


Ouroboros

by Gmni76



Series: Future War [1]
Category: Terminator (Movies), Terminator - All Media Types
Genre: Because I like her that way, F/F, G!P Grace Harper, I don't really care because I write what i want, Life in the Apocalypse, Porn with Feelings, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Sex, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-07
Updated: 2020-05-17
Packaged: 2021-03-02 21:28:42
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 29
Words: 82,908
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24053665
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gmni76/pseuds/Gmni76
Summary: “I killed my dinner with karate.Kick 'em in the face, taste the bodyShallow work is the work that I do.Do you want to sit at my table?My fighting fame is fabledAnd fortune finds me fit and able.”-Joanna Newsom
Relationships: Grace Harper/Dani Ramos
Series: Future War [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1764226
Comments: 64
Kudos: 131





	1. Skinners

By the year 2035, the world had already experienced a cataclysm of apocalyptic proportions. Legion, an artificial intelligence build for military applications and cyber warfare, had taken measures to subdue and then destroy the human race ten years prior. The earth had been thrown into mass chaos. The land burned with radiation until some spots actually glowed in the dark. Humans had retaliated against Legion in the first few days of its attack, by dropping every nuclear weapon in the arsenal. It was all to no avail. Legion was already everywhere. It had learned to protect itself by not occupying one particular space. There was no target for humans to shoot at. Killing Legion was impossible, because Legion was everywhere. It was in every computer server. It was inside every robot created. It would take an act of God to destroy the machines. Ten years later, that was the best hope humanity had for survival. 

Dani Ramos had emerged from the ash clouds determined to just stay alive. Cities had been burned to the ground. Once fertile farmlands were now just fields of ash. Legion had not only attacked humanity where they lived, but it took out all the resources too. Legion ensured that the mass production and distribution of food and fuel were interrupted and decimated so that humanity would starve. The places remaining in the United States that were still ok for farming crops were heavily occupied and blockaded by machines. It was a military tactic akin to something called “The Anaconda Plan”, used during the American Civil War. Legion took control of all the waterways, the farmlands, and other strategically valuable areas; forcing people into a bottleneck where survival rates plummeted. Most survivors were forced into ruined cities. Without resources, people would die en masse. That was Legion’s greatest weapon against humanity. They just starved them out. Dani remembered the military tactic from a class in high school. She recalled Winfield Scott’s plan for suffocation of the Southern states was done to squeeze the Confederacy like a boa constrictor. Every time humanity breathed, reached out for a new angle on Legion, the machines would tighten the grip. Dani marveled at Legion’s strategy, but she saw the inherent flaw in it also. Legion’s tactical moves were all created by man. Legion learned everything it knew from the history of mankind, kept online in digital files. She knew, without a doubt, that because humans created Legion, they could destroy it. She just needed help to do it. 

In the last years before the war began, Sarah Connor had helped Dani learn to fight and shoot. Sarah was a cunning and ruthless warrior. She knew in her core that the machines would stop at nothing. She had already fought them several times and won. She endured her own heavy losses though, including her sanity, Kyle Reese, and her son, John. Sarah was angry and mean. It was exactly the right combination of hatred that made her a vital asset to fighting the machines. She taught Dani everything she knew. Sarah had plans to stay by Dani’s side though it all. Dani never liked remembering it, but the images always snuck back into her mind. Finding Sarah Connor dead in the old Jeep was devastating. They had pulled off the highway to get gas and food. Sarah said she was going to stay in the car. Dani remembered the last thing Sarah ever said to anyone in that world. 

“I’m tired.” 

Dani recalled thinking Sarah just needed a nap, and she’d be good as new, grumpy and angry all over again. Unfortunately, Sarah never woke up. Toxicology reports and the autopsy revealed that Sarah’s liver and her heart were just worn out. Dani could not imagine what kind of pain Sarah had been in before the end. Sarah never complained, even when Dani would send a punch flying into her ribcage during training exercises. Sarah was a tough old bird, for sure. Dani missed her every single day. Sarah had told her time and again about the dream she always had, about the day the bombs dropped and Skynet took control of everything. Sarah had changed that future, but passed away before witnessing another eerily similar one. Dani was grateful for small mercies. 

As Dani scoured the edges of ruined cities for food and water and supplies, she ran into quite a few different people. Everyone was always out for the same thing: they just wanted to survive. Every man, woman, and child kept a close eye on the horizon, their ears open, waiting for machines to end them. There was fierce competition for food and water. What few canned items could be found were coveted and worth killing for. Rumors began to circulate about cannibalism. People were growing desperate for food. Dani had heard about this, but vowed it would never come to that for her. She would die before eating another human being. 

When the first cannibal group came through the area, Dani ran away and hid from them at the top of an old water tower. She knew she’d been treed like a racoon, and the old hound dogs came barking for her. The men howled up at her from the ground, taunting her. They told her she’d either come down on her own, or they’d come up and get her. One of the men, presumably the group leader, shouted obscene and grotesque ideas about what they would do to her before and after killing her. They took some time to let her decide her fate. Though terrified, Dani was not about to be an easy meal for anyone, so she decided to make them come up. They’d have to work for her. There were five of them. They all had that appearance to them, too. No one had shaved in years. No one had bathed in probably as long. They all wore tattered, dirty clothes, and drove around in reinforced pickup trucks. There was always a caravan. The vehicles were lined with scrap metal, protecting the doors and windows. Some of the cannibal crews fastened human skulls to the hoods of their rigs, signifying that they did not care what was for dinner anymore. 

Dani huddled at the top of the water tower, going over every single play in her book. She had no idea how she was going to get out of this one. It was almost dark when the first bullet hit the metal tower and ricocheted. Dani ducked and covered her head. She waited for the inevitable second shot that would certainly kill her. From below, there was a brief second of chaos and yelling. The shot was not intended for her. The bullet had felled one of the man-eaters instead. Dani crouched down and watched as four more bullets tore through the remaining men. The shots had been silenced. The men had tried to run, scatter, and regroup behind the water tower, but whoever was shooting seemed to be all around them. Dani waited, silent, still cornered and vulnerable. She could not be sure whoever had done the shooting was any better than the cannibals. In the fading light, she watched as a group of survivors with rifles began to creep out of the surrounding trees and bushes. One survivor, heavily armored and armed, threw up a signal in the air to the others to gather at the base of the water tower. No one spoke. Yelling out was a great way to get killed, as the cannibal group now knew. 

Dani was frozen in place. She was not going to go down there. Sometimes the rogue military units were no better than cannibals. She did not have to wait to get her answer. The leader began climbing the rungs of the ladder, moving swiftly up toward her. Dani had nowhere to go. She was caught. 

Once the sun had set, darkness did not take long to fall over everything. Dani could only barely make out the silhouette of the person coming straight forward on the narrow catwalk. Hard sole boots clapped the metal walkway. Just a few feet away, whoever it was stopped. Dani did not look up. There was a sudden flash of light, blinding her. “Hello, Dani.” She immediately recognized the voice as someone she knew. She had not heard that particular low, raspy tone in quite a few years. She pulled the face from the recesses of her memory and tied it to the sound of the person calling her name. 

Dani stood, as the flashlight was lowered from her face. She could see the outline of the person standing in front of her. Tall, thin, face covered in dark camo paint, a flash of white teeth as a smile greeted her for the first time in over five years. Grace. Dani blinked a couple of times, and shook her head in disbelief, also to clear the tears from her vision. Could it really be her? 

Gr... Grace?” Dani cocked her head to the side trying to see better. She pulled herself up to her feet, squaring off with the tall figure. The beam of the flashlight was suddenly put up underneath a strong, chiseled chin. Grace’s thin features were illuminated in a sort of nightmarish way, but it was her. 

“Yep.” Grace smiled and started moaning like a ghost from a Scooby Doo cartoon, as she shook the flashlight back and forth across her face. She was just trying to lighten the mood. 

Dani was moving forward before she could think. She sunk herself right into Grace’s chest, or at least into the thick bullet-proof vest that the taller woman was wearing. Grace’s laugh came from somewhere deep in that chest, and she wrapped her arms around Dani as she sobbed uncontrollably. She was so grateful to have run into a friendly face for once. This was finally not a situation Dani would have to fight her way out of. Not everyone had the interests of the human race at heart. Dani was finding that out the hard way. 

Dani had not really interacted with Grace since that first month after finding her in the ruins. Three other survivors were about to kill a 15-year-old girl over whatever she might have been carrying in her backpack. Dani took Grace with her into a group of survivors she trusted. Dani also left her there. It wasn’t because Dani did not want to look after her or raise her. It was because Dani was trying to put as much distance between herself and Grace as possible, so that Grace might survive. Dani felt like Grace being with her was a death sentence for the poor kid. And Dani had vowed not to let her die again. 

Of course, Dani did not just abandon her. She watched out for her from a distance, trying to provide what food and other resources Grace would need growing up. Dani would drop things off for her with her new family, like tins of chicken, peas, fruit cocktail, comic books, and anything else Dani managed to scavenge. She checked regularly to make sure Grace was doing alright, that no one was hurting her or that she had not run off. She made regular rounds with the group. She saw Grace quite often over the years, but made it a point never to spend time with her. But Grace still knew who she was. Everyone knew who Dani Ramos was. Dani did her best to watch out for the girl, but could not bring herself to go back for her. Grace just thought she was another survivor who helped her out one time. That way, there was no resentment or animosity between them. There was only Dani’s secret. 

Grace wrapped her arms around Dani in that moment. “Hey, it’s good to see you too. What the fuck are you doing out this far? Alone?” 

“I was with a few others. We were looking for water.” Dani realized then just how thirsty she was. Grace reached down and unsnapped the canteen hanging from her belt. She handed it to Dani, who unscrewed the cap with shaky fingers, and drank deeply. Once sated, Dani handed it back. 

“You’re lucky we were in the area. Those dead bastards down there would have skinned you alive.” Grace said, returning the canteen to her belt. 

“Yeah... that’s what they said.” Dani fell in behind Grace as they climbed back down to the ground. 

“You shouldn’t be out here. None of us should, really. We’re headed back to camp. It’s not far from here. We came out when we heard the trucks.” Grace regrouped with her people, and talked about what to do with the trucks. “Fuck ‘em,” Grace said, spitting on the ground. “I don’t want anything associated with skinners.” 

Dani watched Grace stand, putting her weight forward on one leg, as if always ready to pounce. Her hair was tucked up under a camouflage boonie cap. She could not have been any older than 20. She wore military issue battle fatigues, probably looted from a surplus store. Grace carried an assualt rifle. There was a shotgun strapped to her backpack, and a handgun on her right hip. Grace had been taught a few things over the years, Dani thought. She was only sorry it was not her who got to teach Grace. 

The group began to move, quietly, back into the trees, heading west. Dani realized that was the way to the survivor’s camp she had left Grace in. Dani stopped suddenly, realizing she had dropped her rifle in the chaos of running. She tried to look around for it, but it was too dark, and the group was already too far ahead. She jogged to catch up to them. Grace stopped and waited for her, picking up the rear when Dani fell in. “We’ll find it tomorrow, or we’ll get you a new one,” Grace whispered behind her. Dani felt completely exposed, like she was the day Grace showed up at the car factory. In truth, Dani was probably a better fighter than anyone she knew. She just did not like not having her rifle with her at all times. She did not like feeling vulnerable. For that matter, where the fuck was the rest of HER party? They’d just scattered as soon as the... skinners, Grace called them, showed up. When Dani reunited with her people, there would be hell to pay, for sure.


	2. Doppelganger

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "You look like a photograph of yourself,  
> taken from far far away.  
> And I won't know what to do  
> and I won't know what to say..."
> 
> -Ani diFranco

Dani followed the group back to their camp. They had not made it all the way back to the western militia base. It was too late at night to travel safely. Not that it was ever safe to travel, but the survivors were seeing less Legion activity in the region. It was only because Legion was waiting them out. Whenever a group would move too far out, expanding human territories, that was when Legion would openly strike. They’d deploy an army of machines to push the human groups back, then Legion would claim that area of land. It was an effective form of warfare, intended to crush and compress people into a smaller and smaller area. It forced humans to fight each other for whatever was left. Legion seemed to like terrorism too. Aside from being this omnipresent boogeyman, Legion would send in small bands of machines to pick groups off in the middle of the night. That’s why there was limited travel after dark. Only those trained for militia combat were allowed to go out at night. 

Grace’s group was camped at an embankment near an old overpass. The road had been destroyed, but the hill was solid. There were three tents set up along the earthen wall. A small fire was lighting the way forward. The group had seven people, including Dani. Everyone unloaded packs and gear and eventually settled around the fire. Dani was grateful for the small blaze, since she had been freezing since the sun went down. Part of that was her own fear, part was the chill in the air. It did not matter what time of year it was. The world was just cold now. 

The group called themselves the Carlsbad Rangers, since most of them were from Carlsbad, Texas. They represented a militia operating out of Fort Bliss, which was not far from there, just a few hours southwest. That was where most of their gear came from. Fort Bliss had become a nerve center for human activity. Even though wide-range communication and cooperation was now impossible, Ft. Bliss had been a self-contained unit during Judgement Day. It was a treasure trove of supplies, if you could get in. It was still heavily guarded, only serving registered militia groups. Ft. Bliss provided training, food, weapons, and other resources, if groups were willing to train and fight against the machines. It was the beginning of the Resistance. 

Dani had an office at the base, since she was in charge of munitions and personnel. She had risen fast in the militia ranks. Dani was currently up for promotion to Commander of the Western Militia, making her the youngest military commander in the region. She had been out on this mission for too long now, months, trying to pull the human forces together to work as one cohesive unit. People were stubborn. They no longer trusted each other. Dani was constantly at odds with that. Her group might have been on their way back home by now. Or they could be dead. That was another problem in this future. The odds of survival went way down every time a person stepped outside. 

She stared blankly into the yellow, orange, and blue flames, watching idly as they licked the air. The soft popping of wood and stone reminded her of a time long ago when this sort of activity was taken for granted. She remembered bonfires with friends. She remembered drinking and laughter, music, sex. The atmosphere now was much more somber. People huddled together for safety and warmth. Fires had gone from being a luxury to a necessity. Dani remembered reading about how human civilization began around the fire. Early homo sapiens gathered together to cook meat and share meals and company. The fire, the hearth, was the root of humanity. Dani mused, and so it would be again. 

Grace moved around the fire to sit next to Dani. She propped two big, booted feet on the edge of the firepit. Grace had grown tall in the last few years. She was almost a whole foot taller than Dani, though Dani realized she was short to begin with. Grace reached up and pulled her boonie hat off. Dani watched the blonde hair unravel from where it had been tucked up all day. Grace’s hair was not long. It fell over her eyes if she was not careful, and it covered her ears and halfway down the back of her neck. It was greasy, but there wasn’t a barber on every street corner anymore. Dani suddenly wondered when the last time she even had a shower was. She missed the hot water at Ft. Bliss. 

They sat in silence, hypnotized by the fire as it danced in place, throwing shadows over each other’s faces. Dani looked at the others. They were all sober, quiet, lost in contemplation about a future or past that did not exist right now. They were not present either. Each man and woman seemed lost somewhere else, probably rehashing their lost loved ones. That was a common activity nowadays: trying to remember those you lost, things you missed. Dani was missing Sarah’s company. Grace leaned over and interrupted her thought with a light shoulder bump. Dani looked up at the hand held out to her. Grace made a fist and motioned for Dani to take what was in her hand. Dani tentatively reached her hand, palm up under Grace’s, as if the blonde were going to offer her a snake. Grace gently opened her fist and dropped a Jolly Rancher into Dani’s hand. Candy was scarce. This gift was a treasure. Dani unwrapped it and put the small, red treat in her mouth. She carefully folded the plastic wrapper and put it in her jacket, so she could save the candy for later. She would rewrap the sugary cube and enjoy it again. She smiled at Grace and thanked her. The tangy cherry flavor did not disappoint. Unfortunately, it also reminded Dani how hungry she was. They all were. That was just a fact of life in this murdered world. 

Even though the fire was close and hot, Dani was freezing. She wished she had made it back with her own group to their camp. She had her own gear, and a great wool blanket. It was heavy, scratchy, and comfortable. Dani loved wool. You could get it soaking wet and it would still be warm. She shoved the memory down, pulled her arms around herself, and tried to forget. Grace must have sensed something, because she slipped out of her own jacket, and wrapped it around Dani’s shoulders. The heat inside the jacket was amazing. Feeling Grace’s warmth against her, even if secondary to actual physical contact, was really nice. The warmth was gentle, and reminded Dani of another time she felt adult Grace’s body heat. She allowed her memory to carry her to the night at the dam, when she, Sarah, and Grace all came out of the river. Dani had been chilled to the bone. Grace swam up to her and pulled her into a strong embrace. Though it only lasted for a second, Dani remembered the enhanced soldier being very warm. Dani would have stayed in that embrace for a lifetime, as she recalled. But, she reminded herself, that was, indeed, a lifetime ago. Dani felt colder now, just wanting to forget the day. 

“Where should I sleep?” She asked, her voice barely a whisper. Grace leaned in toward her to hear a little better. 

“Oh. Um... middle tent. We’ll make room. Are you ready now?” Dani could see the wheels in Grace’s head turning, trying to figure out how to make room for another person. Dani slipped the candy out of her mouth and carefully wrapped it back up. She put it down deep in her breast pocket to save for another time. 

“Yeah, if that’s ok.” 

“Yep. It’s late. We should all get some rest.” Grace announced. She put her hands on her knees and pushed herself up to stand. Grace was a tower, Dani realized. Grace turned to her and offered her a hand up, which Dani willingly accepted. Grace’s hand was rough and huge. It enveloped Dani’s own small grip, long fingers curling around her palm, touching her wrist. That hand felt like safety. Dani remembered how many times another version of Grace had led her out of danger by holding her hand. This was not the same Grace. This was a younger version, distant from Dani now by virtue of the apocalypse. This Grace was a doppelganger of the one she knew before, the same but different in every way. 

The gray tent was built for about three people. Grace shared it with another woman in the group. Dani suddenly wondered if Grace had an intimate partner in her life, or specifically in this group. She excused the thought because tonight it did not matter. What mattered was sleep and warmth and safety. Dani would take those things wherever she could get them. The end of the world had made everyone opportunists. 

The tent was set up inside for two soldiers. There were two sleeping bags laid out side by side. Individual packs and weapons were stowed at the head of each bag. No one ever let their gear get far from them during sleep. Dani was suddenly aware that her own gear was not here. Once inside, Grace and the other woman sat and unzipped their sleeping bags as if they worked on autopilot. Dani handed Grace her jacket back, and the taller woman laid it on the tent floor between the two bags. It wasn’t much, but that is where Dani would sleep. Grace unzipped her bag all the way, unfolding it to act as a blanket. She pulled the jacket tight against her own bedroll, and motioned for Dani to lay down beside her. The other soldier in the tent, Vanda, had already tucked herself in, facing the opposite direction. Dani laid down and let Grace drape the sleeping bag over the both of them. Then, Grace rolled to face away from Dani and went to sleep almost immediately. Grace snored softly. Dani pulled the cover up over her shoulders, acutely aware of how close to Grace she was. She wanted to reach out and touch her. Instead she closed her eyes and hoped not to dream.


	3. Rain

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Rain is grace; rain is the sky  
> descending to the earth;  
> without the rain,  
> there would be no life."
> 
> -John Updike

Dani woke hours later to the sound of rain softly tapping on the canvas shelter. It took her a minute to remember where she was. It was still dark outside. Both women on either side of her remained asleep. Dani laid on her back, thinking about the rain. She loved rainy days that kept her inside with her dad and Diego. She enjoyed cuddling on the couch with the dog, idly flipping through TV stations. She missed watching stupid movies, eating popcorn, and being lazy. She tried hard not to think about food. She found it funny how the memory of food triggered physical responses in her. Her stomach cramped just then, growling loudly. A wave of embarrassment crashed over her. She did not want to admit that she needed anything at all. Part of her public toughness was a lack of visible vulnerability. Her stomach continued to rumble, but it was beyond her control. She just wished she could be anywhere but there. She automatically thought of Denny’s pancakes, and her mouth started to water. In her 31 years, Dani never thought that shitty midnight pancakes would be her undoing. The memory had provoked an emotional response in her, and she had no nourishment to support that reaction. She bit back tears, shaking her head. 

She felt a large hand settle on her belly just then. Grace was awake, and she had heard Dani’s stomach growl. Grace offered comfort before sitting up and digging through her pack. From an inside pocket, Grace produced an open MRE. She had saved part of her meal for that morning. Dani knew there probably was not much to go around. She would never ask for anything either, if it meant someone else had to go without. Grace reached into the heavy plastic bag and pulled out a package of peanut butter crackers and a sleeve of Oreos. She’d been saving them for breakfast most likely. She motioned for Dani to sit up with her, and turned on her flashlight. Grace turned the light to face her chest, so not to wake up Vanda. She quietly tore open the food packages; and there, in the light between them, they shared the goods. 

Dani washed down the dry crackers and cookies with more of Grace’s water. It felt really good to take the edge off her hunger. She appreciated Grace’s generosity immensely. The silence between them was not uncomfortable. Dani remembered the other Grace was naturally quiet too. She had always used conversation as a means to an end. Either Grace was not good at idle chit chat, or she really just viewed talking as only a necessity. Dani, on the other hand, could talk a person’s ear off. She hated awkward silence and always felt the need to fill it. For whatever reason, though, Dani found solace in the speechlessness of Grace’s company. 

The sky started to lighten, but the rain did not stop. It was little more than a drizzle, and Dani knew they could travel despite the weather. They needed to get back to base. Dani wondered where the rest of her crew ended up. They had an unwritten rule that if they ever got separated, they would all head back to Ft. Bliss and regroup there. There was no sense in trying to find each other when the machines threatened their every movement. Plus, body recovery was not something people wasted time with anymore. Death was an inevitability, something to be simply pushed through. Ashes to ashes, Dani thought. 

Grace unpacked some wet weather gear next. She had a poncho, and a pair of plastic pants. Her bag held a light, rainproof jacket. It was not heavy or warm, but it would keep a body dry. She handed it to Dani. “Thanks,” was all Dani said. 

“We should get moving. It’ll be full light soon, and we’ve got a lot of ground to cover.” Dani had decided that Grace was the leader of this particular outfit. Everyone listened to her, it seemed. Grace crouched, unable to fully stand inside the tent, and duck-walked over to Vanda. A gentle hand on the shoulder was enough to wake the sleeping soldier. Vanda sat up, stretched and yawned. She pulled out her own food; a power bar, and ate quietly, still sitting in her black sleeping bag. Grace moved to the end of the tent, unzipped the door, and disappeared outside. Dani could hear whispers and zippers, as the unit started to wake up. The rain started to increase slightly in intensity. Today was going to be cold, Dani thought. At least they would be moving. 

Once all the gear was packed, tents rolled and stored, the group headed off to the west. The first five soldiers took point and flanks, weapons trained in front of them. These people were always ready for a fight or an ambush. Dani admired their training, and dedication to that training. She followed them, with Grace behind her. They did not go back to look for Dani’s rifle. She would miss it. She’d had that M16 for awhile. She’d been using it for almost a year now, since she lost her shotgun. She was always surprised how an inanimate object like a weapon became like a friend. Instead, Grace had given her the shotgun to carry today. At least it was something. Dani did not feel quite so exposed now. 

Dani slowed her pace and allowed Grace to catch up to her. She wanted to talk. 

“Grace,” Dani kept her voice low. “Tell me how things are going out here for you.” 

“Well, truth is, we don’t see too many people anymore, outside of the militia base. Everyone is either dead, dying, or scared of being eaten.” 

“I’m trying to get the local militias to form one bigger, stronger force. So far, I’m not having much luck. Are you in charge back home now?” 

Grace paused, considering the question in all seriousness. It almost seemed to be a touchy subject. “No, but I... have influence.” 

“Good. I’ll need you to have my back when we get there.” Grace nodded in agreement. 

They continued talking about the Legion presence in the area. It wasn’t as typically oppressive like it was in the very beginning. 

“It seems like once they had us surrounded, they just sat back, watching us destroy each other.” Grace explained, never taking her eyes off the surroundings. “Once in a while, they’ll toy with us, sending in small gangs to fuck shit up. I never would have thought that the machines had a mean streak, but fuck. They really seem to like playing with us.” Grace seemed impressed by the intelligence of the robots. Dani was less than impressed. Legion was a petulant child that needed its ass whipped, in her opinion. 

The group hiked most of the day before settling under another overpass, getting out of the rain. They sat quietly in a close circle, sharing food, but not sharing too many words. In this new and frightening era, silence was golden. Dani felt guilty for not having anything to offer in the way of food, but she made a mental note to resupply Grace’s group as soon as she made it back to Ft. Bliss. It was the least she could do. 

One thing Dani understood painfully today was that she was cold. Even though she was wearing thermals under her regular clothes, along with the rain jacket, she was still freezing. It reminded her of the early days when she was not associated with any particular militia. She just bounced from place to place, trying to stay warm and fed. Today reminded her of exactly why she joined that ragtag group of survivors, all hell bent on taking the world away from the mechanical grip of Legion. They had started something really amazing, she thought. They traveled the region extensively, training pockets of humanity how to operate as one unit, with one common goal. She felt that they were so close to bringing humanity together as a whole, only a few more militias away from the creation of an army. They already had a few thousand troops in the area, all operating in tandem with the next. Like Legion, though, humans needed numbers. They needed cooperation. They needed a cause, and they needed hope. Dani always thought she had missed her calling in the time before as a motivational speaker. She was certainly getting her chance to do it in this time. She spoke to every congregation of people she encountered. Some listened, some joined, and others ignored her. Others still were offended at the idea of fighting Legion. They had pretty much given up on ever having a normal life again. Dani knew she could not save everyone, but she was going to at least try. 

That was Dani’s purpose in this fucked up world. The other version of Grace told her that she would be the Commander of the Human Resistance. Dani did not see how that would happen, but in just a few short years, she was about to accept her own command in the West. She realized it would all just take time. It’s not like she woke up one day as the all-powerful Oz or something. She was working toward a goal, but not to become the first in command. She simply wanted to live without fear again. 

Grace reached out, took her arm, and pulled Dani to a sudden stop. She clicked her tongue three times, and the rest of the group halted immediately. They stood completely still. Dani’s heart began to pound in her chest. Fear began to settle around her heart. She stopped breathing and just listened, her eyes scanning back and forth. The rain was the only sound. Beside her, Grace raised her rifle and peered down the sight. She treated the weapon as an extension of her body, Dani noticed, as she swiveled at the hip, moving back and forth as a solid object. A herd of deer crashed out of the brush ahead of them, bouncing with lightning speed to get away. The group had startled them into a quick exodus. Dani had not seen deer in a long time. Then again, Dani did not usually travel through the woods. It was a smart idea though. The group had cover to move freely this way. She could see Grace’s deep blue eyes carving out a memory of where they were when they sighted the deer. This could be a vital hunting ground now. Dani loved those eyes. They kept secrets and held an endless sea of emotion. 

After a few more moments, the area was still again. Grace clicked her tongue twice, and the group resumed forward movement. Dani was very impressed with this Grace. She had always felt safe with the other version, but this one seemed like she was pulled directly out of a military field manual from Viet Nam. She was confident, stealthy, and smart. Dani did not want to leave this Grace for any reason. With the rangers supporting her, perhaps she could convince the militias to join the Resistance after all. With Grace’s support, anything seemed possible. 

Dani pulled the hood of the rain jacket tight around her face, and walked with purpose again.


	4. Ghosts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “And the Mississippi's mighty   
> But it starts in Minnesota   
> At a place that you could walk across   
> With five steps down   
> And I guess that's how you started   
> Like a pinprick to my heart   
> But at this point you rush right through me   
> And I start to drown” 
> 
> -Emily Saliers

The rain had let up a little bit. Instead of the constant battering of wetness against her face and body, Dani only felt a light mist on her skin now. She was happy for the break in the weather, though it was still dark and gray. The fallen leaves beneath her feet were mushy and the wooded floor smelled of damp, decaying earth. The group was working its way up a high hill. Grace held up the end of the line, which was her usual position. Dani felt better with Grace watching her back. 

The hill would have once been covered in trees and grass. Now, it was covered in broken, twisted trunks and branches. It took a bit of maneuvering to make it up without breaking her leg, Dani thought. The team seemed to flow through the organic maze effortlessly. They’d probably taken this route many times. If so, they had been careful not to take the same way every time and imprint a lasting trail. They did not need to give Legion any more help finding them than was necessary. The militia base was still a day away, Grace had told her. It was a lot of walking on an empty stomach, and Dani was starting to get hungry all over again. 

At the top of the hill, a fence of sorts sprang up. It was chain-link in spots. Part of it looked like those old wooden barriers along the highways to keep snow drifts from swallowing the roads. Other parts looked like cattle guards. The fence had been patched together after Judgement Day, obviously protecting something on the other side. The team continued moving swiftly, leaving Dani to only wonder what the fence was for. And that’s when she saw them. 

Standing in the middle of the field were two Legion machines. They were moving together, raising arms and legs. Dani immediately saw the danger and raised her shotgun. She turned to find Grace, but a swift hand grabbed the barrel of her weapon. 

“Shh. It’s ok. They’re not active.” Grace whispered. Dani reluctantly lowered the shotgun, taking a second to look closer. The machines were definitely humanoid. They looked like skeletons. Legion did not bother using organic skin to cover their death bringers in the future. They had nothing to hide in the future. These two machines stood beside one another, caught in an infinite loop of waving their arms, stomping their legs, bending, twisting, and repeating. They were not actually doing anything. They reminded Dani of the little mechanical elves from Santa’s Workshop in the mall; endlessly hammering away at a toy that would never be finished. 

“What the fuck? What’s wrong with them?” Dani’s widened gaze caught Grace’s. The blonde’s strong hand was now on her arm, tugging her forward. 

“They’re disconnected from the Legion network. They’re ghosts. Let’s go.” It was an order from Grace. Dani probably outranked her in some way, but this was Grace’s outfit. Dani nodded, and moved forward. Ghosts. They could not hurt anyone anymore. Why they had not been destroyed was a mystery. Was this place a monument to how humans could defeat machines? Or had they simply been forgotten? Perhaps they were a reminder to future machines passing through that humans would not tolerate them. 

They continued the hike for several more miles before stopping again. Dani’s feet and legs hurt. She was used to walking all the time, but this was ridiculous. The Carlsbad Rangers were professional hikers. They never seemed to tire, covering more distance together than Dani could have alone. Plus, they were all carrying about 50 pounds of gear a piece. Dani was definitely impressed, but she was also getting tired. She slowed quite a bit over the next few miles. Grace would catch her lagging, pressing a friendly hand into her back to push her forward. Dani would just nod and pick up her pace again. Dani felt like one of those elves, walking and walking, being pushed onward, never getting anywhere. 

The woods receded into a flat open plain. Dani could not see anything but an unflinching gray landscape. They were out in the middle of nowhere. 

“Keep up, Dani. We can’t get caught out here. There’s no protection.” Grace commanded. She was so strong, and Dani had no idea how she kept up. Grace was not even close to being augmented, but she was a lightweight, finely tuned warrior. Dani could not compete with that anymore. She could not keep the pace, and kept falling behind. She was weary, and light headed. Hunger pangs were becoming increasingly painful. Dani began to stagger back and forth, feeling her legs start to give out. 

From somewhere behind her, close, Dani imagined, Grace clicked her tongue three times. The rangers stopped and turned to look back. Grace motioned for Vanda to come back to her. Dani stopped, out of breath, and out of strength. She bent down and supported her weight on her knees. Grace dropped her pack and Vanda picked it up, strapped it to her front, and kept walking forward. They had done this before. Grace, though strong as an ox, would not be able to carry both the pack and Dani. She moved beside Dani, and whispered to her to just relax. Dani felt an arm under her knees, and another under her armpit. She used one arm to hold on to Grace’s shoulders as the blonde literally swept her off her feet. They continued moving at a faster pace than before. Dani only realized then that she had been slowing them down for a while. Every one of Grace’s footfalls jarred Dani’s mind. She must have been too heavy for the soldier. 

“You can put me down.” Dani offered. She did not want to be anyone’s burden. 

“I’ve got you.” Grace returned the suggestion with confidence. Dani relented, resting her head against Grace’s muscular shoulder, her face buried in the tendons and skin of her neck. She could feel everywhere she was touching Grace. Her whole left side was pressed tightly against Grace’s chest. Grace’s arm was braced solidly at her back, the other arm tucked under her legs, hands on her thigh and under her arm. She could feel Grace’s fingertips grazing the edge of her breast. Dani tried to ignore it, considering she was only doing it because Dani was too weak to walk. 

Once they made it across the open area, they entered a valley. There was a little stream that Dani could hear through the fogginess of her waning consciousness. Dani heard voices from somewhere in front of her. They sounded familiar, like the people she had been traveling with originally. 

Grace finally stopped, but still held Dani tightly. She was looking for a safe, dry spot to put her down. 

“I can stand, Grace. Put me down.” Grace let her slide out of incredibly strong arms until her feet were reunited with the earth. Grace kept a steadying hand on Dani’s shoulder until she was sure she would not just fall over. Dani nodded to her, and sat down on a fallen tree trunk. Grace met with the rest of the team. They had entered a well-known rendezvous point. It was protected on two sides, and there was water. The team they found there was Dani’s, for sure. She did not have the energy to bust someone’s ass for leaving her to a group of cannibals. 

Dani’s team had encountered several machines on the way there. They were new machines. The team described them as worse than the last bunch. They weren’t just skeletons that resembled humans. These things looked like a human bred with a machine that bred with an octopus that bred with a knife. The team talked about tentacles and the machine’s ability to sprint on all fours. It sounded terrifying. Dani’s team had lost two members, including their cartographer. They said they were lucky to find anything after that. Grace asked how they were able to get away with a nightmare like that chasing them. They hung their heads and admitted to hiding through the whole thing. They had not fired a single shot. 

Grace nodded. Out of anyone else in the world, Grace understood hiding and running. She dismissed herself to go tend to Dani instead. 

“Did you hear all that?” She asked as she put her fingers under Dani’s chin, checking for signs of injury or altered consciousness. “Hey...look at me.” Grace snapped. 

Dani looked up and met Grace’s eyes. Those fantastic pools of blue just melted her. Dani was having a great deal of trouble staying awake now. “Grace, I... am... uh... “ 

“Hungry?” Dani nodded. Grace opened her canteen and helped Dani get a refreshing drink of cold water. “Stay with me.” She reached into her pack that Vanda placed beside Dani, pulling up a power bar and a little thermos. She sat and helped Dani get some food back inside her. Dani was not used to going long periods without eating anymore. Her softness was becoming obvious. That cushy desk job back at Ft. Bliss had made her lazy, she thought. “It’s alright, Dani. It happened to me the first time out with this crew. They’re ruthless. You made it farther than I did.” Dani knew it was a lie, and that Grace was just trying to make her feel better. Grace tore off a piece of the power bar and placed it softly to Dani’s lips. Dani accepted the bite and allowed Grace to take care of her till her senses returned. Her blood sugar was way low. She needed to get that back up. Grace unscrewed the cap of the little thermos and pressed it to Dani’s lips too. “Drink.” It wasn’t a suggestion. Dani opened her mouth and every taste bud in her mouth exploded. Whatever the drink was, it was pure sugar. Dani did not know whether to spit or swallow. She choked and coughed. Grace backed off a little. 

“Jesus. What is that? It tastes like pure sugar!” Dani was exasperated, but she could feel herself coming around again. 

“This?” Grace held the thermos in front of Dani’s view. “This is a homebrew. It’s just water, sugar, and honey, a little amphetamine. Trust me. It works.” Grace urged Dani to take another drink. Dani could feel cavities instantly forming. The shocking sweetness made her teeth ache. She took one more swallow and her eyes began to focus on the woman kneeling between her legs. Dani was becoming very aware how close Grace was to her. 

“Ok. Ok. Ok.” Dani was at a loss for words, which was odd for her. 

“There she is, glad to have you back, Ramos.” Vanda had been standing close by, watching the whole scene. Grace chuckled and put the power bar into shaky hands, pressing the shaky hands against Dani’s own chest. 

“We’ll camp here tonight, V.” Vanda was second in command, and began to pass the word. There would be no fire tonight, with everything wet, and new machines spotted nearby. They’d just raise tents and be quiet tonight. Hopefully the night would be uneventful. Vanda made up a night watch rotation, two-hour shifts, including everyone but Dani. The sky was clouded, but the sun was beginning to fall down behind the western hill. 

The team worked quickly. Dani sat and ate, feeling like a boar’s tit. She was starting to feel better, and went to go help Grace set up her tent. Dani’s team had brought her gear with them. Thank God, she thought. However, Dani was afraid of another day of hiking coming up, with a heavy pack. This time, Dani knew she had food. She was careful to bring extra power bars and the granola mix made back home. It had raisins for sweetness and sometimes nuts were even added when available. 

The rain resumed right after dark. Dani, Vanda, and Grace sat in a circle, eating dinner by flashlight inside the tent. Dani had her own bedroll tonight and her wool blanket. She was definitely feeling better, other than losing her rifle. Grace had returned the shotgun to the straps on her own pack before carrying Dani more than two miles that afternoon. They talked about how much further the base was. A half a day at most, Grace reassured them. Dani shared her granola with the two women. Oats grew fairly well in the colder weather. She ate a lot of oatmeal because other foods were always in short supply. She devoured a power bar and drank water until her belly was full. Dani felt the pull of sleep on her senses, her fullness lulling her into a pleasant haze. She stretched out on her bed, pulled her blanket up to her chin and was asleep. 

Vanda wasn’t far behind. She crawled into her sleeping bag, and that was it. Grace was left sitting in the light of her torch, watching Dani’s face relax. Grace recalled the day that Dani found her. She was a little older now, but still beautiful. Grace denied her impulse to reach out and touch the brown skin of Dani’s cheek. Instead, she pulled off her vest, unrolled her sleeping bag, and laid down beside Dani. She listened to the brunette’s steady breathing until she fell asleep herself. 

Dani woke up suddenly, shaken. She’d been dreaming about the machines behind the fence. They were jerking and moving and laughing. It was not much of a nightmare, but it startled Dani awake. As reality slowly crept back in, Dani opened her eyes to see Grace’s sleeping form tucked in close. She was pressed against Dani’s front through the thick down sleeping bag. Dani could feel her breath on her face. She also noted that one long arm was wrapped around her, strong fingers resting just under her shoulder blades. 

Grace opened her eyes to see Dani watching her. “I just got back from guard duty. Go back to sleep. We’ve got a few hours left.” Grace did not mention at all the fact that she was holding Dani, nor did she pull away. If Dani was honest, it was a great feeling having Grace, this Grace, holding her like it was the most natural thing in the world. Dani smiled, relaxing back into the position. She inhaled deeply, released slowly, and leaned in to press a soft kiss on Grace’s mouth. She instantly regretted it, until she saw Grace smile behind closed eyes. 

“Thank you,” Dani whispered, “for today.” Grace’s response was quick. She unzipped her sleeping bag and held it up for Dani to slide into next to her. Dani did not hesitate. Grace pulled her in with the arm still around her. Dani tried to ignore the surge of arousal traveling through her core as Grace curled her fingers against her back. She sighed heavily and let herself feel the long, solid mass that was Grace, pressing glorious heat into her. 

Dani remembered every single time Grace shielded her with her lithe body, recalling the same strength and heat from years ago. Dani was haunted by more than one ghost tonight. She listened to Grace breathe deep and even, and fell back to sleep.


	5. Snake

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Father's expectations, soul soaked in spit and urine  
> And you gotta make it where?  
> To a sanctuary that's a fragile American hell  
> An empty dream."
> 
> -Rage Against The Machine

Dani woke a few hours later, still very attached to a very warm Grace. There was still a strong, muscled arm curled around her back. There was a leg thrown over hers. Four feet were all nestled together at the bottom of the sleeping bag. Dani opened her eyes, but did not move at all, for fear of disturbing the sleeping giant beside her. She looked at Grace’s face, still smeared with camo paint. Grace had not bothered to take it off at night. Dani wondered what kind of havoc that wreaked on her skin. Dani remembered having to completely wash her face every single night unless she wanted to suffer a severe break out. As Grace slept, Dani noted the absolute calm in her features. There was no tension in her forehead. Her lips weren’t tight and flat like they were when Grace was scanning the landscape for threats. Grace’s face was also not covered in scars yet. The particularly large one that marred her jawline was not there. Dani wanted to run her fingers across the skin there, testing to see if Grace was real. 

This future did something funny to human beings. It allowed them to drop their guard and lose inhibitions. Among soldiers, at least, bedding down with each other was common practice. Huddling together for safety and warmth was not even questioned by society. But this soldier, the one holding her right now, Grace and not Grace, was not stealing some quick release under the cover of night. This Grace was gently holding Dani in a familiar way. But right then, Dani became aware that this Grace also had her hand up the front of her shirt, and was familiarizing herself with Dani’s breast. 

Grace had a light hold on the soft expanse of tissue. She could feel the nipple stiffen under her palm. She had woken up like this, not sure how to proceed. She knew Dani was awake, unmoving. Grace did not want to assume that just because she wasn’t being pushed away that Dani was welcoming a less than subtle advance. On the other hand, she really wanted to squeeze the sensitive bud between her fingers. She opened her eyes to face Dani. Grace remained motionless, allowing Dani to decide the course of action. Grace could feel herself beginning to respond physically to Dani being so close. She usually woke up with a hard-on, but this morning, it was a little extra hard. Grace had never been so afraid in her life. This was Dani Ramos. She’d rescued Grace. Dani was an icon, a hero among heroes in her mind. Grace was not even sure she felt that way for Dani, and her body was just reacting to closeness and warmth. But oh, God, that nipple was dying to be squeezed. Grace put two fingers on either side of it and applied a little pressure. She maintained eye contact with Dani, mimicking the brunette’s reaction with her own silent moan. Dani closed her eyes, letting herself feel the touch. A soft moan escaped her lips. Why did Grace’s hand feel like heaven? Was it because she hadn’t been laid in almost a year? Dani really thought it was all Grace. 

Vanda stirred nearby. Grace slipped her hand back out of Dani’s shirt and watched a wave of embarrassment wash over the brunette’s face. Grace lifted her head to look behind her as Vanda sat up and started rummaging through her bag for food. Dani sat up too, leaving Grace alone in her thoughts, with a very hard cock. Grace rolled on her back and let out a heavy breath, as if she was not sure what to do with herself. Vanda laced up her boots, took a power bar from her pack, said good morning and left the tent. 

Dani turned back to look down on Grace. “What was that?” Dani’s eyes were accusing and simultaneously hungry. Grace presented Dani with that crooked smile of hers, but said nothing. Instead, she reached her hand up to the bottom of Dani’s thermal shirt and pulled. “Ok.” Dani whispered. She leaned forward against Grace, planting a quiet kiss on the blonde. Dani noticed that Grace did not smell really great, but she probably did not either. Grace did not move, save the hold on Dani’s shirt. Dani pressed her breasts hard against Grace’s, to tease her. Grace used her free hand to bring the sleeping bag up over them again, and Dani moved to lay directly on top of her. Dani knew they only had a few moments before the rest of the group was up and moving. So, Dani started moving, grinding herself against Grace’s hard bulge. Dani really had not expected Grace to be intersex, but the truth was pressing against her moistening center, and she was only growing more aroused at the idea of taking it inside her. Using her own center as a measuring tool, Dani could feel that Grace was pretty good size. She watched as Grace’s eyes rolled back in her head. Grace pressed her hips upward against Dani and she almost groaned loudly. It would not be the first time soldiers fucked in the morning before duty. It would be the first time for Dani, however. Dani had heard it all before. Sometimes they tried to be quiet. Some soldiers did not care who heard their passionate cries. Dani was with the former group. She preferred to keep it down. She leaned back down to kiss Grace again, forcibly pushing her tongue between her lips. She had wanted Grace many years before but never acted on it. Here, now, Grace was no longer a child. This twenty-something version of the woman she adored was fucking hot. Grace slipped her hand back up under Dani’s shirt to grasp her same breast from before. Her grip was harder now, and she pinched the nipple to stiffen it completely. Dani reached down and lifted her shirt up, giving Grace full access. Grace did not balk at the offer either. She pulled Dani down and devoured her with hot, soft, and kind lips. The sensation of Grace’s tongue as it washed her nipple drove Dani to grind harder and faster against Grace’s hardness. Dani locked eyes with her again and whispered, “we’re going to come just like this,” to which Grace replied by biting the sensitive nipple. It was just a nip, but Dani cried out nonetheless, further spurring Grace’s desire. They rocked faster and faster against each other. The friction was just right against Dani’s swollen clit. She felt herself coming suddenly. The release was fantastic, but too soon for her liking. She had not had an orgasm in quite a long time. She could feel Grace continue to rock and grind, trying to bring on her own climax. Dani reached down and started rubbing Grace through her pants, squeezing the shape of the solid cock until Grace started to jerk and push against her. Dani looked at her again, and nodded, giving her the ok to let go against her hand. The only sound was their breathing, fast and quiet as they could manage. Grace relaxed back down onto her mat, catching her breath. Dani leaned in and kissed her again, and quickly got up to get dressed. There was no time for pillow talk. They had to get to the base. 

Grace laid there and watched Dani dress. She reached down into her pants and repositioned herself to a more comfortable angle. She was a mess inside her briefs, but it did not really faze her. She was dirty all over. She was actually glad Dani wanted to keep their clothes on. Grace got up and packed her stuff alongside of Dani, taking a moment to stop and smile at the older woman. Dani smiled back. They did not talk about it. 

After breakfast, the team broke camp, got their bearings and began the half day hike to the west. 

Grace had given Dani the shotgun again. The team proceeded in the same formation through the end of the valley. They followed the little creek all the way to the western outpost. It did not take them nearly as long as Dani imagined. Her thoughts drifted from the quick sexual encounter with Grace to the thoughts of the young woman carrying her for miles the previous day. Dani was definitely tired by the time they arrived at the base. She looked forward to a bath and some rest in something that was not the hard ground. You’re soft, Ramos, she told herself. She did not think it was wrong to want good things in this life, hard as they may have been to come by. 

They approached the gate just before noon. Dani could see a flag whipping in the overhead breeze, above a large building. The gate was a derelict collection of corrugated metal siding, stolen from other buildings, and other scraps cobbled together to keep out unwanted visitors. Dani knew that if the base was actually attacked by machines, that fence might as well be a thin cotton bedsheet for all the protection it would offer. Once they made it through the gate, Dani got her first look at the base in a few years. There was an entirely new section of housing being built to the south. Of course, it was not any better than the shanty towns she grew up with in Mexico City, but it was something. The main building had been a privately owned auto shop back in the day. The bay doors were open, and big enough to accommodate huge semi-trucks. Painted neatly on the side of the building, in bright red paint, was a symbol Dani did not recognize. It was a snake, in a circle, eating its own tail. 

Dani turned back to Grace and hitched her head in the direction of the symbol. “What’s that?” 

“An ouroboros. It represents the circle of life and death. Appropriate, yeah?” Grace chuckled. She had been the one to choose the unifying symbol of the Carlsbad Militia. She could not paint or draw to save her life, but it was her idea. She had found a book on ancient Egypt once, and the symbol stuck in her head forever after that. 

As they continued walking into the main building, Dani’s thoughts trailed off. “Yeah.” It was actually pretty cool. Dani thought perhaps the Resistance could adopt it as their own unifying symbol soon. 

The inside of the bay was a busy scene. Dani recognized some faces. Some were new. She was actually looking for the two people who had been in charge here in recent years. “Grace, I need to talk to whoever is in charge.” Grace stepped in front of her, without a word, and walked her to the back office. Grace knocked hard, twice. The door swung open, and a man in jeans and a t-shirt presented himself. 

“David. It’s good to see you.” Dani smiled at him, holding out her hand for him to shake. 

“Dani! Oh my goodness!” He stepped into the threshold of the doorway and hugged her tight, picking her up off her feet. Grace felt a strong surge of jealousy and protectiveness, but remained stoic. Instead, she turned and rejoined her team on the floor of the open bay. They would need to do an inventory, and file a report concerning the skinners and the new machines. Grace did not like David. She thought his approach to reinforcing the base was half-assed at best. Grace also did not like the way he always sent crews out to search in random directions. It was like David was drilling for oil without doing any kind of appropriate ground checking. He was just plugging away blindly. And no one else questioned him but Grace. She thought about bringing his incompetence to the attention of the others, but she realized that it was her own greed for power that moved her. She backed off and let him hang himself, if that ever happened. Grace was happy that Dani was there. Maybe she could either talk some sense into David, or else get him the hell out of the commanding position. 

Inside David’s office, he and Dani talked about how things had been going. David admitted that the new fortifications to the gate and the new housing were subpar. “The truth is, Dani, we don’t have any real builders here. Everyone just scavenges what they can.” 

“David, that’s fine, if it’s all you can do.” She reassured him. In her mind, however, Dani knew they were sitting ducks against the machines. “We have engineers at Ft. Bliss. I can maybe get them out here to help strengthen the structures and help with whatever else you need.” 

“Water and sanitation are becoming issues. We’ve had an influx of new people lately, and our systems cannot keep up. People have to haul and boil water right from the creek. I don’t like them having to do it, because it’s not safe. That’s what I sent Harper’s team out to find was another pump and a new filtrations system. We’ve been digging new outhouses downwind. The septic tanks here just can’t handle it. We’ve got to figure something out. I’m sure Harper told you all about this.” 

Dani remembered the only piece of conversation they had about it before was when she asked Grace if she was in charge here. She’d only admitted to having influence. Dani suddenly wondered what that meant. A conversation for later. “No, actually, there wasn’t much time. We spent all our time hiking. The rangers rescued me from skinners.” 

“Fucking skinners. Jesus. They are getting bold now that the food supply is basically nil.” David rubbed his hand through his greasy black hair. “I never thought I’d live to see this day, for sure.” David was only a few years older than Dani. She nodded in agreement. The two continued to talk about plans to get down to Ft. Bliss and bring the engineers this way, along with more supplies. The Carlsbad Militia was already a registered part of the Resistance. 

“David, why did you not reach out to us sooner? We would have dropped everything to help you.” She asked, hoping for a better answer than what he gave her. 

“You don’t understand, Dani. The politics here are out of control. Everyone is divided right down the middle. Half of us are with me, half of us are against me. And the half against me have a lot of weapons.” Dani was sure he was talking about Grace and her team. “I’m afraid to go against anyone. Anything I do will be wrong. I’ve been expecting a coup at any time.” Dani just nodded silently, wondering just how much influence Grace had here. 

“Alright, David. I really need a bath and a bed. What are the chances of that?” David told her that water had been pumped that morning, so there should be enough for everyone to bathe that day and fix meals. He directed her to the first set of housing on the north side of the bay, to room 10C. It was empty and she was welcome to have it for now. “Thanks. Tomorrow, we will ALL sit down and talk about this. I’m not about to let some petty bullshit stand in the way of this cause.” She watched David visibly relax. He seemed glad she was there. “I like the logo, too by the way.” 

David shot her a look of disgust and fear. “It’s exactly what it looks like. We are devouring ourselves. Just like Legion wants.” 

Dani left the bay with a very dark feeling in her heart. She headed quickly to room 10C, hoping to make it before anyone, including Grace, saw where she was going.


	6. Encounter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Your mouth waters  
> Stretched out on my bed  
> Your fingers are trembling  
> And your heart is heavy and red  
> And your head is bent back  
> And your back is arched  
> My hand is under there  
> Holding you up.” 
> 
> -Melissa Ferrick

The showers at the base were not great. They were not private either. Dani found she had to walk down to the building due south where the showers were located. She opted for putting on her cleanest clothes before she went down there. That way she could just dress and be done with it. She really did not want to rush right now, considering how dirty she felt. She also did not want anyone else looking at her. Her post at Ft. Bliss had afforded her some privacy. She had a bathroom and shower in her own bedroom. She was missing home. On her way down there, one of the soldiers from Grace’s team stopped her to inform her they’d be bringing dinner by her room in about two hours. She thanked them and hurried to the showers. 

Dani also realized she had to lower her standards on the term “shower” and also on the word “hot.” The water pressure was horrible. It was a simple gravity assisted shower, and the water was warmed by the heat of the day in a black tank on the roof. Considering how cold it was today, Dani was surprised she was not hypothermic by the time she was finished. This outpost needed some work. It seemed they were little better off now than they were five years ago. She scrubbed and scrubbed, trying to rid herself of the feeling of being dirty. She managed to wash her hair with the soap provided. It smelled like lye; a bit woody with some ammonia. She took what she could get, making sure to wash her armpits and crotch extra well. There were towels hanging outside the showers. At least they were clean. They smelled faintly of the soap and the open air, as if someone had hung them out to dry. Dani did not stop to consider it long. She wiped herself off quickly, dressed and headed back to her room. 

She could not be sure that Grace had any part in polarizing the outpost community. She could also not know if Grace was the one threatening a coup. But this Grace was a stranger. Dani could not know anything for sure about her. Dani just knew that all of a sudden, she was unsure of Grace. That thought alone made Dani uneasy. She had trusted Grace with her life many years ago. She had saved Grace just as it had been foretold. She watched her grow up, even if at a distance. But this was not the Grace she knew before. Dani had to honestly admit that maybe she was holding on to the idea of someone who no longer existed. 

Dani emptied her pack onto her bed. It was a decent bed, full size, with clean sheets and a motel style comforter. She recalled the afternoon spent with Sarah and Grace in that horrid motel room. Dani missed Sarah’s presence right now. Sarah could read a room without hesitation, and she was usually right. Dani knew something was wrong here, but she could not figure out what it was. Sarah would have picked up on it immediately; and told Dani how to act next. Sarah’s opinion would have been worth its weight in gold. Dani’s personal items were few. She kept a book with her at all times. This time it was “Catcher in the Rye” by Salinger. She had a notebook and a pencil. She carried clean t-shirts, socks and underwear. Sarah had taught her how to pack light. She carried leather gloves, a knife, matches, and a small first aid kit. The kit was really no more than old bandages and some tape, but whatever, she thought. Dani also had a few protein bars left and half a bag of granola. She also had a bag of water purification tablets. She needed to get some pain medication and tampons if they had any. She was sick of using hand-cut rags for her period. While Dani was repacking her things, there was a soft knock on the door. Dinner. 

Dani was grateful for a meal that did not consist of trail food. She did not even care what it was. It probably wouldn’t be Denny’s pancakes, she thought. She smiled as she opened the door. Her smile changed into something else when anxiety struck her like a brick. Grace stood in the doorway, tall, clean, holding a plate covered with a hand towel. 

“Dinner?” Grace held the plate out to her. Dani considered grabbing it and slamming the door in her face. Dani quickly reminded herself she had very little reason to suspect Grace was behind whatever David was suggesting. Dani graciously took the plate and moved to invite her in. Grace moved silently, leaning against the small dresser. Dani took the plate to the bed and unveiled her dinner. It smelled wonderful. There was meat. Probably deer or rabbit. It looked slow-cooked in some kind of brown sauce. There was a hard, little apple, cut up into four pieces, and potatoes, boiled and salted. 

“Thank you for this, Grace.” Dani sighed heavily. 

“Oh, shit...here.” Grace dug into her pocket and produced a metal fork. She did not need to even move from her perch, the room was so tight. Her long arm was enough to reach Dani’s outstretched hand. “And... you’re gonna love this.” Inside one of the cargo pockets on her pants, Grace fished out two bottles of what looked to be beer. There were no labels. The bottles were corked. 

“More homebrew?” Dani was skeptical after the first drink of that sugar water. 

“We have a guy who makes his own beer. It’s actually pretty decent.” Grace handed her one and uncorked the other for herself. At this point, Dani did not care. She was starving. She dove right into the meat. 

“Oh. My. God. That is amazing.” Dani said with her mouth full. “What is it?” 

“Deer.” Grace took a long pull on her beer, watching Dani carefully, as if she’d slip away somehow. Dani did not speak again until her plate was clean. The potatoes were a little bit hard, but they had a great flavor. The apples were tart and not very sweet, but then again, it beat cold food out of her backpack. Dani drank half the beer in one chug. Grace was right, it was pretty decent. It tasted like honey and wheat. 

Dani pushed the plate to the edge of the bed. Grace leaned in and picked it up, setting it on the dresser behind her. Dani backed up and rested her back against the wall, propped up on the single pillow. 

“Grace, tell me about your relationship with David.” 

“What did he tell you?” Grace was visibly uncomfortable suddenly. 

“I want you to tell me. I cannot make any kind of progress with infighting going on.” Dani had a point. What good would it do to spend vital manpower and resources on a group that was about to tear itself apart? 

“David is an idiot. I know you’ve known him a long time. But ever since his wife left, he just hasn’t been the same. He’s reckless. He doesn’t think things through. He creates these random missions for things we don’t need. He’s always doing things the easy way, and it leaves us all exposed to the machines.” 

Dani listened carefully, trying to decide if Grace was being honest. 

“Are you going to attempt a takeover?” Dani did not see any point in beating around it. 

“To be honest, I thought about it at one time. But why? I thought that I could do a better job, but my interests weren’t in line with the population. I just wanted to get rid of David so I could be in charge. I realized, on my own, that was the wrong reason. So, I decided to just let him fail on his own.” 

“He thinks someone, a lot of someones, are out to get him. He says this place is divided. It sounds pretty dangerous to me.” 

“Yeah, that’s not me, though. That’s really. Well. It’s Vanda, really. She’s been having meetings with other soldiers about how they could form a coalition to run this place. They think they can do it better. Honestly, David is just hanging on by a thread.” Grace explained, swilling the last of her beer. 

“What is your part in it? You said you had influence here, but you’re not in charge. What did you mean?” Dani was not pulling any punches today. 

Grace shrugged. “I don’t know. People listen to me. I know I could make this go either way if I wanted to.” Grace would not meet Dani’s eyes this time. The weight of the responsibility was heavy on her shoulders. Dani could see that clear as day. Dani did not believe Grace had a reason to lie to her. Grace was a Resistance soldier. Dani was a ranking officer. Their ideologies were basically aligned. 

“Ok, Grace. I have to meet with everyone tomorrow. Can I count on your support?” 

“Of course, Dani. My loyalty is to you, to the Resistance, first. I hope you believe that.” 

Dani stood and moved toward Grace. Her face was tightened down by the feeling of authority. Her brow furrowed. She was completely serious. “I need to believe it. But I also need it to be true.” 

Grace finally looked her in the eye. Grace suddenly looked 15 years old again. Dani could see the fear in her eyes. Grace was telling the truth. Dani reached up and put her hand in the middle of Grace’s chest. 

“OK. That’s good enough for me.” Dani whispered. Grace pushed herself back to sit on the dresser, opening her legs a little wider as Dani pushed forward, still holding her hand on Grace’s chest. As Grace moved, glass clinked inside her other cargo pocket. Dani cocked an eyebrow. 

“You want another beer?” 

Dani laughed. “Are you serious?” Grace reached down and produced two more corked bottles. 

“I told you. I have influence.” 

Dani grinned and accepted the second beer. She set it down behind Grace and moved in for the kill. She flashed her fiery brown eyes up at the blonde, pleading with her. “Grace.” Her voice was just a hot breath. She reached with her free hand and pressed it against the blonde’s belly. This was the first time Dani had seen her without the black and green paint on her face. Grace was absolutely beautiful. She was almost too young for Dani. Her skin was supple and tight all at the same time. Her body was so muscular that Dani only wanted to touch her everywhere. The stirring of arousal began deep inside Dani’s body. Heat began to rise in anticipation. Grace was showered and didn’t stink anymore. 

Grace licked her lips, slowly lowered her head and kissed Dani. She moved her hands to Dani’s waist and pulled her in even closer. Grace deepened the kiss, sliding her open mouth against Dani’s lips, pushing her mouth open as well. Grace pulled back just a hair, so their lips were still mostly touching, and she hovered, breathing Dani’s breath; until Dani curled her tongue out and caught the blonde’s upper lip, running her tongue along Grace’s teeth. That was the only invitation Grace needed. She stood and flipped Dani around, pressing her breasts into Dani’s back. She wrapped an arm around the older woman, holding her hip in one hand, sliding her other up inside Dani’s shirt, searching for a soft breast. She breathed heavily in Dani’s ear. “This morning, you said ‘we’re going to come like this’, while you were grinding on me, remember?” 

“Yes.” Dani sighed in agreement. 

“Well, tonight, we’re going to come like this.” Grace gripped a breast in her hand, squeezing firmly. Dani gasped at the sensation. She wasn’t sure if she should be afraid that Grace was about to get really rough with her. 

“Grace. Please.” Dani was afraid though. She was aroused, for certain, but it was not without fear. She trembled beneath Grace’s hands. 

“I won’t hurt you. But I am going to fuck you.” Grace held her tight, steadying her. Dani leaned her head back against Grace’s shoulder. Grace slid her other hand up under the t-shirt, firmly cupping Dani’s other breast. She squeezed them in unison, taking care to gently rub the nipples back and forth between her fingers. Dani pushed her ass back against Grace, silently giving herself to the young blonde. Grace released Dani and pulled the brunette’s shirt off. She pulled her own up over her head next. She pulled Dani back against her. Dani moaned at the sensation of Grace’s nudity and her own. Their skin was hot. Grace’s nipples were hard against Dani’s back. Grace reached one hand up and cupped Dani’s chin, tilting her head back. She lowered her head and kissed Dani from that angle, prodding her mouth with her tongue, searching Dani’s mouth. She reached down and started unbuttoning Dani’s pants, slipping her long fingers down into the cotton panties. Grace let her fingers play in the thick pubic hair before sliding her middle finger down through Dani’s wet slit. 

“Grace, I …" 

“You’re so wet.” Grace kissed her deeply again, feeling her length harden as she rubbed her finger back and forth through Dani’s wet folds. Dani could feel her clit swelling at Grace’s touch. She was not rough but was not overly gentle. It was just what Dani needed. Grace slipped her finger lower, pushing it slowly inside Dani. Dani’s walls clenched around the finger, kicking Grace’s libido into overdrive. She swirled her finger around slowly, opening Dani’s body up. “You’re tight, too.” 

Dani had never wanted anything or anybody the way she wanted to fuck Grace in that moment. She started to pull her pants down. Grace used her free hand to stop her. “I’ll do that. Relax.” Dani nodded and reached a hand behind her to stroke Grace through her pants. The feeling of her rock-hard cock drove Dani into a deeper state of pleasure as Grace softly stroked her walls and gently pressed at her g-spot. If Grace wasn’t careful, Dani thought, she’d come just like this. Dani tried to unbutton Grace’s pants. She wanted to feel the hard shaft in her hand. Grace allowed it. Dani fumbled with the button and the zipper, but was successful. She reached down into Grace’s pants and wrapped her hand around it. It was huge, and stiff. Grace moaned at the sensation of Dani holding her. Dani took several slow strokes before Grace began walking her toward the bed. “Lay down, Dani.” Grace was used to giving orders, but Dani was not used to taking them. The whole situation was an affront to Dani’s preconceived authority. But she liked Grace’s strength and confidence. Dani lowered herself down onto the cool quilt. “Get up all the way on the bed,” Grace commanded. Dani moved herself up and could hear Grace shucking off her pants. She glanced back to see Grace, naked, cock standing up, moving toward her. She closed her eyes and let Grace work. She felt her pants and panties coming off as a pair. Dani was completely exposed now. Grace knelt on the bed between her legs, spreading them wider with her hands. She groaned at the sight of Dani’s soaking wet core. “Dani, you are so beautiful.” Grace whispered. She stroked her cock a few times, making sure it was completely hard. She positioned the swollen head at Dani’s wet, warm entrance, and carefully laid down on top of her. “Are you ready?” She softly whispered into Dani’s ear. 

“Please, Grace.” Dani could not even think. She had been ready for something like this for almost a year. Grace began to push herself deep into Dani, not even trying to stifle a loud groan. Dani tried to angle her hips up to get more friction from Grace, but Grace pinned her down with one hand. 

“Just like this.” Grace held her hard cock inside Dani’s tightness. She was so tall, Grace grabbed the pillow and put it under her head, so she could lay there and watch Dani as she fucked her. She held Dani’s hip firm, and gently stroked Dani’s cheek with her free hand. Then she pulled out nearly all the way, and drove her huge cock back home. Dani cried out. Grace shushed her, caressing her face. Then Grace did it again; pulled out almost all the way and then slammed back home. Again, Dani howled as Grace continued to plow into her. “Am I hurting you?” Grace stopped for just a moment, suddenly second guessing herself. 

“No.” Dani breathed hard. 

“Good. Take my cock.” Grace began to slowly pound Dani from behind. She held Dani in place the entire time, taking long, deep stroke, after long, deep stroke. She could feel Dani’s pussy clamping down every time. She was so wet; Grace just grew harder and more aggressive. “Take it, Dani.” She growled as she hammered deep again. Dani was panting, moaning, writhing with each deep stroke. She wanted to come. Grace must have had a sixth sense, and rolled them both over. Dani was now on top, but still had her back against Grace’s chest. Grace brought her knees up between Dani’s legs and continued moving inside her, slower and gentler now. Grace wrapped her arms around Dani, holding her still. Dani held on to Grace’s arms. “This feels so good, Dani. Do you feel good?” 

“Yes. Grace, I want …” She could barely breathe as Grace continued to pump her cock in and out of Dani. 

“Ok.” Grace slid a hand down and found Dani’s aching clit. She rubbed slowly, in rhythm with each stroke she took. 

“Faster, Grace.” Dani pleaded. Grace made a noise between a moan and a growl, resuming her deep hard strokes, at a faster pace now. She was drilling Dani hard, grunting now, as she furiously rubbed Dani’s throbbing little bud. Dani was so close. The next stroke broke open the dam and the brunette’s body surrendered to the flood of pleasure. Grace felt her spasm around her hard shaft, and proceeded to fuck her faster, feeling her own orgasm building. As Dani began to slow down, Grace sped up until she felt her balls tighten and she exploded inside the brunette. Grace shook and held Dani tight against her body, pumping her full of her white, hot seed. “Oh, God, Dani!" Grace rocked them back and forth gently, slowly, until she could comfortably stop them. Dani felt absolutely wrecked. Her mind felt like it had been emptied of all thought. Her body just throbbed and pulsed with each beat of her heart. Grace laid beneath her, relaxed, holding her gently. Grace softly kissed Dani's neck, and whispered in her ear, "Are you ok?" Grace never wanted Dani to feel anything but good. Especially with her.

“Grace?” Dani reached up and ran her fingers softly through blonde hair.

“Hmm?” The blonde hummed, running her fingers back and forth across Dani’s belly. 

“How about that beer now?” Grace laughed deeply. Dani loved that sound.


	7. Coherence

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “We're captive on the carousel of time  
> We can't return we can only look behind  
> From where we came  
> And go round and round and round  
> In the circle game.” 
> 
> -Joni Mitchell

Grace did not stay long after the encounter. She cleared Dani’s dinner plate, kissed her goodbye, and went off to work in the kitchen. Then she had guard duty. Grace’s outfit was first up on the rotation. Grace said if she could manage it, she could sneak back later. Dani told her it was ok. She needed to get some rest anyway. The real truth was that Dani was scared shitless. There were so many “what-ifs” attached to her thoughts tonight. 

What if Grace was lying? What if David was actually doing the best he could? What if her plan went wrong tomorrow and the Resistance ended up losing another vital component to the cause? What if that wasn’t really deer that she had eaten? 

There were just so many variables that Dani could not make sense of. Everything felt like it was up in the air right now. The only thing that would turn any of those weird possibilities into absolute truths was time. This was a hard equation. It was like Schrödinger's math problem. This plus this might equal this but simultaneously could equal something else. The only way to know was to let time catch up to the question and let reality collapse down, creating a single outcome. Dani could not cope with it right now. There was also no way she could sleep. She thought about wandering around the base, maybe go find the woman who had just tipped her whole world on end. But for some odd reason, Dani did not feel safe outside the confines of her room. There were so many new faces, strangers. And Grace was not who she thought she was. This Grace was hard. She was hard to figure. She had lived a much different life, Dani supposed, than the Grace she knew years ago. It was just another piece of the puzzle. 

Dani pulled out her notebook and decided to try and write down all the things she thought were important to tomorrow’s meeting. She made a list. Dani liked lists. 

Find out where everyone stands. 

Find out who has military training. 

Determine if David has support from the majority. 

Call out Vanda. 

Department heads need to meet, decide priorities. 

Remind them what they’re fighting for. 

Visit the kitchen. 

Get a head count. 

Dani probably should go do #7 right now. She remembered that episode of The Walking Dead when the group got to Terminus. It was just too good to be true, and Denise Crosby’s character was bbqing the visitors. The thought of this being a covert cannibal outpost simply sickened Dani. Sarah would have ended that shit right away, Dani knew. She really felt like she was lost without Sarah Connor. Sarah might have been mean and drunk half the time, but she really knew people. Dani did not feel like she knew anything out here sometimes. She was feeling really weak. 

The biggest surprise, and not really in a good way, was Grace. Dani had just expected her to be softer around the edges. Grace was sexy as hell, for sure, but the Grace that Dani remembered was more feminine and gentler. Maybe Grace’s personality now was because Dani abandoned her instead of keeping her close. She tried not to beat herself up over it. There was nothing she could do about it now. She was going crazy, and she had no counsel. Dani realized that this was a crucial moment which could very well determine the outcome of her own future with the Resistance. She was completely alone and had to decide for herself what she was going to do next. This was a make or break moment. 

She paced back and forth through the room, but there was nowhere to go. She was chasing her own tail. She was an ouroboros. And that’s when it dawned on her. She had to form the bridge between life and death. She had to help these people create meaning in life. This whole time, Dani let herself worry about whether or not she was a capable leader. She had not even thought about the fact that she might very well be the ONLY leader that people would follow. She was not perfect. She was scared right along with the rest of them. And that was the angle she had to use with them tomorrow. 

Dani put her boots on, laced them, put on her jacket, and tied her hair back. She could still taste Grace’s kisses, and her skin was still tingling from rough touches. Grace had followed the entire experience up with being quite gentle with her. Dani was going to find her and attempt to make a lasting bond with the woman. She had to at least try. 

Grace was standing at the front gate, by herself. She had her rifle slung over her shoulder, walking back and forth between the gate posts. Whenever Grace thought she heard something in the distance, she’d stop and listen. Nothing came. No one was out there. Grace wanted a chance to go shoot some deer soon. Seeing that herd yesterday really got her blood pumping. Grace let her thoughts travel further out. She was worried about how Vanda would react to Dani tomorrow. If she knew Dani Ramos, this was going to be a gut punch to some people in this community. On the other hand, if that problem got solved, Grace thought that the whole atmosphere here would level out. Truth be known, Grace liked Vanda as a person, but her politics were terrible. She was very much a “my way or the highway” person. Grace had earned her place in the table. She shed blood just like everyone else, but did not ever use it to her advantage, unless she was conning Larry out of an extra two beers. Dani Ramos was another issue. Grace had never been emotionally close to anyone before. She could feel Dani edging in on that. Grace did not like it. She had real things to worry about. She was a soldier. A fighter. She did not think she was much of a lover, other than her need to dominate women in bed. Her earlier experience with Dani left her only wanting to be nicer to her. Grace was afraid of the soft side. She was afraid of losing her sharpness, her hardness that made her a better soldier. Grace wished she had Vanda to talk to right now, but she felt that keeping her distance right now would make tomorrow go smoother. Grace heard boots in the dirt behind her. She spun around to see Dani walking toward her in the darkness. Oh shit, Grace thought. 

“Grace. Hi. I was wondering if you’d like some company right now.” 

“Hey Dani. Umm. I uh...” Grace could not find the words to tell Dani anything. Her heart was conflicted. She wanted to be alone, but she did not want Dani to leave. “I’m having a hard time with things right now.” 

Dani nodded, letting Grace’s words land hard. “I get that.” Dani turned to go back to her room, leaving Grace to do her thing. She got about ten feet away before she heard three soft clicks. She stopped. Grace had just used a military signal to tell Dani to wait. Dani turned and Grace was walking toward her. Grace stopped in front of her and reached to take her hands. Grace squeezed them too hard, but did not let them go. Dani looked up into the icy stare, feeling both estranged from Grace and at home all at once. 

Dani realized right then that this was HER Grace, she just had different ways of communicating. She was hard and she was rough. But she was gentle too. And she wanted Dani to stay. 

“Grace, I’m scared.” Dani bared herself open, hoping that the young blonde would not destroy her. 

“I am too, Dani.” The look they shared spoke a thousand words. Dani hugged her tight for a moment. 

As she pulled away, she reached into her jacket pocket and palmed the Jolly Rancher. She held it in her fist for Grace to take. Grace opened her hand, and Dani dropped it for her. “Come find me when you’re done.” 

Grace nodded and watched her go. She was feeling much better. At least Dani did not need to talk through all the feelings with Grace. She honestly thought they were a bit beyond that right now, though she could not figure out why. Dani clearly needed her. Grace finally let herself need someone too. 


	8. Undertow

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Yeah, standing above the crowd,  
> He had a voice that was strong and loud and I  
> Swallowed his facade 'cause I'm so eager to identify with  
> Someone above the ground,  
> Someone who seemed to feel the same,  
> Someone prepared to lead the way,  
> And someone who would die for me.
> 
> Will you? Will you now?  
> Would you die for me?  
> Don't you fucking lie."
> 
> -Tool

Grace slipped quietly into Dani’s room after the second rotation relieved her team. Grace had gone back to her room and changed out of her fatigues, into a plain t-shirt and sleep pants. She wore sneakers down to Dani’s room. It was well after midnight. 

Dani was sleeping soundly, her back to the door. Grace felt mildly dirty, since the only time she ever snuck into another woman’s room was to have sex. This was not one of those times. When Dani met her at the gate, Grace clearly understood that this meeting would involve something different. It would probably just be sleep. She reached down beside Dani and pulled the comforter back enough to slide in bed beside the brunette. Dani shifted, breathed deeply, and readjusted herself, but did not seem to wake up. Grace had frozen in place when she’d moved, up on one knee, holding the blanket up, propped on her other elbow. When she was sure Dani was asleep, Grace carefully moved in next to her. “I thought you’d never get here.” Dani whispered, her voice raspy and sleepy. 

“I changed my clothes first. Is this okay?” Grace was referring to herself being in Dani’s bed. She had made an awfully big assumption that would be what Dani wanted. 

“Yes.” Dani rolled onto her back to look up at Grace, who was laying close, on her side. They just looked at each other in the dark. There was a floodlight out by the main building. Light penetrated the small window of the bedroom, through translucent curtains. Dani’s eyes tracked over Grace’s face, always searching for clues to tell her who this woman was, looking for indicators that it was the Grace she knew. Dani was struck suddenly between being pleased and not seeing the familiar features. But then Grace would shift her head to one side, and there she was for Dani. On the other hand, Grace seemed to be inquisitive of the brunette, studying her eyes, her nose, her mouth. Grace studied her, as if to memorize everything. Her blonde hair was shaggy, hanging down over her eyes. Dani reached up and pushed the locks away so she could see those surreal blue eyes. Grace smiled, showing her teeth. Dani loved that smile. It definitely was a new feature of this Grace. In 2020, Grace had not smiled even one time. But an augmented sense of duty might have been to blame. There was no time for fun and games then. They were just running for their lives. Here, in this oddly relaxed moment, Grace was different and new and wonderful. Dani ran her fingertips across the place on Grace’s chin where that big scar had been. She felt the blonde lean in to the touch. This was a completely different atmosphere than earlier. Dani wondered what the aliens had done with Grace. She was demure and softer. 

Grace loved Dani’s light touch. She was enjoying the intimacy shared in this quiet moment. It was different for her. Grace believed that Dani needed this. Grace needed it too. She just did not know how to do it. “Dani, I’m really out of my element here.” Grace felt a rush of heat in her cheeks. She did not like showing weakness, but something told her Dani would not hurt her. She leaned down to hopefully get a kiss. She was happy to have her lips met with a willing mouth. Grace did not push Dani any further with the kiss. She just held the side of Dani’s face, letting her presence be enough for now. What Grace wanted, deep down inside, in a rare, secret spot, was to lay her head on Dani’s chest and be held. She had not been held probably since before her mother died. Grace did not want to be held by a mother. Grace wanted to be held by a lover, a confidant. She only had to cross the line and open herself up to it. She pulled back from Dani and felt the sudden uncomfortable wave of feelings begin to consume her. The undertow was more than her tough exterior could manage. Tears began to form in her eyes. She could feel them burning. She blinked several times, willing them away. But it was no use. 

Dani watched something intense rise up in Grace. She could visibly see it grow more and more powerful as Grace struggled to keep it at bay. She did not ask what it was. Of course, it was a memory or a need. Dani could read that plain as day, but she did not push it. She just watched curiously as Grace allowed herself to be swept away in the current. Dani reached across her own body and held her hand. 

Grace knew she could not stop this feeling now. She was too close to it. She was too close to Dani. Grace cursed herself for going soft. By the same token, Grace had to consider the healing value of being emotionally closer to this woman. She began to falter under the pressure which carrying this burden her whole life had created. She needed to vent this before she blew up at the wrong time. Grace sobbed once as her resolve cracked. She felt Dani’s hand tighten on hers, and the compassionate brown eyes that never left her face. She could feel the hot tears rolling down her cheeks. Grace succumbed to her true desire, and gave herself willingly to Dani. She laid her head on a soft breast, hearing Dani’s breath hitch suddenly. She wanted to pull away, afraid she had done something foolish. Dani pressed her hand across the side of Grace’s head, holding her to her chest. She was still holding Grace’s hand with her other one. Grace allowed herself to be pulled against Dani’s small body. She allowed herself to submit to the gravity of the situation. Dani seemed to understand this completely. She never questioned it. She just held Grace. Dani would hold Grace for as long as she needed to stay there. Dani draped a leg over the long pair curled against her. Dani would offer whatever comfort she could to the warrior who had laid down her sword and shield. As Grace had shielded her all those years ago, Dani was finally able to reciprocate in a way that was different, but no less important. The vital connection had been made. Dani would have Grace’s counsel, and Grace would have Dani’s trust. 

The morning came too soon for either of them. They had not moved out of the position they were in when Grace finally fell asleep. Dani still held her very close, intensely protective of the soldier. Daylight forced its way through the window and into Dani’s conscious mind. She had to get up and get moving. Her work here was only just starting. She had to wake Grace so she could get up. She moved her hand from the back of the blonde’s head to just under her chin. Grace gasped when Dani touched her there. 

Grace’s eyes snapped open. She felt like she’d been hit by lightning. She had let her guard down and she did not know what was happening. She was not even sure where she was. She felt a gentle hand on her chin, pressing softly, securing her. Dani still had her. Grace’s mind raced. How could she recover from this? Her instincts all told her that she needed to snap back into fighting mode. But the soft and quiet way of the woman beside her prevented her from fleeing. Dani wasn’t forcing her to stay. Grace stopped herself from pulling back. She forced herself to stay. This was what she wanted last night. She still wanted it this morning. Grace just did not know how to continue with it. 

Dani felt Grace shiver. She let go of her, allowing her to make the choice on her own. “We have a lot of work to do today.” Grace rubbed her cheek back and forth over Dani’s breast, feeling the small nipple begin to raise under the friction. Grace knew this was not the appropriate time to pursue anything further. It was a loving touch, though. It was something Grace liked quite a bit. Dani hummed softly in response. 

Grace sat up, and rubbed her eyes. They were dry and sore from crying. She turned to look at Dani. “Is it noticeable?” She asked, blinking and widening her gaze at the brunette. Dani chuckled. They were definitely bloodshot. 

“Yeah, but you can tell everyone you’re just hungover.” Grace nodded and was grateful for the use of the lie. She reached down and touched Dani’s hand, held it for a moment, and then moved out of the bed. At the door, Grace hesitated and turned back. 

“I’ll see you soon. I’ll be there for whatever you need, Dani.” Grace did not wait for her to respond. She nodded at Dani and left the room. Dani laughed to herself. Grace was a funny animal. 

The main building was buzzing with activity when Dani Ramos arrived for the day. The large, open bay was full of folding tables, and people seated around them, shuffling papers, talking, clearly working. David was at the far end of the bay, talking to one soldier from Grace’s team. He spotted her and his eyes lit up. He strode across the room toward her. “Dani, have you had breakfast?” She nodded, still taking in the sight around her. 

“David, what’s going on?” She asked in her signature Captain Ramos tone. David was excited about whatever was happening. 

“Grace brought us a list of things she thought you might like to get done today. David reached into his pocket and pulled out a piece of folded paper. On it was Dani’s list that she had made the night before. She suddenly felt a twinge of betrayal and fear. This was a private list for her only. How had Grace gotten a hold of it? Why? “We’re already working on half of it. These are the heads of each department here. They are compiling information on what we need to do, and in which order. That was a very good idea, Dani. I had been so disorganized since Celie left. Grace’s outfit is conducting a head count today, and they will also report who has military training.” 

Dani tried to swallow her shock and just be productive. “Ok, David, that’s great. I’m glad you’ve already got a move on things.” Dani looked at the list again. “What I need from you, is to call a meeting. I want EVERYONE here today. I’m going to talk to them all. We can sort out the rest of these things then. Vanda, your support, and I’ll remind them what we are fighting for.” David smiled and nodded in emphatic agreement. “Actually, David, do you know where I can find Vanda now?” 

“She’s getting the head count. She’ll be on base somewhere.” It was the only answer he had to give. 

“Can I use your office?” Dani asked, thinking she would need a place of operations while the information began to pour in. Already, while they were standing there, a woman from the armory had handed her a stack of papers. David took her back, unlocked his door and gave her access. 

“There’s coffee if you’re interested.” David offered as he shut the door behind him. 

Damn it, Grace, Dani swore to herself as she sat behind the big wooden desk. She was pretty pissed off at first, but she realized quickly that Grace was probably just trying to help her. Maybe that was Grace’s way of saying thanks. Dani put it out of her mind and got to work on the armory files. There was a soft knock at the door just as Dani had settled in to the comfortable, if not a little tattered, leather office chair. “Enter!” she commanded, surprised at the authority in her voice. The door swung open to the inside, and Vanda stepped in. 

“Just the person I wanted to see. Come in.” Dani motioned for her to sit in the folding chair in front of the desk. 

“Ramos, I -” Vanda started to talk but Dani cut her off. 

“It’s Captain Ramos.” 

Vanda had just been taken down a notch visibly. Dani could see the woman’s eyes widen momentarily. Vanda, in her mid to late 30s, had long dirty blonde hair, tied back tight behind her neck. She had fair skin and green eyes that seemed to give her away in this moment. She looked down at the stack of papers in her hands. “Captain, these conclude the head count.” She slid them across the desk toward Dani, who did not make eye contact with her. 

“Ok. What’s the word?” Dani asked, carefully looking over the numbers. 

“122. 125 with you and your team, ma’am.” Vanda’s voice had come down too. She seemed like the type of woman, who given a little bit of authority, would utilize it in all areas of her life, until contradicted by someone matching that energy. No wonder Vanda was Grace’s second. 

“Very good. Now, I want to talk about David.” 

Vonda shifted uncomfortably in her seat. “What about him, ma’am?” She was not going to give up any more information than necessary, Dani decided. That was ok, since Dani was accustomed to working with difficult people all her life. She’d faced down more than one terminator in her time. She was feeling strong today, considering how the roles had reversed with Grace earlier. 

“Why are you trying to make trouble for him?” It was a straightforward question, to which Dani required and equally straightforward answer. 

“Because he’s not fit to lead this place.” 

Dani raised her eyebrows at Vanda. “And you think you are?” 

“Better than he is, yes.” Vanda countered. Considering how David had really pulled things together this morning, with only an obscure note and whatever direction Grace had given him, Dani was willing to give him the benefit of the doubt here. 

“Tell me how you came to that conclusion, Vanda. What rank do you carry?” 

“Private.” Vanda looked directly at her, defiant. Dani tried her best not to smile. “I’ve been working with the Rangers for a few years now. I know how to lead. Harper has taught me quite a bit. I also have friends who think that I would make a great leader here.” 

“What makes a great leader, Private?” Dani could not resist the jab. 

“Confidence, intelligence, heart. David has none of those things. At least not without Celie. She was the one who ran this joke.” Vanda was getting pissed. 

“This place is a joke to you?” Dani scowled at the soldier in front of her. Dani wanted to slap her face and wake her up. “This joke, is a safety net for your ass. Where do you go when you come home off of missions? You don’t go sleep in the bushes do you? You have a room here. You get fed here. You get weapons and ammunition. You have friends here. Do you not feel safe here?” Dani leaned forward on the desk, crossing her arms in front of her. 

“You’re right about all of that. But it needs to work better. Everyone here is divided on David’s leadership.” Vanda did not have a leg to stand on here. Dani knew she had her cornered. 

“How did that come about? Who divided them? Because I’ve heard from a few different independent sources, that it has been you. Private, are you responsible for all the shit-talking?” Dani had just thrown her ace. Unless Vanda was going to lie about it, Dani had her. 

“He’s not fit, Captain.” 

“That’s what you’re going with? I’ll ask you one more time, Private. Are you responsible for the division at this base?” 

Vanda breathed sharply out of her nose, biting her lips together. She was getting angry. 

“You don’t understand. This place is my life! I’ve given everything to it! And David? What does he do but fuck it all up?” 

Dani remained calm. “Stand at attention, soldier.” Exercising her authority was not something she enjoyed doing too much, but another question and Vanda might snap. Dani needed control. 

Vanda stood, straight and stiff, staring at the wall behind Dani. 

Captain Ramos rose from her chair. She could feel her whole body beginning to tremble as adrenaline coursed her veins. She stepped right next to Vanda, close enough to smell the woman’s skin. Dani was terrified. 

“I’m going to say this to you once, Private. This base is for the good of everyone here. There are 125 HUMAN souls inside these walls, including yours. Do you really believe that division among the population is going to help when the machines march on this place? Do you think that they will give a single, solitary SHIT what you think of David’s leadership??” Dani hissed through her teeth. Spittle flew from her mouth onto Vanda’s cheek. Vanda did not flinch. “The only thing those fucking machines will care about are dead bodies. And if David does not have FULL support of everyone here, those dead bodies will be on YOUR hands! Do you understand me, Private?!” Dani was yelling now. 

Vanda yelled back like she had just graduated basic training. “Yes, Captain!” 

Dani took one step away from her and lowered her voice to barely above a whisper, but with every bit of confidence she could muster. “If you don’t like how he is running things, and you believe you can do so much better, pack your shit and leave. Go start your own base. The Resistance won’t tolerate subversion! There is a name for what you are suggesting, Private. It’s called mutiny. Do you know what we do with soldiers who commit mutiny? Before you answer that, might I remind you, Vanda, that you are a soldier for the Resistance? Your name is registered. But then again,” Dani turned and walked back behind the desk, “if you leave your post here, that is considered desertion. Do you know what the Resistance does to deserters?” Dani plopped down in the office chair, completely pleased with the performance. 

“Yes... Yes, ma’am. I do.” Vanda was defeated. 

“Ok, then I would suggest you knock off this candy-ass operation you’re running on the side. I am ordering you to realign your priorities with the fucking reason we are all here. Do you get that?” 

“I get it, ma’am!” Vanda threw her voice against the wall, showing Dani that she had been trained to respect authority. 

“If we have to meet again like this, I promise you that I will throw you to the machines myself. Dismissed, Private.” 

Vanda did an about face, opened the door, and walked out, shutting the door gently behind her. 

Dani breathed out, as if she had been a balloon that was suddenly pricked with a needle. She dropped her shoulders and put her hands flat on the desk. They were shaking uncontrollably. Her heart was pounding, threatening to leap out of her chest. Dani had never done anything that strong in her whole life. She had just reprimanded a soldier for high crimes against the Resistance. 

Captain Ramos was now a force to be reckoned with. She would, indeed, become Commander Ramos with the Western Militia.

Dani stood up, straightened her clothes, wishing she had her official uniform today. She thought perhaps some fatigues would suit her today. She held her head high and opened David's office door. The bay was eerily silent as she walked in. Everyone was staring at her. She stopped and looked around the room. No one moved. They all just watched her. That's when David stood up. And Grace stood up. And the rest of her unit stood up. Pretty soon, everyone was standing at attention for Captain Ramos. Dani swallowed the lump in her throat, and tried to still her shaking body. Everyone there had heard her in the office with Vanda. Even if David lacked the respect from everyone, Dani certainly had it. 

"As you were." Captain Ramos spun on her heel and went back to the office. She really thought she might faint and needed to sit down.


	9. Transportation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "So kiss me and smile for me  
> Tell me that you'll wait for me  
> Hold me like you'll never let me go  
> 'Cause I'm leavin' on a jet plane  
> Don't know when I'll be back again  
> Oh babe, I hate to go"
> 
> -Cass Elliot and John Denver

Dani worked well into the evening in David’s office. The information she was gathering from the quartermaster, ordinance, and personnel suggested that the Carlsbad Militia base was in dire need of men and supplies. Dani tried to consider all the ways they could ship supplies in from Ft. Bliss. Of the 125 people located at the base, only about 35 of them had any military training at all. With the sudden influx of survivors, the base’s sanitation and water supply were suffering. Food was scarce. The post was isolated from the rest of the Western Militia. If the machines did attack this place, Dani thought, help would not arrive any time soon. These people, including Grace, were on their own out here. 

Dani felt her stomach begin to rumble and decided to break away from her work. She had a few ideas to share with David and Grace anyway. She could not deal with something this huge on her own. The entire base would be meeting after dinner, so Dani needed to move quickly. 

She located David in the mess hall. They sat down to eat plates of potatoes, apples, and venison again. Tonight, there was bread. It wasn’t great, but it was filling, and that’s all that really mattered to Dani. She was able to score a cup of coffee too. The water at the base was flavorless since they had to boil it as they went. The filtration system was overloaded and unreliable. Grace snuck in during the meal and rested next to Dani on the picnic table bench in the crowded hall. Dani slipped her hand under the table and squeezed Grace’s knee, to say hello. She felt a heavy boot find its way between her feet and park itself there. Over dinner, the three discussed how the problems were outweighing the practical solutions. 

“So, let me get this straight, Captain,” David mulled it over carefully, pushing his potatoes across his plate. He’d clearly eaten them too many times. “You are suggesting that this place won’t hold up under an attack.” 

“Or a siege. If the machines come, or anyone else in large numbers, they can wait you out and it won’t take long.” Dani tried to explain that Carlsbad base was not a stronghold anymore. She explained the geographic separation and how low the supplies were. Grace already seemed to know most of this. “David, what types of vehicles do you have for transport?” So far, Dani had only seen two personnel trucks from before the war. 

“We have the two big diesels out back. There are two civilian pickup trucks, and one MEV.” David did a quick scan of the room, as he started to understand what Dani might be suggesting. “It wouldn’t be enough. We need more vehicles.” David was practical, and he was smart. 

“Grace, we need to go back to the water tower.” Dani said as she rested her foot on top of Grace’s boot. Grace chewed and nodded. She knew what was at stake here too. 

“You want the skinners’ trucks.” Grace shook her head. “Go get them yourselves. I refuse.” 

“Harper, you know we need them.” David argued. He pushed his plate forward, offering his potatoes to Grace and Dani. Neither woman took him up on it. Dani looked at Grace, not quite understanding what was happening with the blonde. 

“I’m not doing it. Court martial me, David.” Grace spun around on the bench and stormed off. Dani let her go. 

Dani looked back at David, hoping for some clear explanation about Grace’s behavior. He offered nothing at first. “David, what the fuck just happened? Why won’t she go back?” 

“Grace has a history with skinners. It happened a long time ago when she first started going out with her team.” Dani waited impatiently for the answer. “It was about three years ago. Her team ran into a gang of cannibals out near where they found you. That’s a pretty popular trap area when the unsuspecting go looking for water. Anyway, Grace’s outfit ran into about 20 of them in a convoy. They had stopped for the night, and they had ‘supplies’ with them. Mostly old people and kids, chained together. Some of them were missing limbs. It was just gross, really. When the soldiers moved on them, the cannibals started their whole ‘scorched earth’ tactic, killing off every single person on the chain.” 

Dani was horrified. Experiencing something like that would certainly make a person hate cannibal convoys. Dani nodded her head, making it clear she understood. 

“Dani, Grace had been looking for her little brother. He had been taken from her one night by a group of skinners." Dani felt sick. She never knew what had happened to the little boy. She did not even know his name. When she found Grace that day, Grace was alone. “Grace knows he’s dead, but she still looks for him every time she goes out.” 

Dani was physically ill. It explained so much. Dani just nodded and decided to go spend some time alone with Grace. Maybe she could get her to talk about it. Probably not, but maybe she could convince her to go salvage the trucks. “Ok, David. You know, our best option is to move these people out of here. We have to abandon this post. Going to Ft. Bliss is the best chance everyone has to survive.” 

“Yeah, I know. Good luck with Grace.” David stood and took his plate to the kitchen. 

Dani sipped her coffee, carefully contemplating how she would even start this discussion with Grace. She was sure to have put her emotional wall back up, and Dani would have to work all over again to get inside it. 

Grace went back to her room. She sat at the little corner table; her fists balled up. She could not believe they were asking her to do this. She did not want anything skinners had to offer. She knew she was being stubborn. They were just trucks, after all. And if she was right, Dani planned on evacuating the entire base somewhere safer. Grace knew it was a solid idea, instead of just letting everyone die slowly with no help. She just did not want to reopen that wound. Grace cradled her head in her hands, rubbing her temples. She was starting to get a headache. She admitted to herself that she should have had a cup of coffee. 

Dani knocked on Grace’s door a few minutes later. The door swung open. Grace looked like hell. She did not look like she’d been crying, but her features were drawn. She was not happy to see Dani, but invited her in anyway. “David told you?” 

“Yeah. He told me. I’m sorry, Grace. I’m sorry that happened to you.” Dani did not know what else to offer Grace right now. 

Grace looked away from Dani, out the window of her tiny room. Dani wanted to reach out to her, to touch her, letting Grace know Dani was on her side. “You could just order me to go, you know. You outrank everyone here.” Grace’s attitude was hard. Dani found herself at a loss as to how to compete with that. 

“I could, but I don’t want it to come to that. I just want you to understand how important those vehicles are. Your team is highly trained... fast. You can get there and back in two days, without me slowing you down. 

“Yeah,” Grace scoffed, “if we don’t run into any problems along the way.” Dani waited for Grace to process the request. It seemed like hours passed. Dani shifted from one foot to another, growing impatient. The assembly would be gathering soon and they needed her there. And she needed Grace’s help. 

“I hate to play this card, Grace, but you promised me your support.” 

“That was before.” Grace wrapped her arms around her chest, trying to protect herself from the truth. 

Dani took a step toward the blonde, barely grazing her back through her fatigue shirt. She whispered, “We need your help. I need your help, Grace.” 

Grace turned slowly and stared down at Dani. She was cornered. “Alright. I’ll gather my team and we’ll leave tonight.” Grace had a hell of a poker face. Dani could not tell if she was angry or sad or ready to explode. Grace moved past her, opened the door and invited Dani to leave. 

“I know this is hard for you. I would not ask you if it wasn’t important.” Dani was trying, but Grace would not wear it. She just nodded and shut Dani out. 

Captain Ramos had her answer, like it or not. She made her way back to the main building to meet up with David and everyone else. 

When Dani walked into the open bay, it looked as if everyone was already there waiting. Every face in the room turned to see her. For someone who was only 5’1” tall, one would think Dani was a giant. She immediately had all the attention. She straightened herself and began her address. It had changed in light of new information. Dani was prepared to talk about the Resistance, the cause, humanity, and the need to keep fighting. All she said tonight was, 

“Thank you all for being here. I have gone over all the available information with David and Lt. Harper. What we have decided, after thorough deliberation, is that we all must leave here. Supplies are running out. Fortifications cannot be handled from here. This place is falling apart. You are all on your own out here if something happens. The military forces registered with the Resistance will be pulling out for Ft. Bliss in 72 hours. If you and your loved ones are not part of the military operation, you can register tonight. Training, housing, food, will all be provided for you at the main post. This is your chance to fight the machines. You can help us take back this world and make it our own again. I cannot force civilians to do anything. This has to be your choice. But the military aspect of this base will be bugging out. If you choose to register with the Resistance, there is no going back. We need every person we can get to help fight these fucking machines. We deserve to live. We did not ask for this. We did not want it. And I'll be goddamned if I let Legion take anything else from me!” 

Dani caught sight of the tall, blonde figure by the bay doors. “Leaving here is not running away. We need to reposition ourselves with the best tactical advantage. Right now, the Carlsbad Militia base is a liability. The Resistance... I... don’t want to lose anyone else. All I can ask of you all is to stand and fight with me, even if that means we have to …" Dani carefully considered her next words, “hide ourselves at the bottom of a mine shaft. We have to get out of here, people. We will take as many of you with us in the first trip. This will take more than one run to complete. But we start in three days. You have until then to decide. This is not the message of hope I was planning to inspire everyone with. These are the facts of the matter. The truth is, this is scary. I am afraid just like everyone else in this room. But this is the best plan we have right now.” 

Dani turned to David who nodded. “This is it, people. This is the way things are now. You can register up here to fight with Commander Ramos and the Resistance. Bleed for your families. Die for your species.” David was not one for inspirational speeches either, Dani realized. But he was in charge here and had to make an attempt. 

Dani walked out of the bay after Grace. “Grace! Wait.” Grace kept walking. Dani stopped and watch her take long strides away from her. Dani clicked her tongue three times. Grace stopped. She kept her back to Dani, but she stopped. Dani closed the distance between them quickly. She stood beside Grace, trying to see what the blonde was looking at in the distance. She slipped her hand into Grace’s and felt the soldier tangle their fingers together. “Do you think this will work?” 

Grace sighed. “It’s our best bet. It has to work.” She turned to look down at Dani, regarding her silently. “It has to. I’m going to get my team ready. I’ll see you soon.” Grace squeezed Dani’s fingers and let go of her hand. She took a step forward, but Dani’s hand was on her arm, pulling her back. She swung around and blocked Grace’s path. Dani reached up and put her hands on Grace’s face, holding the blonde’s gaze. 

“Stay with me tonight. You can leave in the morning.” Dani stretched upward to pull Grace into a kiss. Grace held her ground though, denying Dani any access to her. 

“I’ll be back in two days, Commander.” 

“I’m not the commander.” 

“Well, you just made me a Lieutenant, what’s the difference?” 

“The difference is, I can promote you.” Dani dropped back on her heels, prepared for Grace to walk away. She did not like this sudden distance from Grace. Not one bit. But she let her go, nonetheless. Watching Grace walk away from her was never easy. She never knew if she’d see her again. That was just the way the world worked now. 

Back in her own room, Dani laid down on the bed, on her back. She stared up at the ceiling, wondering if they were doing the right thing. Fort Bliss had refugees come in all the time. She knew the base could handle 125 people, give or take a few losses along the way. It was a matter of practicality. It was a matter of survival. And she knew she was doing the right thing. It just did not feel like it. Sarah had once said, “Heavy is the head that wears the crown.” That was no shit. 

She must have fallen asleep. The room was completely dark when the knock at her door startled her awake. She opened the door to find Grace. She was wearing her battle fatigues, boots, and boonie hat. She leaned her pack against the frame of the door. “Hi, Dani. We’re about to head out. I just didn’t want to leave you like that. It would not have been right. If I never see you again, I don’t want your last memory of me to be that one.” 

Dani reached for Grace and pulled her inside and slammed the door, knocking Grace’s pack into the hall. Dani pulled the hat from Grace’s head, freeing the long blonde locks. Their kisses were hot enough to melt Legion hardware. Dani’s hands shook as she fumbled with Grace’s fatigue shirt. She yanked it out of the trousers, and ran both hands up inside of it, grabbing skin along the way before claiming Grace’s breasts with authority. Grace unbuttoned Dani’s pants quickly and pulled them down to her knees. They did not have much time. “Lay down.” Dani nearly fell backward onto the bed, kicking her pants and underwear off. Grace unbuttoned her fly and pushed her pants down around her lower thighs. She was rock hard already. She held her shaft in her hand and lowered herself down on top of Dani. She pushed herself between willing legs. Grace stopped to run her fingers over Dani’s slit, making sure she was wet first. Grace put two fingers into her mouth and reached down to help Dani get ready. This was unlike her. Grace took what she wanted. But this was not how she wanted Dani. 

“Grace, now.” Grace felt her cock throb at the command. She leaned in, and slowly pushed herself inside Dani’s tight entrance. She felt resistance at first, but then Dani flooded her shaft. Grace groaned loudly at the sensation, leaned down and kissed Dani’s mouth hard. Dani moaned and thrust her hips up into Grace’s. The soldier began to fuck her hard and fast, creating a completely different memory for Dani to hang on to. Dani continued kissing Grace as she pumped her hips hard against the brunette. She unbuttoned Grace’s shirt, reclaiming the pert breasts beneath. She pinched Grace’s nipples, causing the blonde to cry out and fuck her even harder and deeper. Dani pushed Grace back and made her look at her. “Slow down. They can wait.” 

Grace was breathless. “Is that an order?” She slowed herself to a more manageable pace. Dani felt so good. Grace would not last long either way. 

“No, Grace.” Dani pulled her back down, pressing their mouths together again. Grace continued moving slower. The pleasurable sensation only heightened when she slowed down. Grace could now feel every inch of Dani around her shaft. Dani could feel the head of Grace’s cock dragging and pushing inside her. She could feel every vein and every throb. “That’s better, isn’t it?” Dani knew Grace was enjoying it. Dani loved the way Grace could exert control over her body in such a heated encounter. Grace nodded, and groaned as Dani reached back and grabbed her ass, holding her tighter against Dani’s body. 

“Fuck, Dani. I’m gonna come.” Grace was throbbing painfully inside Dani now. She had tried to hold off as long as she could, but her new lover felt way too good right now. 

Dani was nowhere close to coming, but it wasn’t about her. She was claiming Grace as her own. “Come for me, Grace. I want to feel you.” Grace slammed herself down hard into Dani’s wetness. Dani felt absolutely filled by the young woman’s huge cock inside her. Grace pulled Dani up, slid her arms around the brunette and held her tightly as she began to shiver and shudder. Grace unloaded everything she had in her into Dani. “I’m yours, Grace. I’m all yours.” Grace kept pumping in and out until she had nothing left to give. “And you’re mine, Grace.” The blonde nodded, panting hard. 

“I’m yours, Dani.” She held Dani, covering her mouth in soft kisses. She did not want to have to leave her. Dani did not want Grace to go. Time was up, though. Grace softened and pulled out reluctantly. Dani gasped at the sensation of Grace leaving her. She suddenly felt empty. She sat up on the edge of the bed as Grace stood and readjusted herself and her clothes. 

“I really have to go, Dani. I’m so sorry.” 

“I’m not.” Dani grinned. She’d feel Grace’s ghost all over her for days. “Take all of that with you.” Once she was squared away, Grace slicked her hair back with her hand, put her hat on, and bent to kiss Dani one more time. 

“Two days.” And just like that, Lieutenant Harper was on a new mission for the Resistance. 

Dani changed her clothes alone in her room. She put on sweatpants and a long-sleeved thermal shirt. There was a soft knock at the door just then. Dani wondered if Grace had decided to come back for more. She could only hope. But it was David. A grin was plastered on his face. 

“What?” 

“Guess how many signatures we got tonight? Just guess!” Dani had never seen David this excited about anything. 

“I don’t know. How many?” She was too tired for guessing games. 

“Every... single... one.”


	10. Ego

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "When I think of heaven  
> Deliver me in a black-winged bird  
> I think of flying down into a sea of pens and feathers  
> And all other instruments of faith and sex and God  
> In the belly of a black-winged bird.  
> Don't try to feed me  
> I've been here before  
> And I deserve a little more.  
> I belong in the service of the Queen  
> I belong anywhere but in between  
> She's been crying and I've been thinking  
> And I am the Rain King."
> 
> -Counting Crows

The Carlsbad Rangers reached the water tower within a day. The scene remained untouched since Grace’s team had taken out the cannibals. Three trucks were still parked haphazardly on the road leading to the dilapidated tower. Five bodies lay, bloated and stinking, in the tall grass. There had not been any sign of scavenger activity in the way of humans or animals. 

Grace was the last to the scene, as her position in the formation dictated. She smelled them before she saw them. She tried her best not to look at the five dead men. She knew she had killed at least one of them. She had taken out the first one. That was when her team opened fire and knocked down the rest. Grace never liked cutting down human beings. She believed that most people were good and were just trying to exist in this hellscape. Cannibals, however, were different. Consuming human flesh changed them into something entirely different. They weren’t human anymore. They had tapped into a vein that would never allow them to come back to normal society. Cannibalism had transformed these men into monsters. Grace could not abide that. At least, that was what she told herself whenever she had to kill someone like that. 

The team checked every vehicle, and they were happy to find that they started and ran. The last one was low on fuel, and there was not any extra. It may or may not make it back to the base. Grace searched the area thoroughly for anything that would be of value. She took knives off the bodies, a gun, and a machete. She could only imagine what horrific ways those blades had been used. She did not even want to touch them, but she also knew they would be valuable. The trucks were full of old camping equipment. The team decided to unload most of it, since the trucks would be carrying people instead. Grace found the M16 that Dani had dropped that night. She checked the magazine. Dani had been locked and loaded. Imagining Dani as a stone-cold killer made Grace smile. She admired the woman’s strength to do what needed to be done. The way she handled Vanda was a great example. Grace had not heard everything Dani yelled about in that office. But she definitely heard Vanda’s reaction to Dani’s authority. Grace shouldered the rifle and scanned the area for anything abnormal. 

The day was coming to a quick close. The team drove the trucks back to the embankment they had recently camped at. They set up there for the night. After a simple dinner of MRE’s, Grace took first watch. She climbed up the hill and took a position near where the highway had collapsed. The half moon was high, providing just enough light to make everything look like it could be moving. Grace was alert and ready for anything. She let her thoughts wander back to her last meeting with Dani. The urgency between them struck Grace right in her chest. She could not help but think of Dani’s hands on her and vice versa. Grace had never been told to slow down. The women Grace had known had been submissive and meek for the most part. Grace had chosen women like that so she could protect herself emotionally. She always believed you had to have the upper hand in the situation or you would lose yourself to this fucked up world. Dani was different though. She made Grace slow down and consider her as a partner rather than another bitch to be had. Grace felt the twinge of shame sting her heart when she thought of women that way now. Things were changing in Grace; evolving. Dani made Grace breathe hard and tremble, but not because of any physical pleasure. It was because of Dani’s power. And Grace felt that power every time she was in the room with her. Even now, on this hill, many miles away, she could feel Dani. It scared Grace and also made her yearn for the company of the commander. 

Grace had only been 12 years old when her brother was kidnapped. Grace did not like thinking about it, but it was inevitable every time she was exposed to skinners. Her brother was all she had in the world. Everything... everything had been ripped from her. She and her brother ran together. They found food and shelter together. Grace took care of him. He was only nine fucking years old, she thought. Grace slammed her eyes shut, trying not to think about it. Her mind forced its way through the next tumultuous few weeks without her brother. She had absolutely no one left. Grace had never felt alone in her life. She was terrified beyond belief. No 12 year old should ever have to consider taking the easy way out. It consumed Grace. Why had she been left alive when the rest of her family were gone? She recalled all the nights, cold and alone, hiding in some gutted building, hoping her brother would just show back up. The night the cannibal crew came for them, Grace had run away. She was so scared that she wet her pants while crouching behind an abandoned Honda Civic. She could hear her brother crying and begging. She heard him scream, but she couldn’t find the strength to save him. And then they were gone. He was gone. Grace spent the next few months looking for him. Every night, she would rock herself to sleep, willing him to appear. Every night was the same. Every night she was alone. She had tried cutting her wrist once, hoping to end the whole problem. She bled everywhere. The sight of her own blood oozing from her body scared Grace so badly that she could not cope. She watched the flow for a moment only before wrapping herself up in a dirty handkerchief. Grace sat near the small pool of blood on the concrete for hours, examining the idea of how fragile her life was. She was not sure if she ever really wanted to die. She just wanted the madness to stop. She wanted to be with her family, and she knew in her heart that they were all dead. Young Grace was brought up to believe that dead loved ones were waiting in heaven for the living. The night her brother disappeared; Grace did not think that was true anymore. Why would a loving God leave a little girl to fend for herself like that? 

Grace sat up straight and pulled the pistol from its holster. She cradled the 9mm in her hands, just feeling its weight. The Glock 19 was one of those tactical handguns she had seen in movies, like the ones that cops used. It was black with a comfortable grip. If anything, it was too small for her hand, but she liked it anyway. She'd had it since she was younger. She often came back to this moment. It would be quick and painless. It would all be over in a matter of seconds. She cursed herself for never having the balls to follow through. Grace released the safety and pulled the slide back, chambering a round. Her hands never shook anymore. She had done this so many times, the only thing she felt was anger at herself for being such a chickenshit. Grace lifted the pistol and stared down the barrel. She wrapped her hand around the grip and looped her thumb across the trigger. She closed her eyes and dared herself to do it. One moment of bravery, Harper, she told herself. She lowered the pistol, opened her mouth and bit down on the cold steel. She breathed hard and slipped the barrel beyond her teeth. This was Grace’s kiss of death. She licked the end of the pistol, tasting gunpowder and metal. She felt her thumb pressing tight against the trigger. She closed her eyes tight and began to sob uncontrollably. She lowered the weapon back into her lap and cried for her brother, her mother, her father, and herself. 

Grace still heard him scream sometimes. 

She wasn’t sure how long she sat on the hill by herself until Vanda came to relieve her. The woman was easily ten years older than Grace. Vanda had treated Grace much like an older sister though. She admired Grace’s strength and capabilities as a leader. Age really meant nothing in this world. 

Grace had wondered if Vanda was upset with her for not having her back with Dani yesterday. Apparently, it didn’t matter because Vanda sat down beside Grace and threw an arm over her shoulders. Grace had missed the company of her friend lately. Dani had consumed all of Grace’s attention in the last few days. Vanda did not need an answer or have a ton of conversation. She simply sat with Grace in the moonlight, offering her nothing but her company. Grace liked that Vanda was often silent too. When people share hardships, blood, sweat, and tears, and suffer the same losses, words lose meaning. Presence becomes everything.

“Get some rest, Grace.” It was all Vanda said or needed to say. Grace nodded, stood and holstered her pistol. Vanda had seen this as well. She had sat with Grace like this before. She knew the reasoning for it, and she knew the outcome. There was no need to explain it all away. Soldiers were just fucking broken sometimes. 

Grace made her way to the tent she shared with Vanda. She sat down on her sleeping bag and took off her boots. Grace reached into the inside pocket of her jacket and pulled out the piece of candy Dani had given back to her. She peeled off the wrapper and slipped it into her mouth. The sweet cherry flavor mingled with the acrid taste of gunpowder and regret, soon washing both away. She resisted the urge to bite down and crush the candy. That was always hard for Grace. Patience was not one of her virtues. But Dani seemed to want to teach her that. Dani was showing her to how to find another way through this life. She remembered hearing the words “Slow down. They can wait.” At the moment, of course, Dani was referring to their rapid-fire sex, and her team could afford to wait an extra few minutes. In this moment, Grace heard Dani’s caring whisper, but assigned new meaning to the words she had said. “Slow down.... you are needed here. They can wait... your family will be waiting.” Grace found comfort in that, realizing that fate had given her something else to hold on to if she was willing to accept it. 

Grace laid down on her bedroll and willed herself into a dreamless sleep.


	11. Ambush

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I can't remember anything  
> Can't tell if this is true or dream  
> Deep down inside I feel to scream  
> This terrible silence stops me  
> Now that the war is through with me  
> I'm waking up, I cannot see  
> That there is not much left of me  
> Nothing is real but pain now."
> 
> -Metallica

Grace heard the machines before she could register the chaos of the camp. Something big was flying overhead. It could only have been an HK. She snapped up, put her boots on with shaky fingers, grabbed her rifle and stepped outside the tent. The others were doing the same. Vanda had seen the machine coming and ran to alert everyone. Grace scanned the sky to watch the black machine swoop over them and back again. The flying machine was a transport for the Rev-7s. There would be blood tonight, Grace thought. 

The soldiers took only weapons and mounted the trucks. Grace took the lead, driving the old Ford F250. It was sluggish. The weight of the added siding was slowing it down. Grace felt like she was in a nightmare. The top of the cab held a mounted mini-gun. It was probably stolen from a military helicopter. The 50-caliber machine gun was manned by Henry, a sergeant who took flank positions. He was also a weapons expert. He aimed and opened fire on the HK as it made another pass. The bullets bounced off making no impact whatsoever. 

“Don’t waste it!” Grace yelled out the window. She cranked the wheel, hit the gas, and peeled out around the overpass, grinding the truck up the hill onto the stretch of highway. Vanda was behind her in the old Chevy S10 Blazer. There was no mounted gun, but it was fast. She rode Grace’s ass the whole way. The third truck, the Toyota, held the rest of Grace’s team. Unfortunately, it was also low on fuel. Grace floored the accelerator and hoped they’d make it. In the chaos of the moment, they had not thought about how to load up. Everything was assholes and elbows, Grace realized. 

A second HK zoomed overhead, larger than the first one. The engines reminded Grace of the drones people could buy online and fly through the neighborhoods. The engines sounded like giant fans, propelling the black metal monster ever forward, faster than the trucks would take them. Grace watched in horror as the second HK dropped from the sky onto the road in front of her. She started to slow down, but Vanda did not get the message and slammed into the back of the Ford. 

“Fuck!” Grace yelled. She checked the rearview mirror to see if Vanda was ok. The older woman behind her signaled that she was ok. Henry had been thrown forward into the gun. He yelled out when he impacted the handle. “Are you ok, Henry?” Grace yelled out the window. 

“Yeah, but we’re about to get fucked.” He replied. She knew he was right. When the HK landed, a group of deadly looking creatures dismounted. They were precisely as described: a human mated with a machine mated with an octopus mated with a knife. And what was worse was that the four machines in front of them suddenly divided like a cell. Now there were eight of them. Grace suddenly thought of science class, learning about cell division in animals. These were not animals though. There was some kind of poly-mimetic alloy covering the metal endoskeletons of the Revs. These must have been the Rev-7s, she realized. Fear was eating her from the inside out. They would not stand a chance against these things with one minigun and a handful of assault rifles. There was just no fucking way. 

Then they started marching forward. Their only option, Grace knew, was to ram them and charge through. “Henry! Get everyone in with Vanda! NOW!” She felt Henry’s weight leave the bed of the truck, and heard him yelling. The machines marched closer, not wasting one bit of time. Grace felt just like she did that day when the skinners came for her brother. She had never felt fear like this since that night. She was indeed, pissing in her pants. 

Henry mounted the truck again and manned the gun. He slapped the top of the cab to signal Grace. She threw it in drive and floored it. The first machine she hit was the liquid exoskeleton. Had it been organic material, it would have splattered. This thing, however, just went under the wheels like a big deer. She felt the thump and bump of the truck as she ran it over. In the rear mirror, she watched as it stood back up, four liquid metal tentacles swinging out toward the S10. Vanda plowed right into it, taking a hit to the radiator. One metal arm went right through the windshield, nearly staving her head in. She kept moving forward, slamming the machine to the side. One headlight went out. Grace pushed the big truck toward the oncoming monsters. This was a fucking nightmare. Henry began firing on them, sweeping the gun back and forth across the line of machines. Every fourth bullet was a tracer, so Grace was able to see how he was aiming. Center mass. Good work, Henry, she thought. The gun was not having much impact, though the machines were being knocked back. But they were so fast, Grace did not have time to see what they were doing. They split into factions on either side of the vehicles, essentially clearing a path. Grace closed her eyes for just a moment, praying to whatever that they would make it through. The metal siding on the trucks, though making them slower, was a godsend. The machines ran alongside the truck, slapping away with those 8-foot spears. Grace could feel every impact against the truck. She heard Henry yelp one time. He was still standing there though, firing at every moving thing. She could hear the truck’s frame peeling back as it took hit after hit. Vanda took aim at a machine with the truck and knocked it into the others, effectively sending them flying into the ditch beside the road. The HKs were no use other than as transports. However, Legion had another use for them in this moment. They both flew high into the sky, so far that Grace could not see where they went because of the limitations of the truck’s cab. But she could still hear that whirring noise of the mechanical engines. It grew closer and closer. They were going to fucking kamikaze dive them. This might very well be the end. 

“Henry?!!” She yelled. He was her eyes outside. 

“HARPER!!!! STOP!!!!” He screamed. Grace slammed the on the break and the emergency brake at the same time. She braced for the ongoing forward momentum of the vehicle. It slid to the side, and she thought they would roll. The Revs were right with them until Grace stopped suddenly. Then they were back in front of the team. Fuck. The explosion was blinding. The shockwave broke out the windshield of the truck, throwing glass and dirt and rocks right into Grace’s face. She closed her eyes as the second HK acted as another bomb, exploding right in front of them. Grace felt the fire burning her skin. She could not see. Henry was ripping open the driver’s side door, pushing her over. He took the wheel, floored the accelerator, and swerved around the cratered HKs. Both Legion transport vehicles had landed on the Revs. Most of the hardware was crushed and blown up on impact. The front of the Ford had been ripped apart by the explosion, but they were alive. Henry was bleeding from his thigh where a Rev had run him through. Grace blinked and blinked again, trying to regain her sight. Her eyes felt like they were full of gravel. She blindly reached for her canteen, pouring water into her eyes, washing away the dirt and blood. 

“Henry?” She looked over at him. 

“You’re bleeding, Grace. From your forehead and your jaw. Your side.” But Grace could barely hear him. The explosions had deafened her. Her vision was blurry. Her eyes burned. She could feel sweat and blood running down her forehead into her eyes. She reached up and ripped her shirt sleeve down, but she could not manage to pull it off. Henry reached across and helped her make it happen. She wadded the sleeve up and pressed it to her forehead. With her free hand, she reached up to her jaw. She recoiled at the gaping hole there. Her fingers were covered in blood. Head wounds bleed a lot, Harper, she told herself. She would live. She turned around to see if Vanda was still there. The S10 was lagging behind them, steam from the radiator was billowing out. 

“Stop, Henry. They need a ride.” Grace croaked. She could feel blood trickling down her neck into her shirt. She lifted the wadded cloth from her forehead and pressed it to her jaw. The remaining soldiers piled in to the back of the truck, and Vanda manned the gun. The demolished Rev-7s and the two exploded HK’s were well behind them now. “Jesus Christ. What a clusterfuck!” Grace was now really mad. And her pants were wet. She ignored it. It would not have been the first time a soldier let go in the face of death. Grace turned back around and counted heads. They were missing one: Corporal Nelson was gone. There was no time to ask. They had to get back to the base. With one truck. One broken truck and a missing man. Mission accomplished, Grace thought. 

She was starting to come down. Her body was beginning to exhibit shock symptoms. She was cold and dizzy. She looked over at Henry, who was clutching the inside of his thigh. A steady stream of red was oozing from between his fingers. Grace used the bloody sleeve of her shirt and pressed her hand tightly against his leg. He put his hand over hers to increase the pressure. “My eye, Henry.” She mumbled. Henry looked across at her. 

“You’ve got a big piece of glass in it. Don’t touch it.” Henry was their field medic. He’d have been able to help her if he wasn’t driving and he wasn’t bleeding so badly. “You need to close both eyes... or something. Don’t move them. It’ll only damage your eye that much more. Grace, your side. Fix that first.” Grace started to strip off her fatigue shirt. She bit the material with her teeth, enough to start a rip. She pulled it apart up the back to the collar and managed to get a long strip of cloth from it. She used the strip as a makeshift bandage, pressing it against her side which felt torn open. “We’re about 20 miles out. We just gotta hang in there, Harper.” Henry’s voice had lost all its bravado. Grace knew he was in pain. She put her hand back over his to help staunch the bleeding, crossing her right arm over her body to hold her own wound. Vanda scanned the skyline for more incoming HKs, looking back to see if they were being followed. The two remaining soldiers, Privates Ruiz and Edwards hunkered down, trying to remain out of sight. 

As Grace’s consciousness started to wane, she hoped Henry would be ok. 

She felt herself floating in darkness. She could barely make out the voice. It sounded like it was miles away. “Graaaace. Graaaaace.” It was almost like someone was singing to her. She felt the weight of her body come back to her. Hands were on her shoulders. The voice was right beside her now, but she still could not hear well. “Grace. Don’t open your eyes. We are taking you to the infirmary. Just relax, Grace. We’ve got you.” The voice was familiar. The hand on hers was soft and comforting. 

“Dani?” The hand on hers tightened. 

“Yes, Grace. I’m here. Just relax. You’re going to be ok.” Grace felt herself being pulled and lifted onto something hard. A backboard? She was so thirsty. 

“Water.” Grace whispered. “My head hurts.” 

“I’ll bet.” Dani’s voice was softer now and shaky. She was still holding Grace’s hand. “We’ll get you some water soon. We have to check your side first. Grace tried to relax, but the pain was starting to rear its ugly head. Her forehead throbbed. Her left eye felt like it had been ripped from the socket. Her jaw ached and burned. Her body was cold. 

“Henry. Help...Henry.” 

“Grace, Henry’s ok. He’s right in front of us.” Dani reassured her, squeezing her hand again. Grace could feel the shift in the air when they went from the outside air to the inside of the infirmary. They set the backboard down on a long table. Grace could hear the medics rushing to help her and Henry. They had both lost a lot of blood. “It’s just a head wound. I’m ok,” Grace argued. 

“Grace, you’ve been stabbed in your left side.” Dani explained. Grace had not even felt it. Dani told her there was a gaping hole in the driver’s side door, presumably where a Rev had punched through at her. 

“She needs blood, now.” One medic ordered. Blood was one thing that was not in great supply, Dani told them. “What’s your blood type, Captain Ramos?” The medic asked as he began cutting Grace’s shirt off. “Yours, Private Vanda?” 

“O Positive.” Dani answered. 

“Same.” Vanda was already rolling up her sleeve. 

“Roll up your sleeve and sit down.” Dani had not time to argue orders or ranks. Grace needed her. Dani sat and rolled up the left sleeve of her shirt. Vanda sat next to Henry, doing the same thing. 

Grace lost consciousness again. The medics created an emergency anastomosis between Dani’s radial artery and Grace’s median cephalic vein near her elbow. It was a direct transfusion. There was no time for testing and filtering. If Grace’s body rejected this, she would most likely die. The hole in her side was bigger than Dani had anticipated, long and gaping like some kind of terrible smile. It was deep. Dani watched Grace’s body drip blood on the floor. 

“Fucking patch her up!!!” Dani was upset. She could not handle the idea of losing Grace. Not now. They were so close to getting to Fort Bliss. They were so close to getting to each other. Dani willed her blood to flow faster into the injured woman beside her. Dani turned and whispered into the blonde’s ear. “Hang on, Grace. Just hang on.” 

Once the medics had transfused enough blood, they disconnected the women. Dani moved her chair back against the wall, refusing to leave in case they needed more blood. She would give Grace everything she had. The medics intubated Grace so a machine could breathe for her. They rolled her on her side and prepped her for emergency surgery. 

“Captain Ramos, you should probably go. This is not going to be pretty. We don’t want it to upset you any further. We have to go in and repair her large intestine and her stomach. That machine tore her up.” 

Dani crossed her arms. “I’m not going anywhere.” 

“Suit yourself, Captain.” The medic turned back to Grace. They unfolded a stretch of white sheet out over Grace’s body. One medic hung a bag of IV fluids on a rack beside the blonde’s head and began a line into Grace’s arm. They began monitoring her breathing and her heart with antiquated equipment. The whole infirmary was inadequate, and the medics were doing the best they could. A doctor moved a single overhead light to illuminate the huge hole in Grace’s side. He began to work. 

A nurse in black fatigues stepped beside Dani. “Captain Ramos, if you’ll come with me, we’re going to need more blood.” Dani relented. That would be the only reason she would leave Grace right now. She stood up, feeling dizzy immediately. She reached out for the nurse, steadying herself. “You ok?” 

Dani nodded and allowed herself to be led away. 

She met David in the hallway. “I can’t go in there. I just...” David was shaken. He obviously did not know how to help right now.” 

“Get someone to Bliss. We need transport out of here today! Trucks, choppers. Tell them to send it all!” David stared at Dani, processing the order. “Now, David!” He nodded fiercely and ran. 

David did not know who he could send that would get there fast enough. He knew he could do it. He did not stop running until he reached the old pickup at the end of the vehicle lot. He started the engine of the old Tundra and made out for the southwest.


	12. Touchdown

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "There must be some kind of way outta here  
> Said the joker to the thief  
> There's too much confusion  
> I can't get no relief."
> 
> -Jimi Hendrix

Grace’s team had rolled in around 6am, just after sunrise. The attack on them had been devastating. What was once a simple run to get vehicles had turned into a gory highway chase. Two team members had been severely injured. One team member had been lost entirely. Dani debriefed with Vanda, Edwards, and Ruiz to count the cost. No one remembered when they lost Corporal Nelson. Vanda could not even be sure he was with them at all when they left the camp. Everything was chaos. They were just driving. Running. Dani understood that, though the loss of life was significant. Any life lost, in Dani’s opinion, was too much. 

The run to Fort Bliss would take less than three hours. Grace was still in surgery. Dani made her way to the mess hall for coffee. Instant coffee was never her favorite, but she just wanted the caffeine. She also needed to eat. The infirmary had pulled two pints of blood from her. She was feeling wiped out. She ordered a simple meal of bread and apples and coffee. She wished there had been some juice. There was never juice. She sat alone in the mess and picked at the food. She had to force herself to eat anything. Her mind was preoccupied with Grace and getting the hell out of there. 

Dani had stopped by David’s office to ask him to start rounding people up to prepare, but he was nowhere around. Instead, Dani opted for getting the quartermaster to do it. There was a P.A. system on the base, but it would blare loudly outside too. She did not want to give the machines any more clues to their whereabouts. It was bad enough that Grace’s outfit had been attacked so close to the post. More machines were certain to come. The rangers had asked her why Legion destroyed its own machines in the ambush. Dani believed that Legion did not care about losses the way humans do. Legion would annihilate itself in the process of taking down humanity. It was that simple. 

Dani went back to the infirmary. She had nothing else to do until Grace woke up. She would not sleep. She did not need to pack anything. Her pack laid beside her bed this whole time, ready to go. She would get it on her way back to the infirmary. She decided that these people here would not take anything with them but personal belongings. This was an exodus. It was an evacuation. There was no longer time to get ready. If help arrived when she figured, they would all be out of there within the next 5 hours. 

Grace was out of surgery. It had taken them two hours to repair everything. It was probably a quick job, like at and old MASH unit. They’d do just enough to keep her alive until she could have more delicate surgeries somewhere better. Fort Bliss had an excellent hospital with the finest doctors left among the human race. Grace just needed to hang on. Dani entered the post-op area. Two beds were set up, divided by a single white curtain. Henry lay in one bed, awake and eating something. Grace was still out, but at least she was breathing on her own. Dani waved to Henry. He looked up at her and smiled. In a soft, poorly executed British accent, he joked, “it’s just a flesh wound.” Dani recognized the line from somewhere, but could not remember. She smiled back at him and moved toward Grace. 

The blonde was laying on her back. She was naked underneath a wool blanket. There was an IV line running from her arm. They had transfused Dani’s blood to her a second time after the operation was complete. The doctor came by to meet with Dani after a few moments of her standing there watching Grace sleep. 

“She’ll be ok, we think. The cuts on her forehead and jaw have been stitched shut. They won’t be a problem, other than maybe scarring. We were able to remove the shard of glass from her left eye. We don’t know if she’ll be able to see after this. We will just have to wait until she’s awake. That machine just sliced right through her. The cut was clean, though. It wasn’t hard to sew back together. We worry more about infection at this point. It’s a good thing Legion doesn’t use poison tips on those things.” 

“Shut your mouth! Are you trying to tempt fate? By the looks of it, we just got our asses handed to us. Let’s not make it worse.” Dani was pissed off, more at the machines than anything else. The doctor, a first sergeant, just nodded. 

“I’m sorry, Captain Ramos. You are 100% right. We shot her up with some antibiotics. She will need to be transported to Fort Bliss as soon as you can get her there.” 

“That’s the plan.” Dani did not offer more conversation. She had all the information she needed. And the woman she was falling in love with all over again was helpless and broken. Dani dismissed the doctor and took the steps forward toward Grace. 

“Grace,” she whispered. “I’m here. I won’t leave you again.” Dani knew that Grace probably could not hear her right now. She pulled a metal chair over to the bedside. Grace’s forehead was not bandaged. It was stitched clean though. Her jaw was covered in a large white piece of gauze. That cut was worse. There was a big white patch of gauze taped over her left eye. Her chest was bare, but the wool blanket was pulled up under her arms. Dani reached and pulled the blanket back, tilted her head down and looked at the blonde’s side. It was also covered. Dani tucked her arms underneath the blanket and pulled it up under her chin. She kindly pushed Grace’s hair off her forehead to take a closer look at the cut. It was a straight line creeping down from her hairline. It was no longer than a half inch. Dani took care not to touch it. She realized that Grace needed a haircut. Dani just softly laid her hand on Grace’s naked shoulder. She sat there with the unconscious woman until she lost track of time. 

The doctor had come back to check on Grace and Henry a little while later. Dani was still in the metal chair, her knees pulled up to her chin. She had been asleep for a while. A nurse came and took Grace’s vital signs. She gave Dani a thumbs up before leaving. Dani looked at Grace. Her heart was absolutely aching. All the military power in the world, right at Dani’s disposal, and this happened. Dani had convinced Grace that the trucks were necessary. Dani had manipulated Grace into going. She had exploited a promise Grace made in support of a political matter that ended up being moot. Dani felt like a real piece of shit about the whole situation now. 

Dani moved to the other side of the curtain to address Henry. His name was actually Adam Henry. He was from El Paso. He joined the rangers after they picked him up in the middle of nowhere. They were on a supply run. He was headed to Fort Bliss. He was retired from the U.S. Army when Judgement Day happened. He figured he could be most useful with the Resistance. He registered with them at the Carlsbad outpost and just ended up staying. He liked the Rangers very much, particularly Grace. He wasn’t used to taking orders from someone as young as she was. He described her to Dani as “one of the most courageous women I’ve ever met.” Henry relived the ordeal they had just been through, telling Dani about Grace’s amazing driving skills. He told her that it was Grace that stopped and saved everyone else by having him round them up on the highway. He told her if Grace had not stopped the truck when she did, they’d all have been blown to hell. He admitted that he did not think he would have had such quick reflexes. Dani told him that Grace had been more concerned for him than herself. “Yeah, that’s just how she is.” Henry laughed. 

“Don’t talk about me like I’m not in the room, you assholes.” Grace’s voice was weak from the other side of the curtain. Dani pulled it back to see Grace smirking. “Ah, fuck...” She reached up to carefully touch her jaw. “My face really hurts.” Dani tried not to laugh, but she was overjoyed to see the soldier awake. 

“There’s the old battle axe,” Henry teased. “If it hadn’t been for your shitty driving, I might have a leg to stand on.” Dani knew he was kidding, but wanted to stop the banter. She knew soldiers always jabbed each other. It was how they expressed appreciation to one another. 

“Ok, ok. That’s good. Henry, if you’ll excuse me?” Dani began to pull the curtain forward for some privacy with Grace. 

“Yep. Don’t mind me. I’ll just enjoy my jello. Could someone unmute the TV?” Henry was referring to the unplugged heart monitor in the corner across the room. 

Dani moved back to sit beside Grace. The blonde turned her head to focus her good eye on Dani. “Hi there. I told you I’d be back in two days.” 

Dani tried not to laugh. Grace laughed anyway. The action caused her to jerk violently in the bed. It must have really hurt considering a terminator had just ripped her open. Dani put a hand in the middle of Grace’s chest and murmured soothing words under her breath. Grace brought one hand up out of the blanket to hold Dani’s hand. “I’m sorry. That wasn’t funny. I heard you saved my life, Commander.” 

“Would you please stop calling me that? I’m not the commander.” Dani argued. “And really, Henry saved your life. He drove you all here. Hold on. I’m going to get the doctor. They’re going to want to see you.” 

Grace weakly tightened her grip on Dani’s hand. “Come back.” 

“You won’t even know I’m gone.” Dani smiled at the blonde and went to find the doctor. 

About an hour later, there was a commotion at the outer door of the infirmary. The nurse who had taken Dani’s blood came running in. 

“Captain, we have inbound choppers. From Fort Bliss.” 

Dani turned to look at Grace. Both women were clearly elated. “Grace, we’re going home.” Grace exhaled as deeply as she dared, nodded and closed her eyes. This also meant that Grace would have to be moved. 

“This will be my first flight,” Grace whispered. 

The sound of the helicopters grew loud very quickly. Dani had to leave Grace to go outside and meet the incoming officer in charge. They landed just outside the main gate. Dani knew they did not have much time. Legion quite possibly was already tracking their movements. Legion still owned the skies... for now. Dani would do her damnedest to change that. 

The officer in charge was also a pilot of one of the 2 black Speed Hawk choppers. They were old U.S. Military choppers from the early 2000s. Dani was surprised they still worked. The two helicopters powered down as Major Winston J. Emery walked toward Dani. She snapped to attention and saluted him. 

“Knock that off, Ramos. You trying to get me killed?” Emery stepped up to her and offered her a handshake. Winston Emery was at least 60 years old. He had been in the Air Force since his early twenties. When Judgement Day happened, he was already retired, just like Henry. He ended up back at Fort Bliss with his wife, Penny. Emery had a thick Texas accent and the southern drawl made him pronounce Dani’s last name like “Ray-MOS.” It was quite endearing to her. 

“No sir. I am just really, really happy to see you.” 

“Yeah well, we have one more outfit inbound for you. Are your people ready?” He asked, taking off his aviator sunglasses. He had a long scar running down the side of his face, from his hairline to the middle of his throat. A machine had almost taken his head off last year. Dani was there for that. 

She looked around, seeing people begin to gather with bags and children. Soldiers were ready to bug out at the first command. “It looks like we are getting there. I’ve been in the infirmary with a soldier that was almost killed today. Lt. Grace Harper. She’s second in command here. I don’t know where the leader of this post is. I haven’t seen him since...” 

The twin engine personnel chopper appeared on the horizon. The sound of the engines and the blades were already loud. Dani was impressed that Bliss would send them exactly what she needed. The chopper maneuvered around in the air, looking for a good place to touch down. The twin blades and sizeable craft would need room, away from the rotor blades of the Speed Hawks. The Chinook began idle, the blades spinning low. Two men departed the craft, hunched and running toward the gate. Dani just shook her head and smiled. David. Dani ran to the gate and hugged him. He pulled her into his arms and spun her around once. 

“I didn’t mean that YOU had to go yourself, David!” Dani yelled over the roar of the engines. 

“I know, but it was easier than relaying a message.” He yelled back. 

Dani turned her attention back to Emery. “Sir, I need to get the military personnel out of here first. That includes the injured Lieutenant and a wounded sergeant.” 

“You got it, Ramos. Order them to begin loading up. We’ve got a convoy of carriers headed up the road right now. They’ll be here at about 1430. The rest of your people can get loaded then and we’ll get you all down to the base.” Emery yelled over the engines. “You’ve been out a while. I think you’re going to like what we've done with the place.” 

Dani nodded to him, turned and went to see the quartermaster. He had been in charge of getting everyone ready. She instructed him to have the military personnel load up first, and assure the rest that help was coming. Dani did not think that this was fair to the civilians, but she knew the value of trained soldiers. 

Dani ran back to the infirmary to tell Grace she was going to be moved in the next few minutes. As the words were coming out of her mouth, David and two other civilians came in to help. The doctor and David carried Henry out to the Chinook. The two civilians helped Dani and the nurse secure Grace to another hard backboard. They needed to keep her stable through the flight. Dani walked beside them, holding Grace’s IV bag. 

Once aboard the large carrier, Grace was secured to a bench seat. Dani hung the IV bag on a hook behind the blonde’s head. She pulled the blanket up over Grace where it had fallen away from her naked shoulder. She took a moment to look at Grace, who had just been pumped full of painkillers. Dani reached down and touched the uninjured side of Grace’s face. “I’ll be back.” She said loudly. 

“Why does that sound so familiar?” Grace closed her good eye, feeling to the strong vibration of the helicopter underneath her. 

Dani went back out and made sure every soldier was on board. They had a little more room, so they invited civilians to come aboard. They’d take as many as they could in one shot. Dani met David back at the gate. “We have room for one more!” She yelled. The chopper was starting to power back up for takeoff. 

“I’m staying here till everyone gets out. Godspeed, Dani!” She smiled at him, admiring his loyalty to the people he had given a home to. Dani touched his shoulder, nodded, turned and left. 

The Chinook took off, lifting into the air, engines hot and loud. Dani was finally going back to her post. She knelt beside Grace, and would stay there until they landed again. She held Grace’s hand under the blanket, tucking her arm against the woman’s good side. Grace gently squeezed Dani’s hand in hers. Dani leaned forward and placed a gentle kiss on the blonde’s cheek. 

“Hey, Dani!” Grace was unable to yell. Dani leaned in and put her ear close to the blonde’s lips, straining to hear her. “I found your rifle.” 

Dani pulled back and stared at her. Then she made a mocking face, looking around as if to say, “oh yeah? where is it?” 

Grace gave her that signature grin before falling back into unconsciousness. 

Fort Bliss or bust, Dani thought.


	13. Extremity

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “You wanna antagonize me  
> Antagonize me motherfucker  
> Get in the ring motherfucker  
> And I'll kick your bitchy little ass  
> PUNK!” 
> 
> -Guns N’ Roses

Fort Bliss was huge. It was a city unto itself before the war. It spanned over 1 million acres of land between Texas and New Mexico. It was a testing ground for new military equipment and weapons. The fort was home to a missile defense system. It had been a valuable asset after Judgement Day. It had served as one of the largest training bases in the United States before and after the war began. Legion had performed several tactical strikes against Fort Bliss, leveling buildings and forcing all personnel into a secret underground fortress. Legion had taken out much of the above-ground housing and recreational facilities. To look at it now, Fort Bliss looked like Fort Hell. But it was what was under the surface that really mattered. The underground portion of the base was equal in size to what had been destroyed. 

The whole project had been classified. It began as a subsurface utility project by the Army Corps of Engineers back in the early 1990s. The major portion of it had been erected underneath the Biggs Airfield three miles away. No one knew the extent of the construction until after Legion went rogue. The subterranean base was built to mirror the one above ground. The Department of Defense had virtually unlimited spending after 9/11. It was rumored that soldiers were being trained to fight a new war underground. It had not been far from the truth at all. 

Dani had originally wondered how much the U.S. military knew prior to Judgement Day. How long was Legion out of control before the world’s most powerful armies began to poke it with a stick? All she knew for sure was that none of that mattered once Legion began to get the upper hand on humanity. That was basically day one. The underground facility in the southern desert was a game changer for the Resistance. 

When they landed at Biggs Air Field a half hour later, Grace was still unconscious. The sedatives she had been given were powerful. Dani really had hoped she’d be awake to see where they were. This was not far from where she found Grace years ago. Then again, maybe Grace would not want to remember. A small detail was formed to get Henry and Grace to the hospital. 

Every single Resistance soldier disembarked the Chinook. Dani stepped down from the floor of the chopper, touching the ground. The giant blades whipped around and around over her head. She crouched alongside the rest of the soldiers, watching for the trucks to come and pick them up. The chopper powered down, along with the two Speed Hawks that landed seconds afterward. Dani and the soldiers ducked and ran, clearing the blades. The Carlsbad doctor and one other soldier were carrying Grace toward her. Major Emery emerged from the front end of the vehicle. 

“Ramos, you ready to see what’s really going on?” He asked in his Texas drawl. 

“Yeah. Where are the trucks?” Dani asked. She had been working here for over three years, and there were always transport trucks on standby. 

“We don’t use them anymore out here. There’s no need to risk it. Come with me, Captain.” He motioned for her to follow him. Emery walked about 20 paces ahead. He stopped dead still and within one second, the ground in front of him began to shift and raise up. Dani’s eyes nearly bugged out of her head. The engineers had installed a new entrance to the facility. It came right up out of the ground. It had not been detectable at all. Emery told her it could not be seen from the air either. As far as Legion knew, Fort Bliss was abandoned. Dani had to admit that this beat the hell out of being chased all the way to the south tunnel. 

Legion was a smart, tactical weapon. But it had no reasoning capabilities. It just saw targets to eliminate. When humans disappeared into the underground bunker, Legion no longer saw targets. It did not wonder what happened to them. It just rerouted to other locations to lock on to other human targets. Humanity’s best defense against the machines was digging a hole to hide in. 

The elevator took them deep down. Dani’s office was on the second sublevel. Her quarters were a level below that in the residential area. The first sublevel was basically empty. It was just a buffer against any incoming missile strikes. It could be used as defensive positions in the event that the machines ever got inside. The second sublevel was all offices. It was essentially the brain of Fort Bliss now. The fourth sublevel was research and development. It was huge. Dani did not go down there, but Emery hinted at showing her something special. The fourth sublevel was off limits even to her. Once she became a commander, her security clearance would increase. Only then would she know what was happening below. She’d heard rumors of a science lab where Legion technology was being reverse engineered for human use. She had heard about new rifles, cannons, missiles, armor, and everything else being constructed down there. She had yet to see anything. 

Everyone was met on the third sublevel, or residential sector. Three high ranking non-com soldiers in black tactical uniforms took the lead, beginning a tour of the facility and assignment to quarters. Major Emery and Captain Ramos stayed on the elevator and headed down. As the elevator began whining its way down, descending further into the earth, Dani told Emery about Grace’s field promotion to Lieutenant. “That’s just fine, Ramos. I’m sure she deserved it, and we’ll get the paperwork squared away before she’s walking again.” Dani felt comforted by the older soldier. He was very much a human being, compassionate, understanding, and cooperative. She had always liked him. 

“How’s Penny doing, Major?” This was the first time Dani had found time for small talk with him. She had known Penny since she came to the fort. Penny was a civilian, and always had been. She worked in the library on the residential floor. She was nearly 70 years old now. 

“Oh, she has good days and bad days. The dementia just gets worse every month. She stays home or in the library. I can’t let her wander around by herself too much. We’ve assigned a permanent detail to her. One lucky private gets to escort her back and forth every day. 

The elevator came to a silent halt on the fourth sublevel. “Now, Ramos. I understand that your security clearance is not top secret. That all changes right now. Welcome to the real war.” The elevator doors shifted open into a vast expanse. The whole area was wide open. It was the size of two football fields in length, and at least football fields wide, paved in concrete. Flood lamps hung from the ceiling. The real show was what was being housed there. Transport vehicles that Dani had never seen before. There were at least 20 of them lined up down the length of the cavernous expanse. In a second row, was a different type of vehicle that looked strangely like the HKs she was used to seeing. 

“What we’ve done here is nothing short of a miracle. The damned machines have us cut off in every way topside. But down here, we have created an international ant farm. These are our insects, Commander.” 

“Wha? Commander? I’m not. I’m just a.” 

“Shut up, Ramos. You’ve just been promoted to Commander of the Western Militias. Now, let’s go take a look at your equipment.” Emery’s forward motion in the conversation was quick. Dani had a hard time grasping it all and walking with him. All Emery was missing in this moment was a half-chewed Cuban cigar. 

“What about you? What about Commander Fields?” Commander Fields had been in charge of this operation for years. She was smart, efficient, calculated, and cold as ice. She’d been the perfect choice to lead any militia, army, or the entire Resistance. 

“I’m too old. Fields got her legs blown off by a landmine two weeks ago when her outfit got caught sleeping. They were literally sleeping when the Revs got to them. She and a few others took off running. She was the only one who made it out of that minefield alive. Fucking friendly fire. So now it’s you, Dani.” Emery was clearly not joking. 

The transports were incredible. The new transports were called Scorpions. They were easily the size of the Chinook that brought them here. They were matte black, anti-reflective, open in the middle to accommodate at least 25 soldiers at a time. Guns were mounted on the doors on each side of the craft. Larger guns were built in to the top of the transports. They looked like the mini guns, but twice as big. The Scorpion used Legion technology in its engines. There were four engines, mounted to the carrier to resemble insect legs. The thing looked more like a spider than a scorpion. The engines were similar to ion thrusters. Scientists had been developing the drives to take astronauts into deep space when jet fuel engines were no longer efficient. The mounted guns resembled 50 caliber mini guns, but according to Emery, they fired depleted uranium projectiles that had been tested to rip through the Rev-7s. Dani was completely in awe of what she was looking at. The second row of vehicles were in fact, Hunter Killers. They had been salvaged and repurposed by the Resistance as reconnaissance vehicles. And tactical bombers. The vehicles were redesigned to carry Mavericks and AMRAAMs. They were the bunker busters. This was all incredible. 

“Major, how did we get all this?” Dani almost could not breathe. The sight was overwhelming. 

“The Engineers are pretty smart. We also have a few friends down in Mexico that we’ve been working with.” 

“I thought we were cut off.” As far as Dani knew, there was no way to get further than about two hours in any direction without calling attention to yourself. 

“Ramos, haven’t you ever taken the tunnels?” Emery meant the tunnels that illegal immigrants used to cross the border. 

“Once.” She whispered, remembering the night they got picked up by border patrol. 

“Well, we’ve been busy. I tried to tell you that.” Emery smiled. According to him, the border tunnels presented humanity with a new idea to connect. They had recently finished the tunnels to Juarez. The Latin American Militias had been working on an entire network of tunnels all the way down to Mexico City and beyond. Everyone was working together now. The Resistance was about to start waging a whole new brand of war against the machines. “We’ve got a small intranet network down here between here and Mexico. We’ll be expanding that soon. We’ve got new radio antennas thanks to those idiot machines. They keep building and we keep taking. So, we’ve got comms clear to the coast now. We are all in the process of manufacturing new rifles for the boots. Speaking of boots, how’d ya like the new uniforms?” Emery was referring to the non-coms upstairs in black tactical fatigues. 

“I like them a lot. They look way more comfortable than the dressy ones I'm used to here. I have an idea for a unifying symbol for the Resistance, along with the red arm bands you proposed last year.” Dani told him about the Ouroboros, the meaning behind it, and how it would be appropriate to the Resistance. 

“Draw me up something, Commander Ramos. We’ll get ‘er done. I’ll get the paperwork on your two new promotions. What was her name again?” 

“Grace. Grace Harper. Lieutenant.” That concluded Dani’s tour in the top secret sublevel of Fort Bliss. 

Dani took the elevator back up to the third sublevel. Beyond the residential quarters, was the hospital. It was all within walking distance. There were motorized carts that could be used, but Dani needed to walk this off. She was in shock. This particular command had been busy indeed. And wait. He just made her commander of the Western Militias. That included Fort Bliss. 

Dani came to her quarters right away. She almost skipped right by to go see Grace. Instead, Dani decided she needed a moment to regroup. She punched in her code on the security pad by the door. The light blinked from red to green. She opened the door and stepped inside. Home. 

Her room wasn’t that big. None of them were. There was a bed, a desk, a bathroom, a dresser, a closet, a tv and an old DVD player. She had a stack of movies on the floor. She’d picked them up here and there when she could find them. In the corner by the desk was a bookshelf. She filled it with every book she could; when she wasn’t donating them to the library. Dani’s collection included classics like Mary Shelley’s Frankenstein, Grimm’s Fairy Tales, Don Quixote, The Count of Monte Cristo, 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea, and so on. Dani felt dirty all of a sudden. She really wanted a hot shower in private, with real soap and shampoo. She stripped off her clothes right there. She pulled her hair out of the tight braid. She walked, naked, to her closet to find something to wear. All of her service uniforms had been replaced by the new tactical fatigues. Two new pairs of boots sat, shiny and all lined up, at the bottom of the closet. “Ok, Commander, “ She told herself. “Get your shit together.” She picked out a uniform, tshirt, underwear, a bra, socks, and a pair of boots. She set them all on the bed and headed for the shower. 

The hot water on her skin felt just like heaven. The water pressure wasn’t what she had been used to, which was almost nothing. She’d had about three baths since she went out four months ago. She let the water cascade over her sore muscles. She opened the bottle of shampoo and took a deep whiff. It smelled like strawberries. The labs downstairs had been great about providing top rate hygiene products to the residents here. Dani could not have been happier, unless Grace could have been with her. That was something else Dani wanted to ask Major Emery. She quickly realized that she was in charge now. She could do whatever she wanted, including asking Grace to move in with her. 

Dani took extra care with her appearance after the shower. She oiled her hair and braided it tightly back. She donned the new uniform which was pressed but not starched. It was quite comfortable. On her desk were her uniform insignia pins. There was a single red star to pin on top of the left shoulder of her uniform. And two red eagle shaped lapel pins. That would show her rank as Commander. Her last name was embroidered above the left breast pocket. She folded the cuffs of her pants and tucked them into her boots. She laced them tight and put on her belt. Everything she was wearing was brand new. Dani felt like a brand-new woman. She looked like she was all business. And truth be known, now she was. She gazed at her appearance in the mirror. She looked ten feet tall and felt bulletproof. She thought about saluting herself one time, but smiled at her reflection instead. 

Dani left her quarters and headed down the hall to go be with Grace.


	14. Mine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “And you said, "Don't give me nothing  
> You don't want to lose"  
> I said, "Darling, I'll give you everything I got  
> If I want, I'm to choose" 
> 
> -First Aid Kit

The hospital was just as Dani remembered. Everything was clean. The equipment was old, but in really good shape. They had an x-ray machine, a CT scanner, and MRI machine, and even an ob/gyn wing. Not that many women were having babies right now. Occasionally they’d bring a child into the world, there under the earth. It happened maybe twice a year. Everyone was busy fighting for their lives. It was hard to focus on raising a family when you didn’t know if there would a future for the kid. 

The head nurse greeted Dani with a salute. Dani reciprocated the action and asked about Grace. The nurse pointed her to the end of the hall near the ICU. Dani’s feet could not carry her fast enough. She felt like she had not seen Grace in days. 

Grace was sitting up in bed, wearing a white t-shirt, covered by a white hospital blanket from the waist down. She was drinking something out of a little plastic coffee cup. She did not see Dani standing in the doorway watching her. Dani stood and admired the woman. They had removed the bandage from her jaw and her left eye. Dani could see the neat stitches along Grace’s face. Now she knew how the blonde got that scar so many years ago. 

Dani cleared her throat softly, looking down at her boots. Grace looked up and smiled at the sight of the newly promoted militia commander. “Fuck me...” Grace whispered. 

“Eventually, I hope.” Dani responded, walking into the semi-private room. The only thing missing was an actual door. Grace continued to look Dani over, shaking her head. 

“You look amazing. I told you, you’d be the commander soon enough.” Grace set her cup down on the bedside tray table, and moved to the side enough to let Dani sit next to her on the bed. 

Dani thanked Grace and sat beside the wounded warrior. “How are you, Grace?” Dani leaned in to get a better look at the damage on Grace’s face. She gently curled her finger under the blonde’s chin. Grace let her move her head back and forth. Dani gazed into the beautiful blue eyes of the woman she felt so deeply for. Grace’s left eye looked fine, other than the white of it was completely full of blood. 

“They call it a ‘subconjunctival hemorrhage’. But I can see just fine. ” Grace said. 

“Does it hurt?” Dani whispered. She dropped her hand into Grace’s lap, starving for touch from the young blonde. 

“No. My side aches like a big dog, though. whew.” Grace let out a substantial breath to punctuate the feeling. She reached down and took Dani’s hand gently, rubbing the fingers of her other hand over it. “I’ve missed you.” Grace said without looking up. 

Dani leaned down into Grace’s line of sight to make eye contact. Grace did not look away. “I’ve missed you too, hermosa.” Dani licked her bottom lip and bit it between her teeth. Grace looked up over behind her, to see if anyone was looking. When the coast was clear, Grace leaned in and pressed her lips against Dani’s. There was a moment when time stopped. Grace could feel every soft bit of Dani’s mouth against hers. She could smell the shampoo Dani had used. Grace felt drunk. Dani gently sucked Grace’s bottom lip between hers, holding it there. She reached up and carefully cradled the blonde’s uninjured side in her hand. They broke apart reluctantly. 

“I want to ask you something, Dani.” 

“Sure, love.” 

“How much of your blood do I have in me?” 

“Two pints, give or take.” Dani reached back to hold Grace’s hand again. Grace could clearly feel the weight of the gift. 

“Wow. I don’t know what to say. You gave me life, Dani. Your life.” Grace’s tired eyes began to fill with tears. 

Dani inched closer to her, slowly wrapping an arm around her, trying to be as tender as possible. “I’d do it again in a heartbeat.” She reached up with her other hand and pushed Grace’s hair out of her eyes. “I would.” 

Grace did not have words for what she was feeling. She just wanted to dive right in to the commander and freefall. She knew, somewhere inside of herself, that Dani would never let her hit the ground. She settled instead for skin contact. Grace remembered how good it felt to rub her cheek over Dani’s breast that morning before all hell broke loose. She could not do that here, though, not right now. She leaned closer to Dani, pressed her uninjured cheek against the brunette’s, and rubbed her face back and forth lightly. Dani allowed the touch. Grace touched her so lightly that the hairs on both of their faces rubbed together. It was so light, but it set Grace’s nerves on fire. She whispered into Dani’s ear, “I only...want to be with you.” 

Dani wanted eye contact again, but Grace was so warm, soft, and just amazing against her cheek that Dani did not want to break from the touch. Grace was being so gentle with her. It was a first. “I’ll never leave you, my love.” Dani whispered back. She felt Grace’s hand slide up her arm, to her shoulder, gripping her neck. Grace just breathed hard, clearly affected by Dani’s promise. Her heart beat faster, pumping Dani Ramos’s blood through her veins. 

A few long moments passed while the two just remained in the embrace. There was a soft knock at the door. Dani turned to see who it was. The base doctor, Captain Algren, stood with arms folded over his chest. He, too, was wearing the black fatigues. His left shoulder bore a white and red cross patch. “I’m sorry to interrupt, Commander, Lieutenant.” 

“Jesus. Word gets around here fast!” Dani laughed. She stood up and adjusted her uniform. She kept her hand on Grace’s shoulder, holding good on her promise to never leave her. 

“Good news does, yes. I just came by to talk to Grace about her prognosis. You look, L-T. The scans show nothing abnormal. Those Carlsbad medics stitched you up proper.” 

“Can I have some food yet?” Grace hadn’t eaten in days. The liquid diet they had her on now was just not enough. It was full of protein and vitamin supplements, but it wasn’t adequate for Grace’s ravenous appetite. 

“I’d say by tonight you can probably have some crackers and juice.” Capt. Algren declared. “You can probably go back to your own quarters too. I really don’t see any reason to keep you here. You can start a course of antibiotics and come back if you have any problems. Soreness is to be expected for about a week.” Dani rubbed Grace’s shoulder, excited about this new development. “Watch out for swelling, oozing pus, loss of appetite, change in bowel movements. Take it easy on the food for a few days, Harper. We don’t want you rupturing again.” 

“So can she leave now?” Dani asked. She was obviously more excited about this than either of them seemed to be. 

“Yeah, I’ll get her some scrubs and if you would take her to her room, that would save me having to call an orderly.” 

“I’d be happy to, Captain.” Dani turned to Grace. “Are you ready?” Grace nodded. 

“I never thought I’d be happy for crackers.” Her laugh was dry. Dani remembered sharing crackers and cookies in the tent with Grace that first night. 

“I’ll get you something good, ok?” 

“Dani? I don’t actually live anywhere.” 

Dani swiveled her hips back and forth, carefully considering her next move. “That is true. But you can come stay with me until you’re back on your feet?” She did not want to pursue living together immediately. Grace might get scared and shut down again. Dani would do anything to prevent that from happening. 

“That would be good. I’d like to sleep in a real bed.” Grace looked up at the brunette, her blue eyes lit up with something else. “With a real woman.” Grace was definitely rough around the edges, but Dani loved her for it. She leaned down and kissed Grace quickly before the doctor came back in. 

“Yes, amour. That’s what I had in mind.” She whispered quietly. 

Captain Algren returned with a set of blue scrubs. “I don’t know if they’ll be long enough, but that’s what happens when you come in naked, Harper. I’ve called down to the quartermaster to have some uniforms sent your way. I’m guessing about a 32 long.” 

“Close enough.” Grace answered. She could not wait to get out of the hospital. 

“Now, Harper. You are ordered to be on light duty for the next five weeks if you can help it. No lifting anything over 10 lbs. No soldiering. Nothing strenuous. Dani’s face flushed hot. Grace tried not to smile. 

“You got it, doc.” Grace answered, swinging her legs over the edge of the bed. She could not yet bend all the way over, so Dani helped her get the pants on. Grace stood and pulled them up over her hips, noticing that the legs came up to the middle of her shins. “Ha. Nice. Capris.” 

Captain Algren laughed and left the room. 

Grace slipped the scrub shirt on over her t-shirt. Dani moved to her injured side, delicately pressing herself against the blonde. Grace draped her arm over Dani’s shoulders and they made the long walk down to the residential area. They took it slow, so Grace did not have to work too hard. Dani’s room wasn’t far into the first residential hall. This hallway was built for singles and couples in the Resistance. There were more housing units on the west end for families and civilians. Dani would need to jump right into things in the morning with the rest of the command center. She wanted to know every detail. 

At her room, Dani punched in her code. She walked Grace to the bed, set the pill bottles down that the captain had given her, and went to the supply closet at the end of the hall. The closet had extra wool blankets, pillows, sheets, and towels. Dani grabbed two extra pillows and an extra blanket and towel. She took them back and helped Grace prop herself up on the bed. Dani stuffed the two extra pillows behind Grace’s back. She stopped to kiss the blonde. “I’m going to go find you some clothes that aren’t... that.” She smiled at Grace, and kissed her again, this time with more insistence. She felt Grace flick her tongue out, seeking its partner. Dani let her have what she wanted, briefly. She placed her hand in the middle of Grace’s chest. “Slow, chica. Very slow. I’ll be right back.” Grace grinned up at her, as wide as she could without causing herself pain. 

Dani ran down the hall at a steady clip. She was going to the quartermaster before it got too late. She wanted to at least get Grace something more comfortable to sleep in and some clean briefs. Dani was going to make her take a bath one way or another. Grace reeked. She just didn’t want to tell her that. When Dani got what she needed, and ordered Grace’s new uniforms, she headed to the mess hall for some food. She ate on the run, so Grace did not have to watch her eat actual food. She got a sleeve of saltine crackers for the blonde and a bottle of apple juice. It wasn’t real apple juice. it was something created downstairs in the labs to restore electrolytes and had some dietary supplements in it as well. It did not taste bad. Dani could almost imagine it was real if she closed her eyes and drank it fast enough. 

Grace was still reclining comfortably when Dani arrived. She had helped herself to the book Dani had been reading before she left. It was a copy of Treasure Island with the cover ripped off. Grace looked up and smiled at her. 

“Hey, before you get too comfortable there, what do you say we get you in the shower? I know they gave you a sponge bath this morning to get most of the blood and dirt off you, but... umm.” Dani could not find it in her heart to say it. 

“I stink. I know.” Grace lifted her arm and sniffed the pit. “It’s bad. I’ll go.” Dani helped her up and asked if she needed help doing anything. Grace declined her and said a private shower right now would be excellent. “But don’t go anywhere.” 

Dani put on a movie while Grace showered. Dani did not know why she liked “Surf’s Up” so much. Penguins weren’t her thing, but the soundtrack was good. She listened for the water start up before she laid back. 

Grace had not had a shower experience like this in years. Since before the war, probably. This was not a gravity assisted mess with cold water. This was hot. The pressure felt good on her sore muscles. She was careful to angle her injuries away from the direct stream. She used Dani’s shampoo which smelled like strawberries. It reminded her of her mother. Grace could not remember washing her hair so thoroughly. She actually washed it twice just because she could. She took great care to wash the rest of herself twice also. She stood under the water and let it beat on her back for a few minutes. 

Dani heard the water stop and realized Grace’s clotes were on the bed with her. Grace opened the door and steam rolled out. Her skin was bright pink from the hot water. The smell of scented soap and strawberry shampoo filled the room. Grace was toweling herself off right there in front of Dani. And Dani could not stop staring. Grace wasn’t hard. She was still big, but it was nice to look at her in her natural form. Her abs were defined and not yet covered in augmentation scars. Her shoulders and arms were well muscled, enough to make Dani want to kiss every inch of them. Grace was cut and defined from head to toe. And she was letting Dani ogle her. 

Grace watched Dani’s eyes travel over her body. She usually did not let anyone stare at her like that. By now, with any other woman, Grace would have snapped at them to look away. Or she’d have just moved on them to start fucking. But Dani’s eyes weren’t curious or alarmed in anyway. Dani was admiring her, and Grace wanted to let her get her fill. Grace turned around completely to go hang the towel up, giving Dani a full view of her back side. She was almost sure she heard a little moan, but over the ringing in her ears, who knew? 

Grace locked eyes with Dani as she came back in. The look on Dani’s face told a story of a woman who was experiencing something more than sexual at that moment. Grace could see it plainly. Grace usually felt completely exposed by now, but she felt no embarrassment or shame with Dani. This was a very different feeling for Grace. She did not feel like she was on display. She felt like Dani was just getting to know her better, and she was willing to let her. She did hope that Dani might do the same for her soon. Grace looked forward to experiencing this intimate moment from the other point of view. 

Grace picked up the t-shirt and put it on slowly, trying not to rip out any stitches. When she got the shirt over her head, Dani was standing beside her to help her with her briefs and sleep pants. Grace didn’t feel like being babied, but she could not yet bend over all the way. Dani probably wouldn’t let her stand on one foot either. From in the bathroom, Dani retrieved her brush, a towel, and a pair of sharp looking scissors. She moved to her desk and pulled the chair to the middle of the room. “Sit down, please, Grace.” 

Grace sat while Dani wrapped the towel around the blonde’s neck, tucking in on itself. “We should have done this first, but your hair was so greasy, I couldn’t make it look good.” 

“You know how to cut hair?” Grace did not seem worried about it. She had suffered from bad hair since the beginning of the apocalypse when her dad whacked it all off to make her look like boy. She took trims wherever she could get them. 

“I used to cut papi and Diego’s hair once a month.” Dani ran the brush through Grace’s damp locks, sweeping it all back, careful not to nick the cut on her forehead. Dani moved around to look at Grace like that. “You are so beautiful, Grace.” She watched the blonde’s cheeks turn red as she averted her eyes. Very slowly and gently, Dani began to cut her hair. She made it nice and short, up around her ears, about two inches left on top. Dani did her best to cut the back nice and short. When she was done, she gathered up the towel and put it in the hamper. “Go look.” 

Grace stood and went to the bathroom mirror. Aside from her blown out eye and her new scars, she thought she looked pretty good. She’d look even better in a black uniform, she knew. Something stirred in Grace then. She wasn’t sure what it was. It was not a memory. It was just some unnamed emotion that she normally bit back and ignored. Her eyes got really wet, but Grace let it go this time, she braced herself on the bathroom sink and let the wave roll over her. Dani’s hand was on her back then. Grace just nodded to her, wiping tears away. 

“Is it that bad?” Dani looked mortified. Grace stifled a laugh at the expense of her ribs. She winced. Dani put down the scissors and brush, and took Grace by the hand. 

“Come to bed, love.” 

Grace let Dani lead her out. She watched Dani Ramos prepare a spot for her in her room, in her bed, ultimately in her life. Grace would follow the Commander of the Resistance into hell and back out. She would follow Dani anywhere. Her first instinct was to shake off that feeling. Then she remembered what she had done, where she had been, and where she was now. She felt like Dani had rescued her all over again. This time it was from hunting scraps at Carlsbad. Grace missed her rangers, but she’d see them soon. Dani was capturing parts of Grace, and she was willingly giving them up. She had two pints of Dani’s blood inside of her. Dani was a part of her now. That was something that Grace could not shake. She admired the petite brunette Latina. She was absolutely breathtaking. Dani fluffed two pillows against the wall and motioned for Grace to lay down. Dani had given her the left side of the bed so she could sleep with her injury away from being rolled on in the middle of the night. Grace moved to lay down, pulling the covers back. The bed was soft. Grace worried it might be hard to get up in the morning, but she was not about to go sleep somewhere alone tonight. 

When Grace was comfortable, Dani sat at the edge of the bed and started unlacing her boots. She set them back in the closet. She stood in front of the closet and thought for a moment. Grace could see the wheels turning. Dani was debating whether to change in front of Grace or not. She saw the decision when Dani began unbuttoning her uniform shirt. She did it slowly, maintaining eye contact with Grace. She pulled the shirt down off her shoulders and hung it up. She unbuckled her belt, unzipped her pants and pulled them off. She hung them up beside the shirt. Dani was just wearing her service t-shirt and panties and socks. This is pretty much what she wore to bed every night. But she wanted to give Grace something extra. She stepped on the toe of a sock with one foot and pulled it off. Then the next. She crossed her arms over herself and pulled her shirt off over her head. She was down to panties and a black bra. Dani reached up and started to unbraid her hair. She shook the dark locks free and let her hair fall over her shoulders. She could hear a quiet gasp from Grace. She reached back and unhooked her bra, slowly pulling it away from her chest. She watched Grace’s eyes change from admiration to something a little darker. Dani wondered if Grace was up for anything else. Grace would probably argue with her if she said no. Dani stood still for a moment, cupping one breast for Grace. She rolled the dark nipple between her finger and her thumb. She could hear Grace’s breathing change. Dani lowered her hands and shifted her panties down to her knees. She bent and kicked them off. Dani was completely naked for Grace. She half expected the blonde soldier to stand up and take her like before. That would not have been all bad either. 

Grace was becoming aroused at the sight of Dani. It was quite a strip tease she had done for her. Grace marveled at Dani’s soft curves. She really wanted her hands all over the woman, but she did not feel like she’d be able to perform the way Dani deserved. Another crazy thought. Grace was considering Dani’s pleasure before her own. “Dani, get ready for bed.” Grace had not issued a command. She spoke softly, just wanting to lay next to this wonderful creature who kept saving her life again and again. Dani went to her dresser and found an oversized t-shirt and some clean panties. She pulled out a pair of shorts and got dressed. She made sure to leave her back to Grace, giving her the same opportunity to look. She was amazed at how much control Grace was presenting right now. 

Grace looked at that perfect ass and felt her loins start to burn. She wanted to fight it, and be appropriate just once for Dani. She didn’t want to have a hard-on when Dani slipped in beside her. But it was difficult, looking at the muscles beneath that tight skin. Looking at the scars that told a tale of what Dani had been through. Grace thought her scars were beautiful. Dani’s legs were lean and powerful. Her thighs were just the right thickness for Grace’s large hands to hold. Grace closed her eyes and laid her head back against the pillow. She was really trying not to let the sensations overwhelm her. She opened her eyes again and Dani was dressed, making her way into bed beside the blonde. 

“Are you ok, Grace?” 

Grace was a little breathless. “Um. Yeah. I’m sorry. You’re so beautiful. And what you’ve done for me and to me lately? It’s all a little bit much to process right now.” Dani scooted closer to her, put a leg over hers and traced the outline of Grace’s cock through her pants. “Dani, I …" 

“You deserve something nice, love. Can I give you something nice?” Dani ran her fingers across the bulge, feeling the shaft start to harden at her touch. Grace closed her eyes and nodded. 

Dani laid beside Grace and slipped her hand inside the sleep pants and briefs, taking hold of what was hers. Grace’s cock was thick. It was veiny. It was long and formidable. The skin was smooth and hot. Dani loved touching Grace like this. Grace let out a long deep breath when Dani started to rub her slowly, bringing out Grace’s full length in a matter of a minute. 

Grace felt herself throb in Dani’s hand. She had the most amazing touch. She wasn’t rough or too light. She handled Grace perfectly, stroking her full length from base to head. Dani stopped at the head to run her fingertips around it. The brunette used her other hand to pull Grace’s pants and briefs down. Grace raised her hips up to help. Once Dani had them down, she held Grace still. “You’re really big, love. I haven’t been able to just look at you until right now.” 

“I’m sorry for being rough with you, Dani. I won’t do it again.” Grace believed that too. She would submit to Dani for the rest of her life if she could. 

“What if I want you to be rough? Would you do it then?” Dani wasn’t teasing. She was genuinely asking. Grace nodded and closed her eyes again. Dani let go of Grace’s hard length, letting it rest against her belly. Grace moaned at the loss of contact. Dani knelt beside her and leaned in for a soft, but very passionate kiss. “I want to know you Grace, all the way through. I don’t want anything left between us.” Dani kissed Grace again, opening her mouth against Grace’s lips, an offering of her love. Grace slowly gave Dani her tongue, sliding it against hers, swirling them together, tasting Dani’s mouth. Grace groaned loudly and she throbbed all over. 

“I am yours, Dani. I’m yours forever. Show me the way through.” Grace was out of breath. Dani wrapped her hand around the blonde warrior’s cock again, bent her head and took Grace into her mouth. Grace sat up and let out the dirtiest moan Dani had ever heard. She sucked the shaft firmly, washing it with her tongue. Grace smelled so good to her. That musky scent that was entirely and uniquely Grace. Dani lifted her head and looked at Grace. “Hold my hair back, but otherwise, don’t move. Just relax and enjoy this.” Dani felt a big hand in her hair, pulling it back out of her way. She lowered her head to take Grace back into her mouth, running her tongue over the head, tasting the fluid that began to leak. Grace even tasted good. She moved in rhythm with Grace’s breathing, letting her have control. The faster Grace breathed; the faster Dani moved on her cock. When Grace slowed down, so did Dani. If Grace held her breath, Dani stopped and simply sucked on her shaft, massaging it with the flat of her tongue. Grace picked up on this early, and dictated the pace. She breathed slowly and deeply at first, so Dani would suck her gently, and would take her all the way to the back of her throat. As Grace’s pleasure heightened, her breathing picked up. Dani realized that she could blow Grace all night long like this, if the blonde was up for it. Dani took Grace’s dick out of her warm wet mouth, looked up into piercing blue eyes and asked, “Do you want to come?” She squeezed the shaft and pumped it slowly, waiting for the blonde to decide. Grace bit her lips and moaned “mmmhmmm”. Dani smiled, lowered her head and took as much of Grace as she could. She pushed down on the shaft, letting the head rub against the back of her throat. Dani kept steady pressure there, relaxing to let Grace slip further inside. 

Grace’s mind was being torn apart by physical sensations she didn’t feel she had any rights to enjoy. Dani was taking all of her, and letting her into her throat. That was something only Grace decided a woman would do. Here, she was relinquishing her control, and Dani was being so fucking good to her. Dani pushed herself further down onto Grace, taking more of her into her throat. She was sucking and licking and Grace could not help but watch her beautiful mouth work the stiff shaft. Grace knew she was going to come. “Dani, I'm right there.” Dani kept sucking her a little harder, not letting Grace move out of her mouth. Grace felt the tidal wave crash into her as she began to erupt down Dani’s throat. “Oh God, Dani. Oh God! Oh wow!” Grace was moaning and trying to refrain from bucking against Dani. She didn’t want to drive her cock too far in and hurt her. Dani held her steady, letting her release everything she was holding. Grace felt it all leave her body, and felt Dani drink her down. “You feel so good. You’re so good to me, Dani.” Grace had never once pushed Dani’s head down or thrusted her hips up into Dani. She just let the older woman have her. She was spent, breathless, vulnerable now. Dani let Grace’s cock slide slowly out of her mouth. She guided it with her lips to lay against the blonde’s belly while it softened completely. Dani had done the whole thing so clean; Grace would not need another shower unless she wanted it. 

Dani sat up, looking up at Grace. The blonde was beyond words. She was just feeling now. She reached out and wrapped her arms around Dani, pulling her in beside her. “Don’t leave me, Dani.” She couldn’t believe she was saying it. She couldn’t describe what she felt for this woman but it was undeniable now. 

Dani smiled against Grace’s breast, turning her head to press her lips over the nipple through the shirt. Grace is mine, she mused. This is MY Grace. Dani turned her head and laid gently against her lover. “I brought you crackers and juice if you’re hungry.” Dani sat up then, remembering the food. She brought it to Grace, switched on the movie and relaxed back into bed. They were home. Dani felt the woman beside her relax again. And Dani believed she might sleep for the first time since Grace held her in the tent.


	15. Transition

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “And as a child  
> I danced like it was 1999  
> My dreams were wild  
> The promise of this new world  
> Would be mine  
> Now I am throwing off the carelessness of youth  
> To listen to an inconvenient truth.” 
> 
> -Melissa Etheridge

Over the course of the next few weeks, Grace had made herself as useful as she could. Not being able to lift or bend much, she knew she would not be helpful among the boot soldiers who were constantly moving in and out. Plus, working with them and not being able to go out would have made things that much harder on her mental state. She was feeling cooped up. She did not like that feeling. It made her anxious and panicky. When Dani suggested that maybe she could go help out in the civilian sector, Grace immediately jumped at the chance. Dani could not have Grace working with her without an appropriate security clearance, and for now, there was no reason to give her one. Once the engineers finished with the east entrance, and the new machines could fly out, then everyone would be in the loop. 

After one quiet morning alone, Grace got dressed and headed to the library. She liked quiet spaces, but she needed something to keep her mind occupied. She’d already read every one of Dani’s books and watched every movie at least twice. She was stir crazy. The library would afford Grace a way to lose herself in something else; and she’d be helpful to the old woman who Dani called Penny. 

The library itself was big. It was easily the size of the main bay back at Carlsbad. Bookcases lined the walls from floor to ceiling. Grace could not remember seeing so many books in one place. These books were in various conditions. Some were pristine, having been taken underground before the fires could destroy them. Some were in less great condition, having been salvaged on supply runs. Grace remembered the book on Egyptian mythology that she had found when she was a kid. She had actually stepped on it when she was walking through the abandoned strip mall. It was in a pile of broken concrete, dust, and ash. She picked it up and the binding fell apart in her hands. She remembered sitting against the wall of the old book shop, flipping through the colorful pages, showing drawings of Anubis, Horace, Isis, the Sphinx, and so many more idols she had forgotten the names of. She remembered the ouroboros, the snake eating its own tail, and how it symbolized the circle of life and death and rebirth. She had thought it was appropriate as a symbol to the world as it was now. She remembered life before the war. She remembered the death of the world. And now, the rebirth, in the aftermath of utter destruction, Grace realized that the ouroboros was a real thing. In a place where God had abandoned her and left a deep fracture in her soul, the serpent from a time far more ancient than she could comprehend was her light in the dark. 

Penny Emery was in her early 70s. She had long white hair that she wore in a single pony tail. Her face was long, drawn down over the years by time and gravity. She had a slight hunch in her back, which might have been brought on by osteoporosis. Her long, thin fingers were knobby at the knuckles, a testament to arthritis. Grace approached the front desk where Penny was sitting, sorting books according to an old cataloguing system. Grace had heard of the Dewey Decimal system, but never got the chance to learn it. Penny looked up from her stack of books and smiled at Grace. Penny’s mouth opened as she went to speak, and Grace noticed that the woman’s two front incisors were missing. For all of Penny Emory’s beauty, her front teeth had been lost. Grace tried not to focus on it. 

“Hello there, you must be Grace.” Penny stood and offered an aged, delicate hand to the towering blonde. “I did not expect you to be so tall.” Penny chuckled as Grace gently took her hand. Grace dared not squeeze. “I’m Penny Emery. At least, I think I am.” Grace laughed at the joke, because it might have been absolutely true that Penny forgot herself. Dani had talked to Grace about how the poor woman suffered dementia and had good and bad days. 

Penny walked Grace through a crash course on the cataloguing system. Grace was good with numbers, and she believed she could have the whole system memorized in no time. OOOs were for science and information, 100s for philosophy and psych. 200s for religion. 300s for social science, and so on up. Most of the labels on the books were just masking tape with numbers written in ink with author’s initials listed alphabetically. Grace understood the filing system, and would do her best to keep things in order. She told Penny she was happy to be there, and let her know if she needed anything at all, Grace would be happy to lend a hand. Penny nodded and said they could go eat lunch together later, if Grace would walk with her to the mess hall. Grace said she’d be more than happy. 

Since there was not much to do, Penny had taken care of everything meticulously, Grace resigned herself to putting away the returned stack of books. The last one in the pile caught her attention. It was an old maintenance manual for Chinook helicopters. She sat down in an ugly green arm chair at the very back of the library, flipping through the pages. The maintenance on the old Chinooks looked very complicated. Grace began to go over engine specifications for the CH-47, then fuel systems, then rotary-wing blades (front and rear). She flipped to the back of the manual to read up on an armed Chinook. She had lost track of time, and did not hear Penny walk up behind her. 

“Those old manuals get checked out all the time. I don’t even know why they keep them up here. They should just be kept downstairs with the maintenance division.” Penny stood behind Grace, her hands on the back of the chair. “It’s not light reading either. Do you fly helicopters, Lieutenant?” 

Grace could not tear her eyes from the manual. She was entranced, hopeful. Her voice was distant, “no. I’ve only ever been inside one once... on my way here.” 

“Oh. Well, are you hungry? I am.” Penny turned and shuffled off toward the front of the library. Grace supposed that was her invitation to join the woman. Penny wore the same black fatigues that everyone else did. Hers, however drooped and sagged on her aging frame. They were clearly too big for her. Penny was a small woman, almost as short as Dani. Penny would have been taller without the hunch in her spine. Grace closed the manual and left it sitting in the chair. She jogged forward to catch up with the older woman. Grace stepped in beside her, offered the old woman her arm, and escorted Penny Emery to lunch. 

The mess hall was full. There were hundreds of people sitting, eating, talking loudly, laughing. This was not a subdued atmosphere like Grace was used to. These people were not afraid or hungry all the time. Come to think of it, Grace could not remember the last time she had slept restlessly, with one eye open. She could get used to this, she thought. Grace found a table for them to sit at, and motioned for Penny to sit. Grace left her there and went to stand in line for food. She got some apples, bread, oatmeal, and something that might have been soy curd or even Spam. She took two trays with her back to the table, and sat across from the librarian. They made small talk about their lives before the war. Penny had been a middle school teacher in El Paso. She loved working with children and missed her job very much. She and Major Emery had retired the same year and planned on a few months of travel. That’s when everything changed. Penny was very sharp, remembering the past. She admitted to not being able to remember what day it was or where she lived. Sometimes she even forgot where she was entirely. Grace offered her a moment of compassion, admitting that must be terrifying. Penny told her that they usually had a guard on her every day now, to keep her from getting lost. She said it was comforting to know that Winston still loved her enough to do it. Grace was very taken with Penny. She was like a sweet, old grandmother figure. Grace did not remember her grandparents. They lived up in Washington, where Grace’s parents were originally from. 

As their conversation about books and life continued, Grace felt a hand on her shoulder. She looked up to see Commander Ramos. “Hi, there. Umm, Penny, this is Da...Commander Ramos.” 

Penny looked Dani over and nodded. “Yes, Winston told me about you. He said you were fearless and fit for command here. Is that true, young lady?” 

Dani blushed and smiled. “I guess so. I mean, someone has to do it, right?” 

Penny nodded in agreement. “Won’t you sit with us, Commander?” 

“Actually, I can’t. I came to get something to go, and I have to get back to work. Transitions take a lot of time around here. I just stopped to say hello.” Dani gently squeezed Grace’s shoulder. “Do you two need anything in the library? Staplers, pencils, more books?” Dani didn’t know what she could possibly offer them that would be any use. She was just trying to make Penny feel like her needs would be met by someone who cared about her job. 

“We always accept more books, Commander. That goes without saying. Grace has been very helpful to me today, and is learning the catalogue system quickly. I’d like her there every day, and you could send my warden to do something different. He didn’t talk much anyway.” 

“That’s really up to Grace. I’ll put the order through if she decides to stay. Anyway, you two have a nice afternoon.” As Dani walked away, she trailed her fingertips across Grace’s back. Grace shivered at the lightness of the touch, and secretly burned for Dani deep inside. 

When all was said and done for the day, Grace had managed to find three more manuals on helicopter maintenance and one for a Lockheed C1-30 Hercules cargo plane. She filed them away in their correct spots, put her hands on her hips and hummed softly. She had her reading set up for the next few days, at least. She could not wait to get back and dig in. It was dry, technical reading, but it seemed to suit her just fine. Learning about how engines and aircraft worked interested Grace very much. She did not know she would like it so much, but she was happy to have it. At the front of the library, there was a metal gate that was pulled across the front of the entrance, like the security gates at mall stores. Grace pulled it across so that Penny could lock up. Penny kept the library key on a lanyard around her neck. Grace escorted Penny home and delivered her safely to Major Emery. He stood in the open doorway of their quarters, holding his hand out for his wife. “Come on home, mama. Time to relax.” He thanked Grace and closed the door. 

Grace spun on her heel, feeling great about the entire day. She had made a great new friend. She had discovered a love for mechanical things, and had been taught a new skill. She also got to see Dani briefly, and that touch. Oh God, Grace thought, that touch. It was subtle, secret, and entirely too hot. The ghost of Dani’s fingers made Grace ache all over. 

Grace went to the mess hall for dinner. It was more of the same from lunch, but tonight there was a kind of caramel sauce for the apples. She still could not decide if the main dish was tofu or spam. It was a pale pink color and tasted like ham. Grace knew it was not ham. But it tasted ok, and that was all that mattered. She had hoped Dani would be there for dinner, but did not see her. Grace decided to take a walk around the civilian sector and see what there was to see. 

There was a school. There was a church. There were public laundry facilities, a gym, and even an indoor playground. Several children were on the swings and the slide. Grace remembered one of the last times she and her brother were playing together at a park. It was the last time Grace had long hair and no worries. She snapped her attention back to her walk. She went past a supply store. Things were bought and paid for in trade and work. There was no money anymore. No one needed it. Humanity had gone back to a simple barter system. If you needed socks and underwear, you could volunteer in the mess hall for a couple days. If you needed pencils and paper, or an outdated magazine, you could pick up trash. Grace noticed there were several garbage cans placed throughout the area. She passed by a counselor’s office. She imagined that place was usually booked solid, dealing with all the PTSD from Judgement Day. She decided she’d seen enough for one day and began to make her way back home. Grace was getting tired. She made a mental note to ask about the gym. She had a few other things she wanted to ask about as well. 

Grace got turned around on her way back to the residence halls. They all looked the same, and she could not remember what number was Dani’s. She finally stopped a non-com soldier, a sergeant first class, and asked him which way she should go. He directed her to the next hallway, to make a left turn at the end, and Commander Ramos’s room was on the end. She thanked him and continued on home. She had made herself quite at home in Dani’s room. She had often wondered if Dani wanted her own space back; perhaps it was time for Grace to get her own joint. But Dani never said anything about it ever. Grace was content to stay with her anyway. 

She arrived, just as the non-com said she would. She punched in the code and let herself in. The room was dark. Grace shut the door behind her and sighed. She stood in the middle of the darkened room, just feeling the walls around her. She was trying to ground herself here. The smell of the room was all Dani and strawberry shampoo. Grace closed her eyes, trying to will Dani to come home soon. The commander had been working late a lot, and Grace was missing her company. The first week after they arrived, Grace had mostly stayed in, reading and watching movies. The first couple of days, Dani came home at meal times to eat privately with Grace. They spent the evenings cuddled up in bed, talking, touching, laughing, anything to solidify their bond. 

Grace turned to go switch on the lights. “Leave them off.” The whisper caught her off guard and she jumped. 

She heard Dani shift in the bed. “You’re home.” Grace was surprised and happy. Dani sighed deeply, and Grace picked up that something wasn’t right. 

She slipped into bed next to Dani, pressing her hand into Dani’s back. “What is it? Are you ok?” 

“Migraine.” Dani whispered. Grace had migraines sometimes, when she did not get enough water or took a blow to the head. She understood the pain Dani was feeling. She took her hand off Dani’s back, knowing that the slightest touch could be excruciating for the brunette. 

“What can I do for you?” Grace lowered her voice to barely a whisper. 

“Nothing. I took something. I just have to wait for it to go away.” Dani sounded like she was in a great deal of pain. Grace felt helpless and unable to protect Dani at all. She gently rolled onto her back and laid there next to the commander. Soon, Grace was dreaming. 

The Revs marched in formation, one machine splitting into two. Two splitting into four, and four into eight. They were replicating exponentially until a massive army of monsters were marching toward her. She could not run. Her feet felt nailed to the ground. She could not even turn around. Grace started to panic. She was holding an old M16 rifle, but when she lifted to shoot, the gun fell apart in her hands. The machines drew closer and closer until they were all around her, stabbing and screaming their mechanical cries. Grace felt the spears piercing her body all over, through her stomach, through her arms and legs, through her sides and her lungs. She felt them go right into her heart. She tried to scream but coughed up blood. She was dying. She was being held up by machine tentacles that were killing her over again and again. 

“Grace. Grace, wake up!” Dani shook her until she finally came around. Grace was drenched in a cold sweat and out of breath. Her eyes could not focus in the dark room. She could only hear the voice bringing her back to reality. 

“Dani!” She automatically reached for her partner, throwing her arms around her without thinking. Dani held her. She was getting used to Grace having nightmares. They were usually about the Rev-7s that almost killed her that morning. Dani held her until her breathing slowed. She could feel Grace’s heart pounding through her chest. Dani made gentle shushing noises, reassuring the blonde warrior that she was safe. They did not even have to talk about it anymore. The nightmare was always the same for Grace. Sometimes her brother was there. Sometimes Dani was there. But always, Grace could never help either of them. 

Dani ran her hand back and forth across Grace’s lower back as she came down. Her breathing returned to normal. Grace did not say anything. She just stood up and changed her shirt into a dry one. This was becoming a regular occurrence, and Dani did not like it at all. She did not like what it was doing to Grace. She understood that many soldiers had issues with PTSD and nightmares these days. It was a fact of life for everyone, really. But this was happening to Grace, to the woman Dani loved intensely. She had asked Grace to consider seeing the on-base counselor. It couldn’t hurt. Grace was loath to accept any kind of mental health services. It just made her feel weak, like something was wrong with her. It wasn’t just about her, though. Dani was affected by Grace’s demons too. 

Grace laid back in the bed, and Dani laid down against her, wrapping an arm around the blonde’s midsection. She held her close, her fingers touching the scar on her side. They’d taken the stiches out a few days ago and Dani tried to keep Grace from scratching it all the time. Grace was stubborn, and Dani knew this. She simply accepted that the blonde was doing the best she could with the end of the world. 

Dani needed to get Grace back into action before they both lost their minds.


	16. Unthinkable

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Come, break me down.  
> Bury me, bury me.  
> I am finished with you.  
> Look in my eyes.  
> You're killing me, killing me.  
> All I wanted was you."
> 
> -30 Seconds To Mars

Dani leaned over the bed in the light streaming from the bathroom and kissed Grace goodbye. She turned, shut the light off, and left the sleeping warrior for the day. Dani’s days had always started early, but now that she was the commander, her days started even earlier. Instead of going in at 6am, now she was in every morning at 4. 

The war against the machines had been very slow lately. It was as if both sides were waiting for the other to strike first. Dani remembered from the war college books she read about World War I; the Central Powers and the Allied Powers engaged in trench warfare in France and Belgium. She remembered reading the stories about “no man’s land”, an area between the trenches where nothing lived. The area was full of barbed wire and dead soldiers. It stood as a monument to terror during the war, reminding each side what would become of them if they crossed the line. Dani felt like Humanity and Legion were those warring powers. Everything outside was no man’s land. If either took a step forward, death and destruction would ensue. This stalling of the war was troublesome to Dani. She knew that the best way to get on with it and incur a decisive victory was to strike. The machines had them surrounded, from the Mississippi River to the border with Canada. Legion submersibles patrolled along the Gulf of Mexico, bringing the Western Militias into a corral. Dani required unification among the groups. Dani required total war to open the supply lines back up with the East coast. The cost would be unreasonable. Loss of human life was inevitable, and Dani had to wonder if the lives of the few who remained were worth risking the lives of many who would fight. But laying in the trenches, waiting for someone to shoot first, was getting out of hand. Humanity could not wait out the machines, no matter how well supplied the Resistance was. 

Dani called for a meeting between the commanding officers of every militia west of the great river. Anyone who could get to Fort Bliss was needed. She intended to break the stalemate and move forward. It was a bold idea, but humanity couldn’t wait forever. They would attack to the south, near the gulf, creating a diversion. Legion would have to move there to assist. While Legion forces were on the move south, the Resistance would move East and take the Mississippi back. Her assistant, Corporal Jakes, took the message to be transmitted. Dani knew that communications west was spotty most of the time. Messages were often delivered by helicopters or trucks. It was dangerous, sending anyone out on the roads to deliver anything at all, but this was an important message. Dani had access to new weapons and machines that would help everyone involved. She had a continuous supply with manufacturing operations south of the Rio Grande. New rifles were being delivered daily. A single Scorpion could drop 25 soldiers into combat and take them out quickly. Repurposed HKs wired with missiles could bring on the damage to Legion. Once the Eastern tunnel was completed, and the new machines had a place to take off from, Dani planned to send each militia everything she could give them. The posts across the Midwest had not fared well, as she had been told. Fort Leavenworth, in Kansas, had taken a massive hit earlier this year, and most of the combat units were now scattered, along with much of the equipment. Tanks, trucks, choppers, and jets were in various states of disrepair because many of the ordnance battalions were east of the Legion blockade. The few remaining in operation were too far north in Minnesota, or too far west in California. Dani needed mechanics, pilots, and far more boots than she had in the West. The call for unification was going to be loud. 

Grace woke up alone, as usual. It was hard for her when Dani wasn’t there with her in the mornings anymore. Grace understood the importance of Dani’s presence in the command center. It would just be nice to wake up holding her once in a while. Grace shook off the sleep and hypnosis of some far-off dream about machines. Today, she decided, she would ask Dani if she could learn how to fly choppers and the cargo planes on base. Not that Grace wasn’t interested in front line combat anymore, but she really had an interest in flying now. The more versatile she was, the better she could serve the commander and the Resistance as a whole. She dressed quickly and headed to the mess hall. She found that she was starving when she woke up. 

Penny Emery was in her usual post for the morning, tracking a stack of new books that had been recently returned. Grace entered the library and waved off the private assigned to watch over Penny. The soldiers all knew Grace, and knew Grace would take care of Major Emery’s wife. After shelving all the incoming books, Grace took her usual place at the back of the library. She had the Chinook maintenance manual and the C1-30 manual to go over today. Grace was getting anxious all over again. She had read all the manuals cover to cover. Penny was great company, but Grace needed more to do. She volunteered on weekends in the mess hall and was able to access the gym whenever she wanted. It just was not enough for her. She had not really seen the rest of the Carlsbad Rangers since their arrival at the base. Grace missed Vanda and Henry a great deal, but she knew they were out doing reconnaissance and gathering supplies. Grace had completely healed from her encounter with the Rev-7. She was ready to go back out. 

By the end of the afternoon, Grace was ready to start climbing the walls. She was missing Dani terribly. She and Penny closed up the library at 7, and Grace escorted the old woman back home. Penny was not having a good day. She could not remember Grace’s name, and kept calling her Andrew. Grace had no idea who that was, and did not think that arguing with Penny about reality was a great idea. So, she just let herself be Andrew for the day. Whoever he was, Penny loved him. 

Grace let her mind wander as she took the short walk back to the room she shared with the commander. She thought about that early morning ambush with the Revs. She had run into the older humanoid machines before. They were frightening because of how powerful they were. They could have limbs blown off and still keep coming. Grace had emptied entire clips and magazines into those early machines to no great effect. Turns out, one carefully placed bulled it the neck would disconnect the humanoid machines from Legion’s network. The two ghosts behind the fence outside of the Carlsbad post were Grace’s doing. She wanted them to be a reminder that she was not to be fucked with. Seeing those two broken things moving without purpose always made her feel better. Tonight, however, nothing seemed to satisfy. Grace was restless. 

When she punched in the security code to the shared room, she was pleasantly surprised to find Dani home. The Commander was sitting at her desk, hair disheveled from where she’d been running her hand through it. Grace knew that was something Dani did when she worried too much about things. Dani glanced up at Grace and whispered hello, immediately putting her attention back on whatever she had in front of her. Grace stopped just inside the door and removed her boots and socks. She padded across the area rug to stand beside her partner. Grace dropped a gentle hand against Dani’s back, stroking slowly with long fingers. Dani was writing something in her illegible handwriting. She had about a half a page finished, and seemed to struggle with the rest. 

“What’s that?” Grace inquired, as she moved directly behind Dani to begin rubbing the commander’s shoulders. “You’re really tense, sweetheart.” Grace softly worked the muscles in Dani’s shoulders and shoulder blades, careful not to rub against her spine. Dani dropped her arms to her side and immediately relaxed int Grace’s care. She closed her eyes and leaned her head back, resting against Grace’s belly. 

“That feels amazing. Don’t stop.” Dani was on the verge of moaning every time Grace moved her hands in a certain way, rubbing out all the knots she’d built up. Grace hummed softly, proud to take care of Dani this way. It was something private that only Grace could do for her. Grace leaned down over Dani and unbuttoned her fatigue shirt all the way. Grace dropped gentle kisses along Dani's neck and jaw. Her hands came back up to Dani’s shoulders where Grace helped her remove the over shirt. Dani did not like wrinkles. Grace hung up her shirt, and moved back to continue the rub down. 

“I have to round up the commanding officers of all the western bases and outposts. We are going to make a move soon. We need to stand and fight as one army against these fuckers.” Dani explained as Grace dug into her back muscles. Grace’s fingers were nimble and sensitive to every knot that Dani could feel. She worked each with great care, not too hard, and not so soft that the knots remained. Grace knew how hard Dani’s job had just become. 

“That sounds pretty big. Can I ask what your plan is?” Grace loved knowing the tactical things about the war. Just because she was a ranger stuck in a rotting half-assed outpost in the middle of nowhere, didn’t mean she wasn’t interested in how things worked. Grace was actually looking forward to some activity soon. 

“I can’t say just yet. It’s just an idea for now, until I can get the rest of the officers gathered and see what we have to work with.” Dani took a deep breath and moaned loudly, leaning harder into Grace’s thumbs. “That feels so good. I love the way you take care of me.” Dani pushed back from the desk and stood to face Grace. 

“Want to go take a shower with me?” Dani gazed up into the loving blue eyes of her lover. She placed her fingertips against Grace’s chest, slowly trailing them down, over her perfect breasts, across her sensitive nipples, over her abs, and hooking into the waistband of Grace’s uniform pants. 

“Can we talk about something first?” Grace stroked Dani’s cheek, pushing a rebel strand of hair back behind her ear. Dani’s gaze hardened from something seductive to something more concerned. The tone of Grace’s voice sounded urgent. 

“Of course. What’s up?” Dani kept her hold on Grace’s pants, pulling herself closer against the tall blonde. 

“In the library, which is a great job, by the way, I love Penny. I love the books. Speaking of books, I’ve been reading maintenance manuals for different helicopters here on base, and one for a C1-30s that Major Emery says they still use.” Grace tried to keep the excitement out of her voice. Dani cocked her head to the side, waiting for the other shoe to drop. She was pretty sure what Grace was going to ask next. “Anyway, I think I would like to go work at the airfield. I’ve talked to Major Emery and he said that they could train me as a mechanic and then as a pilot. And I really think it would suit me right now. I need to do something different with myself. I’ll always be a combat soldier. But I just want to do something really helpful to the Resistance. I probably would never fly combat missions, but you never know when you need an emergency flyer. At least that’s what Emery said.” Grace pulled back, bit her bottom lip and hoped for the best from Dani. 

Dani was exhausted and did not want to argue with Grace. She calculated the risks of letting Grace go outside every day. She knew the blonde’s life expectancy would drop considerably. Then again, Major Emery was outside with his crew every single day. There was, after all, the underground bay door that they could escape into if trouble came looking for them. Dani’s heart was fighting this request, because she wanted Grace by her side for the rest of their lives. She wasn’t willing to add to the possibility that something bad could happen to the soldier. She leaned against Grace, feeling more and more relaxed in the young woman’s arms. “Let me think about it for a little while. Come with me.” 

“Yes, Commander.” Grace let her pull her to the bed by the waistband of her pants. Grace felt the beginnings of arousal as her body responded to Dani’s closeness. They made love slowly, taking their time with each other. This brand of sex was something Grace was enjoying very much. She loved learning how to control herself and give Dani multiple orgasms before she allowed herself to climax. She loved being gentle and careful, fortifying every touch with as much love as she had to give. Grace was finding out that the well of love inside her, the one that existed purely for Dani, was infinite. Afterward, they showered together, again taking their time with each other. They did not get to spend as much time together these days, so every moment counted and was turned into something special. 

As they lay together in bed, Dani rolled over against Grace’s side. The blonde automatically raised up her arm to allow Dani to snuggle against her chest. “Grace. I want you to be happy. I know that’s hard right now when we’re fighting for our lives. You know as well as I do that it’s not safe outside, even with Major Emery.” Dani began. 

Grace cut her off. “But, Dani, I will be safe! I'll be with Major-” Dani put a finger to Grace’s lips. 

“Let me finish, love. You know it’s not safe. But I’ve given it a lot of thought. You spent years outside, on foot, with the rangers. You came back alive with most of them that day. I understand how smart you are and how brave you are, how you want to be helpful in every single way. It’s something I love about you. I won’t deny you, as your Commander and your partner, the chance to learn something new.” 

Grace felt her heart jump up in her throat. She sat to look at the brunette, a toothy grin plastered across her face. “Really? You’ll let me do it?” Dani nodded. She had to trust Grace. She suddenly felt two long and strong arms encircle her, pull her in, and squeeze her tightly. “You won’t regret it, Dani. Thank you thank you thank you thank you!” 

Dani had to admit, seeing Grace so happy was worth saying yes. Part of her worried deeply. But every Resistance soldier, herself included would risk their lives soon enough. “Report to Major Emery in the morning. See that Penny gets a decent escort, and explain to her why you are doing this. That’s all I ask.” 

Grace hugged her tight. She was in seventh heaven. She finally found something that she actually wanted to do that was relevant and useful besides just shooting terminators. Grace had never felt like this before. “Thank you, Dani. I love you.” Dani pulled away to look at Grace. She had never said that before. At least not in such a direct way. 

“I love you, too, Grace. More than you’ll ever know.” 

They relaxed again and watched Dune. Dani was getting very sleepy. Grace held her against her chest, running her fingers through the soft mane of brown hair. On screen, Paul Atreides was teaching the Fremen how to use the weirding module. It was a sonic weapon that utilized voice amplification as a pulse. Grace was entranced by the process. She admitted to Dani that the Resistance needed something cool like that. From the edge of sleep, Dani replied, “we have a cache of new rifles that fire spent uranium shells. They blow big holes in the machines.” 

“Was that classified?” Grace teased. 

“Probably. Shhh.” Dani drifted off, completely relaxed in Grace’s grasp. 

The nightmare started the same way. Grace was immobile. She was standing in the road, paralyzed. The machines began to replicate: two into four, four into a hundred. They marched toward her, spears flying at her body. The piercing of her skin, her own screams choked by her blood. So much blood. 

The boy appeared behind the terminators. He stood, unmoving, staring. Grace had to get to him, but he was suddenly being led away by the man in a dark brown coat. The silent scream filled her lungs but she never made a sound. She tried to run to her brother, but she could not get there fast enough. The Revs began to fall away, dropping to the ground where they became pieces of scattered concrete. Grace was back at the old Honda Civic, hiding in the dust. She watched the man in the brown coat pull her brother away. Grace could do nothing but open her mouth to scream. 

She was back in the camp, eating meat cooked over an open fire. The big man’s hands were on her shoulders, pulling her into the dimly lit corridor of the shelter. He was not the same man, but he was. He turned to her and his face morphed into the one Grace had memorized, the one she hated. The one she vowed to exact revenge on. But she was so little. Grace cried. She struggled. But nothing could stop him. She kicked to get free of him. He laughed at her about the little boy. He kept repeating, “he was so good. He was so goooooooood”. Grace wanted to hurt him. Grace wanted to kill him. Grace launched herself upward, catching him around the neck. She was so small but so fucking angry at the man in the brown coat.

Dani woke to two large hands around her throat. She could not breathe. Grace was hovering over her, strangling her. Dani gripped Grace’s wrists, trying to break free. She tried to scream, but she could not make anything but choking sounds and gurgles. She felt like her head was going to explode. Dani was a great hand-to-hand combat fighter, but Grace was too strong. She jerked her entire body back and forth, but Grace had her arms pinned under her knees. Clearly, Grace was not in there. She was gone somewhere else. 

Dani finally managed to wedge her knee up between them and hammer it into Grace’s stomach. She rolled over when the blonde released her and fell off the edge of the bed. Dani scrambled to get to the door. She tried to scream again, to wake Grace up, but nothing came out but coughing and wheezing. Grace was on top of her again, eyes wide and glowing blue like an acetylene torch. Dani was terrified. This wasn’t Grace. This was a fucking nightmare. Grace landed on her hard, sending Dani crashing down on the hard floor on her belly. It knocked the wind out of her. Grace’s hand was pushing her face down and the other hand was grabbing for Dani’s sleep pants. Dani could not understand what was happening, but she knew if she did not get away, Grace was going to kill her. Grace ripped Dani’s pants down and fumbled with her own, pinning Dani by the face. Dani swung her arms and legs out in every direction, trying to push Grace off. 

“Grace!” She finally managed. It was weak, but effective. “Grace! Stop!” 

The blonde seemed to hear her. She slowed herself as she came back to full wakefulness. She realized how she had Dani pinned face down on the floor, her pants down around her thighs. What the hell am I doing? Grace was terrified. Her cock was hard as iron. What had she done? Dani quickly shifted underneath her and slammed her fist right into Grace’s nose. Grace felt the bone crack and the cartilage buckle beneath the blow. Grace fell back, sprawling on the floor behind Dani, who was backing up against the wall away from her. Grace had never seen Dani so frightened. Grace’s heart shattered into a million tiny pieces in every direction. What... had... she... done? 

“Dani... are you...oh God, Dani!” Grace held her nose, feeling the warm gush of blood flowing down over her lips and chin. She moved toward Dani, sending the small brunette crouching into a ball against the door. Grace was still trying to make sense of what had happened. Dani reached up behind her and opened the door. Light from the hallway flooded in, illuminating the scene. 

“Get out.” Dani’s voice was low, just a growl. Grace did not hesitate. She stood and staggered out as the heavy metal door slammed behind her.


	17. Mantle

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "White shirt now red, my bloody nose  
> Sleepin', you're on your tippy toes  
> Creepin' around like no one knows  
> Think you're so criminal  
> Bruises on both my knees for you  
> Don't say thank you or please  
> I do what I want when I'm wanting to  
> My soul? So cynical."
> 
> -Billie Eilish

Grace fell back against the wall in the hallway as the door slammed shut. She could taste blood in her mouth and felt it running down the back of her throat. She spit out a mouthful onto the tile floor in front of her. Her senses were reeling. What had just happened? Everything had been fine before Grace fell asleep. The nightmare had caused this. But why was Grace clawing at Dani’s clothes and her own? What was she going to do to Dani? None of it made sense. The only thing she knew was that she could not stand there all night. She could not go back to Dani either. 

Grace staggered down the hall, her head spinning. Her eyes watered from being punched in the face. Dani put a lot of anger, fear, shame, and strength behind that punch. Grace was pretty sure her nose was broken, and she deserved it. How could she do that to Dani? After everything the commander had done for her lately. Grace could not understand. Tears fell freely from Grace’s eyes. She did not even know where to go. She could go talk to Major Emery but she did not want to upset Penny. She did not know what to do. Dani would know what to do, but Grace had just fucked that up completely. 

She made her way down to the barracks, where she might find Henry and Vanda, if they were home. Maybe Grace could just find an empty bunk to hunker down in till morning. She felt beyond terrible. Guilt deeper than hell crept up around her, suffocating her, dragging her down. She was sobbing, her chest aching and spasming with each haggard breath she took. Dani. She’d hurt Dani badly. 

Grace found Henry, tucked up in a bottom rack close to the entrance of the darkened barracks. The only light was the red lettering of the EXIT sign. She knelt beside him and gently shook him awake. 

“Henry, I need your help.” 

Henry rolled over to look at her. “Grace? What the fuck happened to you?” He sat up, shaking off sleep. He threw his legs over the edge of the bed, and Grace collapsed between them falling against his body. Henry had never seen her like this. He put an arm around her. “Grace, what happened?” 

“Dani. Go check on Dani, please, Henry!” Grace’s whisper was urgent. Vanda rolled out of the top bunk above them and landed on the floor with a quiet thump. 

“What the fuck? Grace? What happened to your face?” Vanda bent over to look at Grace’s broken nose. 

“Please, go find her. Make sure she’s ok.” Vanda peeled off in the direction of the residential halls. 

Henry tipped Grace’s head back to look. He could not see anything in the darkness. He stood and hauled Grace up with him, leading her to the latrines. Under the florescent lights, he checked her face. In the mirror behind Henry, Grace could see that her lower face was covered in blood. Her nose had a deep cut across the bridge where Dani’s knuckle had landed solid. The front of her white t-shirt was soaked. “Grace, what the fuck happened?” Henry asked, genuinely confused. “Who were you fighting with?” This wasn’t the first time Grace had been in a fist fight with another soldier. Henry took a wash cloth from a pile of clean ones meant for community use, and ran it under the cold water in the sink. He squeezed out the excess water, and began to wipe Grace’s face off. She stood completely still and let him do it. 

“Dani. I hurt her.” Henry could see that Grace was trembling all over. He kept wiping her face off, clearing the blood from her nostrils and lips. She had spatters of blood on her forehead and ears, presumably from where the punch exploded initially. Henry dabbed it all off. Grace looked at Henry for the first time since she got there. He wasn’t wearing anything but a pair of black boxers and black socks up to his knees. “Henry. I don’t know.... I was asleep... the next thing I knew, I was on top of her on the floor.” Grace choked on the words. She began to cry and could not stop. She was in agony. 

Henry set a steadying hand on her shoulder, pulling her to sit on the toilet before she fell down. He left briefly to go put a shirt on. He brought her a clean one. She sat, head back, holding the bloody cloth to her nose. She could only breathe through her mouth. Henry knelt in front of her in the stall, hands on her knees. “Grace, do you have nightmares?” She nodded without looking at him. “Ever since that morning with the Revs and HKs, so do I. I’ve never been through anything like that. It sounds like you had a psychotic episode. You were awake, but asleep. Do you remember anything about it?” 

Grace told him the only thing she could remember was the nightmare, how it was always the same, and then hearing Dani’s voice in the darkness. Next, she remembered being on top of her, holding her down getting ready to... She could not bring herself to say it. 

“Ok, Grace. You can’t go back there tonight. Vanda’s gone to check on her. How bad did you hurt her?” 

“I don’t know. Bad enough for her to cower and punch me.” Grace knew it was bad. Dani might recover physically, but Grace had wounded her so deep that it might never heal. Grace changed out of the bloody shirt, handing it to Henry while she pulled on the clean one. Henry averted his eyes. Grace did not seem to care about nudity right then. He had seen all sides of Grace before, but never naked. He didn’t feel comfortable starting now. Everyone knew that Grace was with Commander Ramos. No one dared touch that relationship. It was concrete. But maybe not now. 

“Come on, Harper. There’s nothing you can do tonight. Let’s get you settled.” Henry took Grace by the hand and led her back to the open expanse of bunk beds. There was an empty bunk, two rows down from Henry. He helped Grace get settled. He pulled the wool blanket over her chest. He brought her a clean, cool, wet cloth and laid it across her forehead. Henry reached down and squeezed her shoulder. “I’m right over there. Try and get some sleep. We’ll sort this out in the morning.” 

But Grace did not sleep. Not even a little bit. She felt like a monster. She felt like one of the machines, or some former version of herself from before she met Dani. She felt like the Grace who just took what she wanted when she wanted it. She felt empty and wrong for being born the way she was. She felt like a failure who couldn’t protect her brother. She could not protect Dani from that Grace. She did not even know who she was anymore. Everything Grace ever hated about herself was bubbling close to the surface. Tears streamed from her eyes down into her ears. 

Vanda knocked lightly on Dani’s door. There was no answer. “Commander? It’s Private Vanda? I came to check on you.” Vanda spoke closely to the door, trying not to disturb the entire hallway. There was no response. Vanda tried the door, but it was locked. She knocked again, waiting until the door began to open just a crack. Dani peeked around the door. The room was dark inside. 

“Vanda, what?” Dani clearly did not want company. 

“Grace. She sent me to see if you were ok.” Vanda scanned Dani’s face. Her eyes were extremely bloodshot, from crying or something else, Vanda could not be sure. “Are you ok, Commander?” 

Dani realized that Vanda was not just here on a mission from Lt. Harper. Vanda was honestly concerned about her. Dani backed up and let the door swing open. She invited Vanda inside and shut the door behind her. It’s not that Dani trusted her, so much as she did not want to converse in the hallway. 

Amelia Vanda wore a pair of black sleep pants, a hooded sweatshirt and had no shoes or socks on. Her hair was down. It was the first time Dani ever saw her so unorganized. Vanda was always clean and neat, even if she was filthy from time in the field. Vanda was average height, athletic and looked like she could hold her own even without armor and weapons. Vanda had played basketball in high school; volleyball too. She was fairly popular and made friends easily. Amelia Vanda did not particularly like Commander Ramos. It was partly because of the verbal reprimand she received in David’s office that day. It was partly because Vanda felt like the commander had stolen Grace from her. Her relationship with Grace was completely platonic, but it was the deepest friendship Vanda ever had. “What happened, Commander? Please, Grace is really fucked up right now.” 

“Where is she?” Dani was obviously concerned with Grace’s well-being. She backed up and sat down on the edge of the bed, motioning for Vanda to take the desk chair. 

“Barracks. With Henry. Commander? Are you ok?” Vanda leaned in to look Dani over, noting her eyes were beginning to look more than bloodshot. Dani had a wool blanket draped over her shoulders, pulled up tight around her throat. She did not want anyone to see. She did not answer Vanda’s question. She was quiet, not knowing how to process this. 

“I woke up and she was on top of me. Like, literally, sitting on my chest, pinning my arms down. She was choking me.” Dani just started talking, opening the floodgates. “I tried to yell but I couldn’t make a sound. It wasn’t her, Vanda. It was not Grace.” 

Vanda reached forward, gently pulling the blanket away from Dani’s neck. Dani recoiled and Vanda stopped, hand still outstretched. “I just want to look. I won’t touch you, Dani. OK?” Vanda’s concern was real. Her tone was subdued and gentle. She moved back in carefully, and Dani allowed her to pull the blanket down to see. Her throat bore the already purple imprints of two large hands. Finger prints extended almost clear around her neck. Vanda stared, but said nothing. She reached and pulled the blanket back up for Dani. She leaned back and asked again, “Commander, are you ok? Would you like me to take you to the hospital?” 

Dani shook her head. For all the words she could ever conjure, nothing compared to how she was feeling. She was scared of Grace for the first time ever. And that feeling tore her apart. Dani met Vanda’s eyes, seeing how deep green they were, with amber near the center. This was the first time Dani actually saw Vanda as a person and not just a pair of boots. From day one at the Carlsbad outpost, Dani thought of Vanda as an enemy of the Resistance. Now, however, she took it all back. 

“Can you breathe ok? Can you swallow?” Vanda was doing what all field medics do, making sure that a person’s airway, breathing, and circulation were intact. “Did she hit you? Anywhere?” Dani shook her head. 

“I don’t think so. It all happened fast.” 

“Did she hurt you any other way?” Dani looked down at the floor, ashamed of what had nearly taken place. She knew it wasn’t her fault, but the brutality that Grace had shown her was crushing. “Dani, did Grace rape you?” 

Dani flashed Vanda an accusing look. “What? NO. She would never.” The truth was far more excruciating. If Dani had not been able to cry out, she would have been seriously hurt or worse. 

Vanda nodded. “It’s not my place to say this, but you should know something about Grace.” 

Amelia Vanda told Dani about Grace, how sometimes she wanted to eat a bullet. How she postured and dared herself to do it every now and then when they ran into a skinner convoy. Vanda told her about how Grace never recovered from the loss of her brother. Grace had one more secret. She had gone in with a group of skinners right after he disappeared. They weren’t the group that took him, but she thought maybe she could find him through them. Grace stayed with them for weeks before running away. Grace had tasted human flesh on more than one occasion, and she had alluded to the other horrors of being small in a camp of unscrupulous men. Grace hated herself on a level so deep, not even Dani could understand it. Grace needed help that no one could give her. Vanda said she was actually surprised this had not happened sooner. 

“How do you know this? Why would she never tell me this?” Dani clutched the blanket around her shoulders. 

“She’s been my best friend for three years. We’ve fought together and bled together, killed together.” Vanda offered no better explanation than the fact that soldiers were just sometimes fucked up. Dani understood now, that Grace might be missing her. She’d been thrown into an entirely alien world: the new base, the new relationship, displacement from the only job she’d ever known, and her cadre of friends who were tighter than family. 

“Take me to her, Vanda. Please. I need to see her for myself.” 

“Are you sure? Do you think that’s a really good idea? Maybe some space would be safe. At least until tomorrow, Dani. This is fucked up. She could snap again tonight and kill you in her sleep. It’s a fine line with Grace. I woke up with her holding a knife to my throat one night. You’re right, though. It’s not Grace. The Grace we know would never do that. This is subconscious. She has no control over it.” 

Grace was not a monster, but she had one inside of her. Dani needed to get her some help. Dani was Grace’s partner and would not let her go it alone. Not ever again. 

“Take me to her, Vanda. Please.” Dani stood and put her sneakers on. 

“Ok. Whenever you’re ready.” Vanda stood and watched Dani steady herself physically and emotionally. Vanda did not think Dani was ready for this, and it was not a smart idea. Grace needed to come down a little more. Vanda had seen Grace fight. She was ruthless and scary. 

Dani moved to the door, opened it and let Vanda lead her to the barracks. 

Grace held the cloth to her forehead. It was warm now, but it felt like it was holding her together. She tried to swallow down the guilt and horror of what she had done. She loved Dani. She was protective of her. Even against herself. Especially, Grace reminded herself, of herself. She still could not make the connection between the dream and trying to strangle and then forcibly take Dani. She could not understand why the two were interlinked at all. It was not even something she could think her way through. It was a nameless feeling, a drive, something instinctual that Grace had no control over. Would she have really hurt Dani like that? Grace could no longer trust herself with the only woman she could ever love. 

The footsteps at the door of the barracks grew louder. Grace held still and closed her eyes, wishing herself to be invisible. She heard Henry get up out of his bunk. Hushed whispers forced Grace’s eyes open. It could be the MP’s coming to haul her off. She would not have blamed Dani one bit for calling them. She deserved to be locked up for what she’d done. She tried not to look, but three people were headed right for her. She felt someone drop down beside her. 

“Grace, look at me.” Vanda’s voice had regained some of its force. Grace looked over at Vanda, and saw Dani standing behind her. 

“Oh, no. No. No. No.” Grace cried. She rolled over and faced away from Dani. She couldn’t even look at her now. She couldn’t be seen anymore. Grace felt herself cracking wide open. “No. No. Noooo. I’m sorry. NO....” 

Dani moved in beside her. “Grace.” That voice. The one Grace knew so intimately. That quiet, gentle version of Dani that Grace had come to love so deeply and nearly just destroyed was sitting on the bunk beside her. Grace cringed at the hand that rested on her side. Dani did not bother with formalities or social rules. They were more than lovers and partners. Their bond was deeper than anything Grace ever knew or thought she would ever know again. Dani held her hand steady over the scar on Grace’s side, rubbing her thumb back and forth over the raised skin beneath the cotton t-shirt. Grace bawled, curling her legs up to her chest. Dani just held her hand in place, offering Grace her ceaseless compassion. 

Dani nodded to Vanda and Henry, and they returned to their bunks. Henry whispered to Vanda before he laid down, two beds away, taking first watch. Vanda climbed into bed just above him and tried to sleep. 

Grace wept until she was empty. She felt more than empty though. She felt like the deluge of emotion had been ripped out of her and she was bleeding to death. Dani never faltered. She never left Grace’s side. She coughed once, and Grace could hear the wheezy rasp of her breath, which made Grace sink even lower. At some point, Grace lost consciousness, and Dani was grateful for the escape it provided her. 

Dani sat with her all night, gently rubbing the blonde’s shoulders and back. Dani remembered a friend from before the war, who was in an abusive relationship with a man she loved very much. Dani remembered always encouraging her friend to leave him. She wondered if this is what it felt like to not want to leave. Grace was aggressive when they first met, but never once hurt her. Grace had transformed right before Dani’s eyes, becoming a far gentler creature, resembling the Grace she knew the first time. She did not honestly believe that Grace would have intentionally hurt her. Either of the Graces had shown expert levels of self-control with Dani. She knew she would recover from this. It was not even a question. Her command of the militias was at stake. Dani had to hold it all together. She was not all fucked up inside about this. She understood the invisible and abhorrent forces at work inside Grace. 

The morning lights flickered on in the barracks, presenting the cold, stark walls and tiles. It was not a comfortable atmosphere, even on a good day. Snoring bodies began to wake under the bright lights. Dani sat with her back against the metal bed frame next to Grace. During the night, Grace had rolled over against her and laid her head in Dani’s lap. Whether it was conscious or not, Dani couldn’t know. She let her lover lay there, and offered her a place of safety to exist through this. Grace meant everything to her. She rested her hand on Grace’s head, her fingers stroking through the golden locks of hair. Grace began to wake up. Dani looked down and whispered “slowly, my love. Very slowly.” She didn’t want Grace to suddenly remember what happened and jerk away. She needed Grace to take a moment to adjust. Dani held Grace’s head in her hands, whispering to her. “Rest easy, love. I’m here.” 

Grace felt it all flood back in. She felt like she had been drugged. Her nose was throbbing and had bled again all over the pillow. Dani was long-suffering in her love and patience for Grace. She helped the blonde warrior draw things out instead of reacting explosively. With Dani, Grace had time to think. She submitted herself to Dani, letting her hold her there, feeling the commander’s kindness sweep through her like a strong wind. 

When Grace felt she was ready to face everything, she sat up slowly. Henry and Vanda sat on the edge of Henry’s bunk, vigilant. Dani was impressed with their loyalty to Grace and their concrete friendships together. Dani sat where she was, determined to show Grace she was still not afraid of her. 

Grace focused her eyes on Dani’s. She could see how the strangulation had left the whites of Dani’s eyes blown out, turning them blood-red. She felt a powerful wave of nausea. How would Dani ever forgive her for this? She looked at Dani’s throat, bearing the imprints of her own two hands. She shook her head and looked away, letting the shame consume her again. Dani just allowed her to feel it. “You can feel whatever you need to feel, but please don’t run from this. We will work through it, Grace.” 

“But Dani, look at you. I did that to you.” Grace could not bring herself to look. 

“It looks worse than it is. Anyway, I know more than you think. I understand what happened. I understand why. Maybe even better than you do. But Grace, you need to get some help for this. I am adamant about that. I cannot go through this again. I want you to contact the base psychiatrist, Emma Montoya. She’s good. Please understand, that if you won’t get help to get some of this sorted out, I cannot be with you alone.” Dani’s tone was not condemning, and this was not an ultimatum. Grace wiped away tears and nodded. She would do anything for this woman whose kindness and compassion just kept on saving her. Even if doing something meant exposing her darkest secrets to a shrink. Dani turned to Grace, holding the blonde’s chin in her hands, making her keep eye contact. Dani could read her shame like a newspaper headline. It radiated off of Grace’s body. She put one hand in the middle of Grace’s chest, like she did that first day back at Carlsbad. She whispered softly. “That’s good enough for me.” She leaned in and kissed Grace, feeling the blonde lean into it. Dani wrapped her arm around the young warrior’s neck, feeling Grace’s hand, tremulous and frightened, move to touch her throat. Dani let her, knowing that Grace needed to feel the reality of it, to register the severity. 

Dani pulled back and regarded Grace. Her punch had landed solidly, and had most certainly broken the blonde’s nose. Dani almost felt bad about it, but realized it had been a necessary evil. She caressed the side of Grace’s face with both hands, wiping away tears. 

“Ok, tough guy?” Dani even managed a little smile, which told Grace everything she needed to know about her place beside Daniella Ramos. 

Grace nodded, “Ok.”


	18. Healer

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "There is fire there is lust  
> Some will trade it all for someone they could trust  
> There's a bag of silver for a box of nails  
> It's so simple the betrayal  
> Though it's known to change the world and what's to come.
> 
> Come on home, the team you're hitched to has a mind of its own  
> But it's just the forces of your past you've fought before  
> Come back here and shut the door  
> I'm stacking sandbags against the river of your troubles."
> 
> -Indigo Girls

Dani went to work late, taking a little extra time to prepare for anything that would be said about her throat and face. Grace went back to the room later, after Dani left, to shower and prepare to meet Emma Montoya, the base’s prized therapist. Both Dani and Grace had agreed to meet for dinner and see where things were between them. 

Dani assured Grace that this would not end their relationship. Grace reassured Dani about a hundred times that she was sorry and would get help. Grace was scared. She did not just open up to people. Half of what Dani knew about her was told to her by Vanda and David. It took Grace years to cover the past and become strong enough to deal with the horrors she had endured. Dani was proof that her façade was cracking and the atrocities Grace had experienced were leaking out into her real life. Grace took the long walk from home down to Montoya’s office. She didn’t even know if she would be seen when there were probably 100 people in line ahead of her. Dani’s words echoed in her ears. “You don’t have to talk to me, Grace. But you have to talk to someone. Get this out of you.” Get this out of you. That’s what Dani wanted. She wanted Grace to want that. For Dani, Grace would give it her best effort. Grace worried about not meeting with Penny, but Dani promised to take care of it. She would cut Grace a pass later today to excuse her from all duty until Emma Montoya released her. As Grace approached the office, which looked like a regular storefront, her heart began beating wildly. She wasn’t sure if she was excited or scared. She tried to view this as an opportunity to get better. The problem was, Grace did not know what normal was, or better, or worse. Everything inside Grace was just how life ended up for her. The reason she had to hang onto, instead, was to be better to Dani. 

Commander Ramos sat at her desk in her office, looking over the recent messages from the surrounding outposts. The overwhelming majority had answered her call. The meeting between the commanding officers was set for 5 days from now. Dani had to prepare her plan of attack beforehand. She liked being prepared, rather than trying to shoot from the hip. Her assistant, Jakes, came to bring her a cup of coffee and a bowl of oats from the mess hall. Jakes was aware that when Dani arrived late, she had often not had breakfast. He was a decent kid, another that grew up after the world had ended. As he sat the bowl of oats and her coffee down, Dani asked him to wait a minute. 

“Jakes, do you have nightmares?” 

“Yeah, who doesn’t?” He tried to laugh it off, but he could tell she was being deadly serious. “I can see that everything is not ok, Commander. Is Lt. Harper responsible for this?” 

“No, Jakes, she isn’t. She did this, yes, but it wasn’t her. She was somewhere else, because of a nightmare.” 

“Oh yeah. My dad was like that. He came back from the Middle East before Judgement Day, all fucked up in his head. He’d sleepwalk sometimes. Sometimes he’d wake up screaming. He used to just throw fists in his sleep and hit my mom.” 

“How did your mother deal with it, Corporal?” Dani was very interested to hear this part. 

“She just did, ma’am. She knew it wasn’t his fault. The army broke him. She did her best to fix things before the machines took over, but after that, it was kind of impossible. After the machines, everyone got fucked up in some way. My mom used to say it was just a new reality. There’s no shame in what happened to you. Grace shouldn’t be ashamed either. The machines just... broke her. Maybe you could look at it that way.” 

Dani nodded and dismissed him, “Thanks Jakes.” He turned and shut her office door on the way out. 

Grace sat in the little waiting area, completely alone. She had not made an appointment. The girl working the desk was nice to her and asked her to wait a few minutes so that Dr. Montoya could shift things to see her right away. The walls in the office were bare. Grace though they should be covered in posters of puppies, children, and inspirational quotes. Emma Montoya was in her late 50s. She had short gray hair, swept back and parted to the side. She wore dark military issue glasses. She was wearing the same black fatigues that everyone else on base wore. She had no rank or insignia. 

“Lt. Harper? I’m Emma Montoya. Would you like to come with me?” 

No, Grace immediately thought. She stood up anyway, despite the resistance she was feeling in her body and mind. This went against everything Grace believed in, and yet she couldn’t wait to start talking. 

Emma Montoya took Grace back to her office. Once the door shut behind them, Dr. Montoya told her, nothing left that room. 

Montoya started with basic information about Grace: her name, age, occupation, and where she grew up. Montoya did not ask her what her parents were like or any of her sexual proclivities, like Grace had expected. Montoya wanted to know what it was that brought her in. Grace talked about what happened the night before with Dani. She explained how it wasn’t anything she had any control over. Grace tried to explain it all away before Montoya had a chance to say anything else. 

“Grace. I understand nightmares and PTSD better than you think. I know what it does to people, soldiers in particular. Flashbacks can occur that take you of time and place, dropping you directly back into a memory that seems absolutely real. I have dealt with blackouts, people coming back from nightmares who have no recollection of committing violence. This is something we can deal with. Please, trust me.” 

Upon hearing that, Grace visibly relaxed into the couch to the couch in Montoya’s office. And that was the beginning for Grace Harper’s journey. 

Dani considered everything Jakes had told her about his dad. Dani was always of the mind that if someone you love needs help; you don’t leave them. Unless of course that person is just an abusive asshole all the time. Grace was not that person. Grace deserved every chance she could get. Jakes returned later to ask Dani if she wanted lunch brought to her. She asked him if Major Emery was around, and he told her he’d probably be at the airfield. She thanked him and returned to work. 

The Resistance, the official name for the militias once they formed a cohesive army, had 165 Scorpions and HKs ready to go. Dani worked with the head of engineering to get the plans for the new landing bay finished soon. The structure of the bay was already in place. The engineers were working on the doors and should be finished within the next few weeks depending on Legion activity in the area. Completion of the project would require men to be outside all day long. Dani told him to make them hurry. As soon as the bay was operational, more transports and bunker busters would be brought up through the southern tunnels. Every day, more and more guns and ammunition were arriving from Juarez. Dani needed to inspect it, get a count on what they had, and begin issuing it to the soldiers on base. They would need to train with everything. Commander Ramos was not about to send them into battle with unproven weapons they did not know how to use. She wondered, privately, if a couple of Rev-7s could be captured and brought in for target practice. She would personally like to blow holes in some of those fucking bastards. Dani was intensely angry at the machines and this world for what it had done to Grace. 

After Jakes brought her some lunch, more oats and some apples, Dani decided to go find Major Emery. She trusted his cousel. She also wanted to see about getting a position secured with his maintenance detail for Grace as soon as she was cleared for work again. Dani made the long walk down to the new elevator where she originally entered the base weeks ago. She liked the solitude of the tunnel. Not very many people came and went by that tunnel. She entered the elevator and pressed the up arrow. The sky opened above her. She felt the fresh air hit her face. She closed her eyes and pretended for a moment that she was home. 

The bleak landscape that was once Fort Bliss tore through her memory of home and papi and Diego. It was a stark contrast between her memory and the broken buildings before her. She stepped out of the elevator and watched the ground swallow it back up. She heard someone yell behind her from a distance. Major Emery was walking toward her. 

“What the hell, Commander? You shouldn’t be out here. You’re our numero uno! We can’t afford for you to get picked off by some damned machines right now!” He was hopping mad, but Dani stood her ground. She outranked him and could give him a serious dressing down if she felt so inclined. 

“Major, I need to talk to you.” As Major Emery approached Dani, he began to see the marks on her throat and the blood in her eyes. Dani realized it wasn’t that bad when she looked at it before work. The bruising on her neck would blossom over the next few days, looking worse than it felt. 

“Ramos, what the hell happened to you? Who did that!???” Emery was pissed off now. 

“Grace did it, but it's not what you think.” Dani could see his face getting red. “She’s suffering from PTSD when the Revs attacked her team before you evacuated us. She was dreaming.” 

Emery backed off a little bit. He admitted to seeing his share of fucked up things since the world ended. He wanted to know if Dani was ok, and how she planned on dealing with it. “I’m not leaving her, Major. It’s not in the cards. She’s sick, not evil.” 

“I know, but you also have to protect yourself. If it was me and Penny going through this, I’d make her leave me. I couldn’t live knowing I’d hurt her in any way.” 

“That’s how Grace feels right now. But I’m not going to throw her out all by herself. She needs me right now. And I need her. Major, do you have room for one more on your maintenance detail?” 

“Hell yes, we can always use a new set of hands around here. I’ve got engines that need overhauled, rotors that need repaired. Who you got in mind, Commander?” 

“Lt. Harper, actually. She expressed interest to me yesterday about joining your crew.” Dani explained. 

Emery rocked on his heels, considering it. “Yeah, Penny mentioned something about that. Said since day one in the library, Grace had read every single maintenance manual from cover to cover. Penny couldn’t understand how anyone could sit and read one of those things. Like readin’ the damn phone book. But ok, have her report here at 0700 tomorrow. I’ll sort her out. Now, no disrespect, Commander, but could you please get back inside? You being out here is making me real nervous.” 

Dani nodded, returning back to her hole, deep in the earth. That’s what it felt like anyway. Fuck you, Legion, she thought. Just fuck you. Once back inside, Dani had carved out plenty of time to go down to the fourth sublevel and check the new rifles and ammunition. She was pretty excited about this. Emery had told her the new rifles pack a bit of a punch. 

Entering the vast expanse of the underground bay was just as exciting as it was the first time. The work they had done was phenomenal. All those new machines, ready to go whenever the landing bay was completed, then awaiting her word. Dani stepped down onto the main floor. She wasn’t sure where she was supposed to go. She snagged a tech sergeant and asked for directions. He told her to wait right where she was, as he ran off ahead of her. He returned momentarily with an old pre-war golf cart. “Hop on, Commander.” She sat in the passenger seat as he accelerated toward the opposite end of the dock. She was in awe of what her fellow humans had created. At the end of the bay, she saw wooden crates. Hundreds of them were stacked from floor to ceiling. The tech sergeant slowed the vehicle to a stop. He introduced her to the armory sergeant, Amy Welch. Welch saluted Commander Ramos and prepared her for the tour. 

Welch opened a crate sitting on the floor. She explained that the new rifles did not yet have names. The manufacturers were less concerned with what to call it than how it operated. It was fully automatic, firing depleted uranium shells. The shells were designed to penetrate hardened targets, like Legion machines. Upon penetration, the nose of the shell would split open, but remain sharp and continue its trajectory the resulting heat of the shot would cause the shell to ignite and explode once inside the target. The rifle itself felt good in Dani’s hands. She remembered training years ago with Sarah Connor with the large caliber rifles. “I’d love to fire this.” Dani was saying it more to herself than Sergeant Welch. 

“This way, Commander. Bring that with you.” Dani carried the weapon and followed Welch around the corner where another huge room opened up before her. A firing range. Of course, they had one. Dani spent about 30 minutes learning how the rifle operated, from loading shells to safety features, to optics. There was a specific way to hold it so it did not knock you on your ass in combat situations. Dani got ready as Welch loaded a sheet metal target with a terminator’s face painted on it. 

“Fire when ready, Commander.” Welch put in a set of earplugs and stood back. Dani raised the rifle into the pit of her shoulder, bringing it in nice and tight. She took aim down the sight, drew in a deep breath, let it out, and pulled the trigger. The recoil was shocking and satisfying. She hit the target square in its chest, blowing a hole through the sheet metal. It blew open in such a way, that the bottom half of the target dangled by a thread. “Excellent shot, Commander! Continue!” Dani kept shooting until there was nothing left of the sheet metal. Welch brought up another two targets side by side and Dani lit into them as well. She emptied the rifle into both targets, effectively destroying them. She could not remember a time when she felt so good, without Grace by her side. Grace was going to love these weapons. Once Dani was happy with the result of the test and the count, she got a ride back and returned to her office. 

Dinner was approaching. She would be able to sit with Grace and talk about things. Dani was nervous. She really wished she could tell Grace about the new rifles, but it was all still classified. Soon enough, Grace would have one of her own. For the time being, Dani chose to focus on the outcome of Grace’s first therapy session. She had already decided she wasn’t going to pry into the details, unless Grace wanted to offer her something. 

Dani made her way down to the mess hall on the third sublevel when she saw the tall, blonde warrior ahead of her. “Grace!” Dani meant it to be a loud whisper, but it came out as more of a hiss. Grace stopped and spun around to face her. She was about 30 feet away. Dani motioned for her to follow her. Dani wound around to a small supply room just off the end of the first residence hall. She opened the door, took Grace by the hand and pulled her inside. 

Even if she wanted to, Dani could not keep her hands off the beautiful woman she loved. The closet was dark and tight. Dani didn’t even bother turning on a light. They fumbled for each other in the darkness. Grace wanted to touch Dani, but whispered that she was scared to hurt her. Dani gently found Grace’s hands and placed them on her face. “Besame, mi amour.” Grace loved when Dani spoke Spanish to her. She lowered her head, using her hands as a guide and softly kissed Dani’s mouth. Dani wrapped her arm around Grace’s neck, and deepened the kiss. She flicked her tongue out against Grace’s mouth, seeking permission to connect with her partner. Grace complied and let her in. A soft moan emanated from Grace’s throat. Dani pressed herself firmly into the tall woman’s body, as if they’d been separated by immeasurable time and distance. Grace wrapped her arms around Dani and lifted her up, feeling Dani’s legs secure the brunette around her hips. Grace broke the kiss and held Dani there, pressing their foreheads together. “Hi, baby,” Grace whispered, feeling the brunette’s breath on her face. 

“Hi, love. I’ve missed you. I tried to stay away, and I wanted to keep my distance from you, but I cannot resist. Are you ok?” Dani began kissing Grace again, on her chin, her cheeks, the scar on her jaw, back up to her mouth. Dani wanted Grace to know that she was not angry and still wanted Grace in every way. She just did not know how to tell her properly. None of this made sense. Dani should not want her after being attacked. Everything she knew about sex and forcing oneself upon another battled with her love and desire for the blonde. She put it all away in her mind and tried to focus on the one good thing she had in this world. Grace pulled Dani impossibly close to her body, feeling herself respond to Dani’s touch. 

“Dani, I’m so sorry. I never meant to hurt you.” Grace’s breathing grew short as a wave of emotion rose up inside her. She loved Dani tremendously and would do anything to make this right again. 

“I know, Grace. Shut up and kiss me. We'll talk later tonight. At home. We don’t have much time right now.” 

The supply closet was cold, but Grace and Dani were hot. Grace kissed Dani like it was the last time she would ever see her again. Dani, still wrapped around Grace’s hips, began rocking and grinding against her slowly. Grace moaned and pulled at Dani’s shirt, loosening it enough to get her hand underneath and into the t-shirt below. Grace craved skin contact with her partner. She needed Dani. Dani ground herself down harder against Grace. “I want you inside me, amour.” Dani whispered, as she licked the side of Grace’s neck, biting the skin below her jaw. Dani relied on Grace’s strength to hold her in place as she reached down and unbuttoned Grace’s pants. She reached down inside, stopping short of her goal. “I never even asked if you wanted this. Do you want this, Grace?” 

Grace let out a hard breath, “oh yeah.” She felt strange wanting Dani this way after something so terrible had only just happened. Grace was always able to disconnect herself from her dreams and feelings. Dani had never before been associated with her past. Grace could store it away and focus on the woman who was currently driving her mad. Dani continued her path into Grace’s briefs, finding a stiffening cock. “Mmmmm.” Grace moaned. She let Dani slide out of her arms, listening to the commander take her own pants down. Grace waited for Dani, giving her control over the situation. Grace was afraid to be too rough, even though her desire for Dani was increasing tenfold. Dani found Grace again in the dark, and firmly gripped her hard cock. Dani dropped to her knees and took Grace into her mouth. Hearing Grace’s breath hitch spurred Dani to suck her harder, taking her all the way into her mouth. “Dani, oh my god.” Grace was panting, trying not to thrust her hips in Dani’s face. She felt Dani stand up and loop her arms around Grace’s neck. Grace understood the silent request and picked Dani back up. The commander wrapped her legs around Grace once more, and the blonde reached between them to position herself and Dani’s wet entrance. Grace felt the warm wetness awaiting her and wanted to push deep and fast. But she waited. She took a moment to think about how she was holding Dani, the pressure of each of her fingers against bronze skin, where her face was. Grace was gripping Dani’s thighs too tightly. She was looking up and away from Dani. Grace took a careful step back against the wall. “Lean into me, Dani.” Dani reached under one of Grace’s arms and clutched her back. She wrapped one leg around the other, pulling herself tighter against Grace. She felt Grace drop her head, rubbing her cheek against her own. Grace still held Dani by her thighs, but didn’t grab so tight. It felt better, more comfortable, closer. Grace could feel Dani’s wetness rolling down her hard cock. “Are you ready? I want you to feel good.” Grace was breathless, and being so strong for Dani. It was very much a turn on. Dani replied to Grace by slipping herself down over Grace’s cock, slowly enveloping her, inch by hot, wet inch. Grace felt herself throb inside her lover. Dani clamped her walls around Grace’s dick and began to move in time with the soldier. 

As they ground against each other, pushing and pulling, dragging and thrusting, Grace breathed heavily against Dani’s cheek. “I love you. I’m sorry I hurt you. I understand if you don’t want me around right now. I can’t imagine how you feel.” 

Dani moaned softly as Grace stroked deeply into her, the weight of her words striking Dani right in the heart. Dani gripped Grace’s shoulder tightly, her other hand taking a fistful of blonde hair. “I was never angry with you. This wasn’t your fault. I love you. I always will.” Dani felt Grace throb and twitch inside of her. Clearly, her words had an impact. Grace felt Dani body and soul. She felt closest to her in these very intimate moments, like Dani was an axe and Grace was firewood, driving right through her defenses. Grace loved how Dani cleaved her soul. 

Dani was close, she reached one hand down between them and found her swollen clit. She rubbed it in fast little circles. “That’s it, baby. I want you to feel good.” Grace whispered. 

“You make me feel good. I can’t get enough of you. Grace... just a little harder.” Dani pressed her hips down firmly feeling Grace slip deeper inside her. Grace let a dirty moan escape her lips and Dani reached up to kiss them in an attempt to silence her. The blonde warrior increased her pace and drove herself gently deeper into Dani’s wet center. They both approached their orgasms together. Their timing could not have been better. Dani stopped rubbing herself and let Grace carry her over the edge. She leaned forward and sank her teeth softly into Grace’s neck, holding them both steady while they came. Grace let go and began pumping her seed into Dani’s womb, giving the commander every last bit of herself. Dani’s body convulsed and shook in Grace’s arms. She couldn’t remember a better orgasm with Grace. 

Dani clung to the young woman as her body slowed down finally. Together, in the darkened supply closet, they found a way back to each other. It did not matter what anyone else thought. They were in this together for the long haul.


	19. Aftermath

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “And so this is the measure of me,  
> Even though it shouldn't be  
> The lion lays down with the lamb  
> I can't do it, so I ain't worth a damn.” 
> 
> -Amy Ray

Grace cracked the door to the supply room, poked her head out to make sure the coast was clear. She stepped out, leading Dani into the hallway. Grace straightened her shirt and ran a hand through her hair. Dani walked quickly in front of her, leading the way. Grace was reminded of the ranger formations where she would head up the rear. She felt comfortable walking behind Dani. She was also suddenly feeling very protective of the commander. They walked down the long hallway, single file, heading to dinner. 

Grace found them a table in the corner where no one was sitting. She convinced Dani to sit and wait while she went and brought their food. Dani looked around at the room, feeling eyes on her. She watched as people would glance up from their meals and quickly look away when she saw them. Everyone had probably heard what happened. They were definitely not alone in the barracks last night. Surely, people had overheard. Dani tried hard not to care what everyone might be thinking. It was difficult to wrap her head around the fact that she didn’t seem to mind what had happened, or that she was willing to move forward from it. Her face and throat, however, displayed the violence of the previous evening. She began to regret not hiding it better. She had very defined handprints around her neck. One of her eyes was blood red and the other was not much better. They’d stay that way for days or even weeks. Every time she looked at someone, they’d see what Grace had done to her. She dropped her head, not sure if she felt shame or regret. She did not feel comfortable at all. 

The commotion near the front of the mess hall caught her attention. People were shouting. She looked up and saw some men in a circle, and someone was getting shoved. Grace. 

Dani stood up and watched an enlisted soldier take a swing at the tall blonde. Dani rounded the table and headed straight for the trouble. She pushed her way through the gathering crowd. In the center of the circle, Grace was on the floor, struggling to gain the upper hand in a wrestling match. Grace was a great fighter, but this soldier was huge. He must have outweighed her by at least 100 pounds. He was on top of her, throwing his arm around her neck to form a headlock or a sleeper hold. Grace’s face was beet red. Dani could see that she could not breathe. “How does it feel, Harper!” Men jeered at her and cheered the enlisted man on. 

Dani took a step into the center of the ring and started to pull at the soldier’s arm around the blonde’s neck, trying to pull him off Grace. It was no use. Dani was not strong enough to handle him in this position. She stood, searching the crowd for anyone who would help her. “Goddammit! Don’t just stand there, you motherfuckers!” Dani turned back and started pulling on his arm again. She was no match for his anger and strength. She went around behind him, grabbed a handful of his hair and yanked his head back. He hissed and swore at her, suddenly realizing who she was. The rest of the crowd started to come forward, reluctantly, and helped Dani pull the man away from Grace. Once free, Grace knelt on the floor, clutching her throat, coughing and spitting. Her hair was a mess. Her face was almost purple as she drew in several deep breaths. 

“Fuck you, Harper. That’s what you get. You better watch your ass.” The symphony of hate was plain as day, as the crowd began to walk away from her. 

Dani may have been the commander, but this was a den of lions. She felt small compared to their aggression. She kneeled beside Grace to make sure she was ok. Dani carefully watched the room, waiting for anyone else to try again. She helped Grace to her feet and led her out of the mess hall. Whatever authority she had, it was null and void right now. These men saw Grace as a threat to her. They had probably been gentlemen in another life. The couple forewent dinner in favor of the safety of their room. 

Dani shut the door behind them and locked it from the inside. Grace did not take off her boots like she normally did. She went and sat down at Dani’s desk. She leaned forward on her knees and hung her head. Dani sighed and watched her, waiting for her to say something. 

“I shouldn’t be here, Dani.” Grace shook her head, without looking up. Dani could see tears falling from her eyes onto the rug beneath her. 

Dani folded her arms across her chest. She was in no mood to deal with any of this. The day had already been long enough. “And just where are you going to go?” 

“I’ll sleep in the barracks. There’s an open bunk.” 

“Yeah, so the soldiers can kick your ass all over again? No.” 

“Dani...” Grace was losing the battle. She’d been at war with herself since the previous night. 

“Grace, we need to just move on from this. Once everyone sees that we are ok, they’ll back off.” 

“I think we rushed things, Dani.” Grace still didn’t look up. The words she spoke were no less true without eye contact. “I really think we jumped into this and …" 

“And what?” Dani was getting angry now. She did not like it when her plans did not come together. 

“I think I should leave for a while.” Grace finally looked up at the commander, searching her eyes for confirmation. Grace knew she was right. They’d rushed it, with every moment they spent together. They had fallen together far too fast. Grace felt untethered and exposed. She did not like that feeling and it was obviously spilling out from her subconscious and all over Dani. “Dani, you’re not safe with me. What if it happens again? What if it’s worse next time?” 

Dani moved forward toward the soldier at her desk. Grace dropped her head again, ashamed of herself and her actions. She was also ashamed of having her ass handed to her in the mess hall. Dani stepped closer to her, pressing her belly against the top of Grace’s head. She reached forward and cradled the blonde’s head in her arms. “If you have to go, I can’t stop you, Grace. What did Dr. Montoya tell you?” 

Grace huffed, “she gave me some meditation exercises to try. And these.” Grace pulled an orange prescription bottle without a label from her pants pocket. She tossed it across the desk carelessly. Dani left one arm around Grace’s head and reached for the bottle. It was full of little oblong pills. 

“What are these?” she sat the bottle back down. 

“Mood stabilizers, or something. I can’t remember what she called them, but she’s seen them work in others.” 

Dani touched Grace’s hair, smoothing it back. She lowered her voice and took the demanding tone out of it. “Why don’t you give them a try?” 

“I don’t want to lose my edge. I want to be a soldier here. They’ll make me soft. I won’t be able to think straight.” 

“Did Montoya tell you that?” Dani ran her fingertips across Grace’s shoulders. 

“Yes. She said it could happen for a while as my body adjusted to it.” 

Dani pulled Grace’s face upward to look at her. Grace’s nose was swollen. The cut across it would be another scar that Dani remembered from before. She did not feel any better about it now. Black circles had formed underneath both of Grace’s eyes from the punch. 

“Why don't you stay here, at least as long as it takes for you to adjust to them? Grace, if you leave, I can’t protect you. Those soldiers will come for you. I can have every single soldier on this base arrested if that’s what it takes, but I don’t want to do that. Then again, even if you stay, you can’t watch your back forever. Maybe they’ll leave you alone now.” 

“It doesn’t matter Dani. The proof is all over you.” 

Dani backed up from Grace, turned and sat on the edge of the bed. She looked down at her boots, wondering if maybe Grace would be better off leaving. At least it would be Grace’s decision, not something influenced by Dani for once. Dani could not stomach the thought of the other soldiers hurting Grace over this. It really had not been Grace’s fault. Dani wondered if she demanded too much of Grace too soon, making her slow down, wait, and be gentle. It clearly was not how Grace dealt with things. Given what the blonde warrior had been through in her life, Dani could hardly begrudge her a tough exterior. 

“Ok. I won’t stop you. Do what you need to do Grace.” Those were the most difficult words Dani had said to her yet. “Promise me one thing though.” 

Grace looked up to her, holding her gaze. 

“You keep going to see the psychiatrist until SHE tells you otherwise. And you take those pills as she directed you to.” Grace nodded and rose to her feet. Dani felt her heart sink into her belly. Grace was going to leave. 

“I will. I’m sorry, Dani. I’m sorry about everything.” Grace took a step forward, and Dani reached out to her. Grace sidestepped her and went for the door. Dani grabbed the pill bottle from the desk. 

“Grace.” The blonde turned momentarily as she opened the door. “Take these.” She tossed the bottle in Grace’s direction, watching the young woman snatch it out of the air with one hand. Grace nodded to her and turned to leave. “Report to Biggs Airfield at 0700. You’re on Major Emery’s maintenance detail.” That was all Dani had to give her if she was going to go. Pleading and crying would do neither of them any good. 

Grace stepped out the door and shut it behind her. Dani raised her hand to her mouth, letting out a quick, sharp breath. She felt her whole body shaking. Every fiber of her being wanted to go after Grace and beg her to stay, to convince her they would be fine. Dani knew that wasn’t true though. They were clearly not fine. She had rushed Grace in the supply room. She should have just let her be when Grace left last night. Dani felt scared all over again. Only now she oversaw a rising army. She felt completely fucked. Dani had opened old wounds on Grace’s mind. The blonde soldier was now out there alone, broken. Dani would never forgive herself.

The soldiers at Fort Bliss were becoming restless with the lack of action. The war had stalled, and Commander Ramos needed to push forward sooner rather than later. She would do it for everyone, every soldier, every human being. She would mainly do it for Grace. Dani stopped to wonder if this course of action would lead to Grace's augmentation and the eventual time jump back to the past. Her reasoning was that if soldiers were bored, they would create their own entertainment, even if it was violent. She could not allow more violence among the human survivors. There had been too much already. However, every single one of her strategies pointed toward a fated future; one that she could not change no matter what she did now.


	20. Push

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "In the clearing stands a boxer  
> And a fighter by his trade  
> And he carries the reminders  
> Of ev'ry glove that laid him down  
> Or cut him till he cried out  
> In his anger and his shame  
> "I am leaving, I am leaving"  
> But the fighter still remains."
> 
> -Paul Simon

Dani Ramos did not like sleeping alone anymore. In the short time they had been together, Grace had provided Dani a sense of comfort and stability that she had not known since before the war. She slept alone back then, but it was in the relative safety of her family home. Grace had given Dani that security blanket back. Also, Dani just missed her. Grace was hard and warm and soft in all the right spots. Grace was inherently kind and gentle, Dani believed. Dani missed watching movies and talking or not talking. Grace was not a great conversationalist, but she was solid. She questioned Dani’s ideas, making her think much deeper about situations. Dani would formulate ideas on how to maneuver through the war with Legion, and Grace’s combat experience always proved helpful in finding a different angle of approach. Grace was smart and methodical. She used her experience to back up everything she did. Dani blamed herself for how things turned out with Grace. She had screwed with an evolved creature, even if that evolution was troubled by ghosts of the past. 

Dani did not sleep well anymore. Grace had been gone less than a week, and Dani’s entire routine was upended. She did not eat right, she often skipped meals, and would stay up far later than she should. She tossed and turned without Grace’s steadying hands to settle her down. Dani cried behind her closed door. She tried not to let anyone see her upset. Her position came with certain responsibilities. She could not be considered weak or ineffective. She was the captain of the ship and absolutely had to inspire confidence among the crew. 

This morning, she was meeting with the Army Corps of Engineers to determine how much time remained on building the loading bay doors. She needed to start getting transports moving to the west coast. The northern militias in Montana, North Dakota, and Idaho would be needing the bunker-buster HKs to take out targets along the border of Canada. It was not strategically advantageous to fight in the north, but Dani would need them to create a diversion. 

Most of the antiquated firepower, designed in the era before the war with Legion, rested in the Midwest, between Nebraska, Kansas, Iowa, and Oklahoma. From what the Resistance commanders in that area were telling her, they were bringing the scattered remains of the military back together to form a connected fighting force. These groups of soldiers were bringing tanks toward St. Louis, Missouri, in order to attack the Legion blockade of the Mississippi whenever Commander Ramos gave the word. The tanks included the old M1A2 Abrams and a newer version called the M1A2 SEP. These tanks were heavily armored, fast, and destructive. The manufacturing plants in Mexico City were fabricating 120mm shells of the same design as the rifle shells. The depleted uranium shells would provide the firepower necessary to push the machines back across the river indefinitely. That was the point of attack. Commander Ramos desperately needed the supply line. She anticipated utilizing Fort Leonard Wood, outside of St. Louis, as a forward operating base. Camp Ripley, in Minnesota, was gathering depleted uranium weapons from an undisclosed, classified location. The militia there was small, but fierce. They were stocking weapons and supplies, ready to move into Minneapolis and destroy the machine presence at the mouth of the mighty river. They only needed the transports to make it happen. They would especially need the bunker-busters and Scorpions to make it happen. Once the supply line was open from Minneapolis to St. Louis, the Resistance would have an open channel to distribute effective weaponry, food, and soldiers across a much larger area. The strategy was good. It made sense. 

The only problem was that frontal assault on Legion in St. Louis would be disastrous to Resistance forces. Once Legion detected the attack, it would immediately redirect its forces from the North and the South to crush opposition. That’s why Dani needed a diversion or two. She planned two attacks simultaneously, in Montana and from the South in Corpus Christi, Texas. The remains of the Naval Air Station would be invaluable in an air strike. They had the technology and most of the equipment and soldiers necessary to at least inconvenience Legion’s presence in the Gulf of Mexico. While Legion was too busy protecting itself in the North and South, Dani would punch through the East. 

It was an enormous risk to take with that many lives and so much vital weaponry on the line. Dani carefully considered any other option she could take in order to avoid it, but this was the best plan. The commanders would all arrive within the next 24 hours to confer with her. Commander Ramos drew up the plan in the war room beside her new office. She had the entire table covered with a giant map of the United States. She pinpointed every garrison, every ordnance battalion, every single outpost that would be involved in this strike. She would try to limit civilian casualties but understood that it was largely unavoidable in times of war. 

As soon as Dani felt comfortable with the plan, she decided that her soldiers at Fort Bliss needed to be trained with the new rifles, which she was calling “the equalizer”. They would train with whatever time remained for the engineers to complete the entrance for the loading dock. This would all take a massive coordinated effort. Commander Ramos needed every department head at the base to meet her today. That’s all there was to it. It was go-time. 

It was almost noon. Dani was hungry. She decided to go to the mess hall for the first time in days. She had been having Jakes bring her food to her office lately. Her mind was racing with ideas about the upcoming meeting with her fellow commanders. She also wanted to get with Sergeant Welch downstairs, and find out about getting uniform patches made up with the ouroboros design. She wanted every single human soldier to wear it proudly, and know what they were fighting for and who they were standing beside. 

The mess hall was in its usual state of activity. People were forming a line for food, talking, laughing, and carrying on. Dani scanned the room for signs of a tall blonde. Grace was nowhere to be seen. Dani was missing her so badly, but decided to let Grace work things out on her own. That was how Grace would survive and always had. Dani just had to let her be her own animal. If she came back, Dani would know the truth about their relationship, knowing it wasn’t entirely her fault for trying to change Grace. On the other hand, Grace might realize she was better off the way she was. Dani took her lunch and sat in her usual corner away from the crowd. Her bruises were almost gone. What remained blended into her dark skin. Her eyes had almost returned to normal again. There was still one spot in her right eye that seemed to refuse to heal. She wondered how Grace’s nose was. 

The tall blonde woman stepped into the mess hall a few minutes later with the rest of Major Emery’s maintenance crew. Grace was never hard to spot unless she did not want to be seen. Today, it seemed that she was not hiding. Maybe that’s because Dani had not been in the chow hall much lately, and Grace did not feel uncomfortable being in the same room. Dani watched Grace look around. That was typical Grace, observing everything around her. Dani made it a point to make eye contact should Grace see her. However, Grace just resumed looking ahead in the line. Dani tried to eat, forcing herself to take nourishment from the apples and protein substitute. There was bread again today. Dani really missed cheese and milk. She pushed the canned carrots around her tray, trying to will herself to eat them. They reminded her of baby food, and she just wasn’t interested. Something came between her food and the overhead lights. A long shadow was cast over her. “May I sit with you, Commander?” The question was issued from a soft voice, gravelly and low. Dani would know her voice anywhere. 

“I would love it if you did, Lieutenant.” Dani looked up to see the most welcome sight she had laid eyes on in days. Grace Harper was back. 

Grace set her tray down, pulled a bottle of juice out of her cargo pocket, and swung a long leg over the seat bench as she sat down opposite Dani. Grace shifted to make herself comfortable. Dani looked around to see if anyone was staring at them. She worried that by leaving, Grace had made herself a target to some overzealous soldiers. Dani examined Grace for signs of new injuries. Her nose was not swollen anymore. The blackness under her eyes had faded and was barely visible. The cut across the bridge was scabbed over and less prominent. Dani watched Grace as she prepared to eat. Grace had a system. She rotated the tray so that her favorite food was furthest away from her. She always ate what she liked last. She positioned her silverware to her right side. She placed her bottle of juice on the left side. She always unfolded a napkin and laid it over her left thigh before she started eating. Dani watched the whole routine, smiling, saying nothing. 

Grace caught her staring. “What?” Grace nearly smiled at her before digging in to her meal. 

Dani laughed quietly. “Nothing.” She was constantly amused by the little things that made Grace who she was. They ate together, listening to the surrounding voices and activity, the clinking of metal forks against plastic trays. Dani was mostly finished by the time Grace arrived, but decided to work on the mushy carrot pate. She felt good about Grace sitting with her, no matter the young woman’s intentions. It just felt good to have Grace back in her orbit. Dani desperately wanted to say something, anything that might bring them closer together again. She stopped short of reaching across the table. 

“How are things going on the airfield, Grace?” Dani had not had any updates about what Grace had been up to. She tried to give her space. Major Emery had said once that Grace took to the aviation equipment like a duck to water. It made Dani’s heart swell knowing that Grace had found something she loved and was good at. 

“Good, actually. I’m learning about T55s right now. Chinook engines. It’s way more fun to get my hands dirty than sit and read a book about it.” Dani looked down and noticed that Grace’s hands were black with engine oil and dirt. “The C1-50 is next week. I’ll be working on rewiring the instrument panel in the cockpit. Major Emery wants me to see how it's done in case I ever need to hotwire a cargo plane. I think he might be joking though.” Grace looked up and smiled at Dani. That toothy grin of hers spoke of mischief and joy. Two things that Dani loved in Grace. “He’s going to teach me to fly. He says if I can fly a cargo plane that big, I can fly anything.” Grace’s eyes lit up. 

“That’s good! I’m really happy you’ve found something you like. Is Emery good to you?” 

“Yeah, he gave me a ration of shit the first day about treating my woman better.” Dani stifled a laugh and watched Grace’s eyes shift from her hands to Dani’s hands. “He’s been really great. He has this thing about him, where people don’t fuck with him. I’ve felt pretty safe in his detail.” Grace finally made and held eye contact with Dani. 

Dani felt a heavy boot shift forward and nudge her feet apart under the table. She granted that boot safe harbor, pressing her own boots tightly against Grace’s. “How have the other things been going?” Dani lowered her voice, trying to keep the conversation private in the very public venue. 

Grace knew what she was talking about and needed no other prompts. “Good. I go every day after work. I take the pills like I’m supposed to. I don’t know if they’re helping. It’s only been a few days. She said it could take weeks to feel an effect. I meditate every night before bed. There haven’t been any nightmares. I feel better, except...” her voice trailed off and she tapped her foot between Dani’s. 

I miss you too, Dani wanted to say. “Except what?” Dani just wanted to hear her say it. 

Grace paused. “Can I see you again? I have to go back right now, but I … just …. really …" Grace had a difficult time forming the words. Dani reached across the table and slid her hand, palm up, under one of the dirty ones belonging to her partner. Dani still considered Grace her partner, despite what they were going through. 

“Soon. I have a huge meeting with the commanding officers tomorrow. I have a lot of work to do in the next couple of days. There is going to be a new rifle issued to all soldiers soon. I need to create a roster for range times and training. Everything is going to start moving forward very quickly Grace. I have to be completely available for it.” Dani squeezed Grace’s hand. She wanted nothing more than to welcome Grace back into her life completely. She was hesitant about it because Dani did not want it to all come undone again. 

Grace stared at their joined hands. She looked around to see if anyone was watching. If they were, they did not care. That was over. Grace gripped Dani’s hand and apologized for the dirt. “It never really comes off all the way.” She really wanted to ask Dani when she could see her, but she chose to trust the Commander’s judgement and not be pushy. “I miss you, Dani.” Grace just stared at their hands and stroked a long finger across Dani’s wrist. Her voice was barely audible above the din of the crowd. 

Dani allowed herself to admit it, and to say it back. “I miss you too, Grace. You really don’t even know.” 

“I think I probably do.” Grace was right about that. For the last several days, she felt lost inside without Dani to ground her. That’s why she was taking the therapy and meditation so seriously. 

“What time do you get off work?” Dani asked, withdrawing her hand. 

“About 1700. I have to be at Montoya’s office at 1745.” It was just enough time to eat dinner and get moving again. 

“Have dinner with me tonight. But not here.” Dani offered, looking deep into the sea of blue gazing back at her. 

“Where?” 

“Home.” Dani thought it might have been too bold to assume that Grace would be comfortable being alone with her just yet, but she needed Grace to know she was still part of her life. 

Grace’s heart was beating hard at the sudden intimacy in Dani’s voice. The way she said “home” was like an invitation back into a place that Grace cherished immensely. 

“We can decide from there what to do next, my love.” Dani continued. 

“I would really like that.” 

“Then it’s settled. Just come straight home. I’ll bring the rations.” Dani really wanted to kiss Grace before she went back to work. She thought she might have detected the same desire in her beautiful warrior’s eyes. Grace gave her that crooked grin. 

“I’ll see you then, Dani.” Grace reluctantly pulled her foot back from Dani’s, swung a leg over the seat bench, picked up both trays and headed back to the air field. Dani loved how considerate the woman was, taking care of her at every turn. 

Dani would check with the kitchen before she went back to the office. Being the Commander of the Resistance must have some perks in the way of getting special food items.


	21. Steel

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Go your way, I'll take the long way 'round,  
> I'll find my own way down, as I should.  
> And hold your gaze. There's coke in the Midas touch  
> A joke in the way that we rust, and breathe again.  
> And you'll find loss, and you'll fear what you found  
> When weather comes tearing down  
> There'll be oats in the water  
> There'll be birds on the ground  
> There'll be things you never asked her  
> Oh how they tear at you now.” 
> 
> -Ben Howard

Grace woke up under the florescent lights in the barracks. She’d not slept well. Her mind raced all night with thoughts of meeting Dani later that day for dinner. Grace was also very excited at the prospect of learning to fly this weekend. Some of the other maintenance crew members had told her that it was common for Major Emery to teach soldiers to operate aircraft such as cargo planes and helicopters. They said he viewed it as an integral part of working on them. Major Emery believed that maintenance and being able to pilot the craft went hand in hand. He did not believe in getting tied down by the technical aspects of flying. He gave each crew member a crash course, no pun intended. It was the end of the world, Emery said, nobody is going to ask for your license. 

Grace’s thoughts always returned to Dani. It did not matter if Grace was elbow deep in oily machine parts, swearing at nuts and bolts that wouldn’t come free with a wrench, or how many times she busted her knuckles doing it. Her thoughts went back to the brunette, without fail. 

Grace had to consider how things got to this point. She’d had nightmares ever since her dad was killed. Things just never got any better. Grace had waited for “normal” to return for almost two years after the world fell apart. Instead, what she discovered was the world just fell into ruin, and she with it. The state of disrepair seen in the physical world began to mimic Grace’s inner workings and vice versa. For every abandoned, burnt out building she walked through, part of Grace got left there with it. She did not feel so connected to this world in that way, but it helped her to understand her emotions better when she attached them to inanimate objects. When it rained, Grace cried. When bombs exploded across the landscape, Grace felt herself shrink inside. She just tried not to think about what she had to do to stay alive before running into the Commander that afternoon. The world was destroyed, one Legion attack at a time, and Grace sent pieces of herself to the same fate. Mostly, Grace learned to shove her feelings way down, swearing a private oath that they would never have leverage inside her again, just like the ruins of the world before the war. 

Grace rarely let herself remember the group of cannibals she ended up with while searching for her brother. She could not stand to think about Harley, the man in charge of the group. He followed her around for days, trying to get her alone when the others weren’t looking. One day, he followed her when she went to relieve herself. He caught her behind the old post office and threw her up against the wall. She remembered the smell of his rotting teeth as he pressed himself against her little body. She was weak and powerless against him. “Hold still, little girl.” He whispered while he dragged his tongue across her cheek. Harley had shoved his hand down the front of her pants and was surprised to find her penis instead of a vagina. “Well, what do we have here, freak?” Grace had hoped it would be enough to send him away so she could run. Harley forced himself inside her anyway. Grace blacked out from the pain and shame she felt. She just wanted to be dead, with her family. She learned, violently fast, how to separate memories from feelings and compartmentalize everything so it did not consume her. She was too scared to kill herself, and she hated that even more than the things Harley did to her that day. That was how Grace Harper learned to take before being taken. 

That was how that little girl learned to walk the scorched earth. She grew hardened to everything after her brother was taken by skinners. Everything nice in her life was gone and destroyed, swallowed up by the chasm created by Legion. Until Dani found her that day, scrounging for food somewhere in Las Cruces, Grace had no need to worry about other people’s feelings. The scavengers who waylaid her that day would have had to fight for everything they planned to take from her. Grace was deadly with that pocket knife, she thought, though the older woman would have certainly killed her in a contest. Then, Dani showed up, convincing all of them to join her. Dani was an icon back in the first days. Grace still believed that Dani was the reason humans were fighting the machines today. After all, Dani was now the Commander of the Western Militias, and soon the entire Resistance. Dani had no military background, but no one really needed it anymore. It was helpful, certainly. Soldiers from the former world retained their ranks, but there was no distinct hierarchy anymore. The military branches were mixed into one. There was no officer’s candidate school. There was no more War College. There were only field promotions and getting your ass kicked by robots. And Dani was fighting against them since day one, uniting people everywhere she ran into them. Grace listened to Dani’s message about fate and hope and fighting for something bigger than themselves. Grace had loved Dani since day one, even if she did not understand that kind of love. She watched Dani come and go for several years at Carlsbad. Dani and a group of armed scavengers were just trying to gain numbers and find food and shelter when Grace ended up staying at what would become her new home in New Mexico. 

Her first year at Carlsbad wasn’t terrible. There was some food, a place to sleep in relative calm. There were little children there and adults, but not too many kids her age. Grace had felt completely displaced by the apocalypse, and living at Carlsbad did not make things any less lonely. Grace’s childhood was over too soon and she learned how to forget about it. When she was 16, a year after Dani left her in David and Celia’s care, Grace joined the rangers. For the first time in her life, she felt like she belonged somewhere. Vanda and Henry watched out for her, until Grace grew strong enough to start watching out for them. Grace was a natural when it came to being a soldier and a leader. She registered with the Resistance at 17 and never looked back. Dani would come to visit sometimes, but no matter how much Grace wanted to go see her and spend time with her, it always seemed like Dani was too busy for her. She was grateful for the things Dani brought for her, but Dani never gave them directly to her. It was always through David or Celia that she received things from the commander. 

Grace learned to be tough over the years. Not every survivor of Judgement Day that passed through Carlsbad was nice. Some people, in Grace’s opinion, deserved to fall victim to an accident. There was one man, a preacher from some forgotten time, who would spread the word of his god, banging on about sin and morality. According to Henry and Vanda, his hands shook because he ate too much human flesh. The guy was really out there anyway, Grace thought. He talked about aliens and how they’d returned to destroy humanity in the form of machines. He cornered Grace one day, alone, and his eyes were wild. She thought he was going to hurt her. He backed her against a wall, railing about the coming of Jesus Christ, and asked if she was pure enough for the savior’s love. Grace shrank against the wall, feeling his trembling fingertips touching her face and grabbing for her clothes. She managed to bring a knee up hard between his legs and run away. She never told anyone about it. She just stuffed it down with the rest. And that’s how Grace coped. She did not talk about things. She crammed everything down inside where she believed it could not hurt her. She developed a thick skin and spat on the ground when she felt anything bubbling toward the surface. Grace learned to take what she wanted because it wasn’t going to simply be handed to her. People were objects to be dominated. Grace did not want personal relationships, because everyone she ever loved had died horribly. She could not shoulder the burden of caring for others when their fates were sealed. 

Dani Ramos held a key to the vault inside Grace. Everything Grace had locked away, Dani had unfettered access to. Dani was a sharp breath blown against the rust on that lock. She removed the hardened layers away, one at a time, finding ever deepening emotions that Grace forgot she was capable of experiencing anymore. Not all of those feelings were good either. At first, when Grace found Dani at the water tower, she tried to be as tough as ever, showing Dani that she grew up just fine without her. She showed Dani every bit of strength she had, physically carrying her one day, exerting her sexual prowess over the commander another day. The first time Grace took her, back in Dani’s room at Carlsbad, Grace had wanted to show Dani how strong she really was. Over the years, with other women, Grace had honed her intensity and bravery by completely dominating them in bed. She loved that feeling she got from being the top. Granted, she had chosen women who were not strong. It gave Grace an unfair advantage, but she had learned that in this life, you took what you wanted before it could be stolen from you. After that encounter with Dani, Grace was left feeling like what she had done all those years was, not wrong necessarily, but worth revisiting and revising. She had suddenly realized that Dani was not a whet stone for her to sharpen the invisible blades Grace used to murder her own humanity. 

No, Dani was different. Grace wanted to be with her from the beginning. She had spent too much time creating the image of indestructability before the commander came along. Grace had to relearn everything about how to be with someone. She liked it when Dani took the reins and slowed her down. Grace had lived hard and fast, but Dani served as a reminder to her that pleasure could be had in other ways. Dani taught her how to be patient, kind, and giving. Grace believed she already had those qualities in her to begin with, but Dani’s presence reinforced them in her. Even though Grace was letting Dani beyond her walls, she felt like she was betraying the persona she had adopted when everyone and everything else abandoned her. 

Grace shook herself back into the moment, trying to rewire the comms panel on the old C1-30 instrument board. She was sitting in the pilot’s seat, twisted around with her legs in the aisle and her head underneath the board, the wiring schematic draped across her chest for reference, when her hand slipped against the hard metal panel. She cursed, feeling the sharp sensation of steel passing through the web between her forefinger and thumb. She reeled at the feeling, bringing her hand up to her lips instinctively. The cut wasn’t bad, but it was jagged, and it really stung. She sucked blood from it for a moment, remembering how Dani had given her nearly 20% of her own blood to save Grace’s life. She had wondered how much of it was left inside of her now, and how much was her own again. She felt kind of silly for thinking about it, but she genuinely liked the idea of Dani being a part of her in that way. 

All Grace wanted was a chance to repay the favor to Dani, and give her something equal. Instead, Grace had given Dani the demon that resided in her. She had hurt the older woman and Grace could not abide. She knew Dani blamed herself for it, but it was not her fault. Perhaps Grace had dealt with things poorly over the years, but she did not believe she had a choice. It was either kill or be killed. Grace had not known any other way until very recently. That did not stop the damage that she incurred however. 

Dr. Montoya was beginning to teach Grace how to interact with her devils and try to let them go instead of keeping it all locked up. Letting Dani have the key to something she was powerless against was extremely risky without guidance. It was dangerous not to do something about it, Grace realized. She could crack and go insane under the mounting pressure of her PTSD, and she was already starting to experience that. Dani would not be safe with her unless she tried to deal with herself in more healthy ways. Grace really hated how everything had turned out. Hurting Dani was the result of untreated trauma, nothing more, nothing less. Looking at it that way helped Grace, in incomprehensible ways, to quit hating herself for everything all the time. 

Grace looked at her hand where it had been cut. It was still bleeding a little bit, but she just got back to work under the panel. She could still be tough when she needed to. There was a time and place, she was learning, for being gentle and letting your guard down. The cockpit of a cargo plane was not that place.


	22. Rewired

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I am a sturdy soul  
> And there ain't no shame  
> In lying down in the bed you made  
> Can you fight the urge to run for another day?
> 
> You might make it further if you learn to stay
> 
> I wrapped your love around me like a chain  
> But I never was afraid that it would die  
> You can dance in a hurricane  
> But only if you’re standing in the eye."
> 
> -Brandi Carlile

Their shared dinner was the mystery meat as usual. There was a lot of it in supply, coming up from the southern tunnel. Soy beans were being grown again in Central America, and protein was no longer an issue in most places. There were apples, of course. The little hard apples were some kind of hybrid that grew well in cold climates. There was the standard oat mush of course, but Dani had convinced the kitchen staff to find her something special to go with it. There were raisins and brown sugar for it. It was a rare treat that was only afforded to someone of Dani’s rank. Fort Bliss had become a port of entry for everything south of the border, and it operated as a distribution center for food and supplies to Resistance personnel. The great thing about soy curd was that it could be made to taste like anything. If Dani ignored that fact and just tried to enjoy it, she could convince herself that it was chicken or even beef. Perhaps if that beef or chicken had been pulverized into a condensed mushy cube. At least they were not to the point of eating insects or human beings. She was grateful for the little things. The soy curd was a huge deal, though, because it meant that the southern supply lines were open. In a way, meals were symbolic of hope that humans were able to outfox the machines. 

They sat together, on the bed, legs crossed in front of them, plates in their laps. Grace was not able to be as meticulous with her meal as usual, since everything was in her lap. Her bottle of juice was sitting beside her on the floor, her napkin was crumpled in her left hand. Dani did not mind eating this way at all. She had learned from an early age to sit on the floor at family gatherings, because the adults were afforded seating first. They ate quietly, not rushing. The exchange of smiles and sweet silence was sufficient for the moment. Grace opened her bottle of juice, flavored like oranges or something like it, and swallowed half of it in one gulp. Dani watched the muscles in the blonde’s throat expand to take the fluid all the way down, how her jaw muscles contracted when she swallowed. Dani’s heart yearned for something she had not yet had with Grace. They had been physically intimate many times since their first meeting in Carlsbad. However, since the night of Grace’s episode, Dani could not help but feel the distance between them growing wider with every passing hour. She wanted nothing more than to bring Grace back to her and close the emotional void between them once and for all. She also understood that the military operations were coming soon, and that was the most important thing of all. She would be too busy to give herself fully to Grace. That would not be fair to either of them right now. On the other hand, Dani thought, if she put it off, one or both of them might not be alive at the end to pursue it. 

“Grace?” Dani broke the silence. Grace was drinking the rest of her juice in a second, single gulp. She made a satisfied noise in her throat, feeling the cool liquid hit her stomach. 

“Hmm?” Grace was wearing a black tank top and her uniform pants. She wasn’t required to work in full uniform at the airfield. She had not redressed before running to their room. Her priority was to spend as much time with Dani as she could. Dani stared at her muscled shoulders and arms, letting her eyes pass down the expanse of Grace’s body, wishing for … something. The unnamed longing was terrible. It pulled at Dani’s heart, clenching it in a vice grip of desire and uncertainty. Grace looked at the clock on the desk. 1732. They still had a few minutes left. 

“How are you?” Dani pushed her plate aside and inched forward toward Grace. Their knees collided, Grace stiffening suddenly. 

“I’m ok. You know, typical grease monkey shit. I’m working on the electrical panel of a-” 

Dani cut her off. “No, Grace. How are you?” Grace fully understood what Dani meant. 

“I miss you a lot. I’m lonely for you.” Grace shifted her eyes from her lap to her lover and back again. 

Dani reached out her hand and rubbed Grace’s knee. “Grace, I....everything is about to come apart inside me. I’m so scared right now.” Dani wasn’t sure what she was trying to ask or explain. She knew that the upcoming strike would be historical if successful. If not, it would be a clear demarcation of human failure with her as the leader. Dani wanted it to be the first of many such advances for humanity. She wasn’t sure she was the right person to lead it all. She wanted to tell Grace everything but there just wasn’t time. She needed the blonde warrior’s strength and experience now like never before. Grace placed a steadying hand on top of Dani’s. The heat coming from Grace’s skin made Dani gasp. The familiarity of that touch, Grace was a rock. Dani wanted to be held and protected, but instead she had to face Legion as a shrewd, cunning commander in a Resistance that may or may not be up to the task. Nothing was certain, and she had a lot of pressure on her right now. She stared down at Grace’s hand covering hers, covered in oil, dirt, and a little blood. Her knuckles were skinned and sore looking. 

“Hey.” Grace’s voice threw a heavy stone against Dani’s crumbling strength. “Look at me.” It was not a request. Grace had that authority back in her voice. Dani inhaled deeply, feeling her body shake. She looked up into Grace’s eyes. She expected the wells of blue to be demanding and angry. She expected a lecture on how to be strong and not let anyone see her crack. “You don’t have to do it all in one day. I can’t begin to imagine what you are going through, with the Resistance, with Legion, with me. It’s a seriously heavy responsibility. I couldn’t do it without help.” Grace realized that her words were weak against the terror forming inside her partner. She could see that fear reflected in the amber irises still staring at her. “Dani, what do you need from me?” 

Dani slid her hand away from Grace and stood up. She started to pace across the floor, which was typical when she was distraught. Grace sat and watched her, letting Dani figure it out for herself. Grace would never force her way into Dani’s inner sanctum again. She was there by invitation only now. Dani felt her whole body start to shake. She stopped pacing to stand still and attempt to regain control of herself. Her hands clenched on their own. She wasn’t sure how long she stood there or where the stream of tears came from. She was shaking uncontrollably now, weeping against her balled up fists. “Grace,” she cried. And suddenly Grace was not just in front of her or beside her or behind her. Grace was all around her. The young blonde stepped in front of Dani, enveloping her in strong and gentle arms, wrapping them around Dani entirely. Grace’s arms were so long that she could wrap them around Dani and clutch her sides. She pulled Dani flush against her chest. 

“Feel me, Dani. I’m right here.” The voice was in her ear, the soundwaves reverberating through her skull, though it was only a whisper. Grace was grounding her. Dani let herself be cradled and guarded, protected by the woman who had wrested her deepest fears from her during a seemingly normal night together. This Grace, here and now, did not inspire fear. Dani let it all go. There was only one answer to all of her questions: she wanted and needed Grace, especially during the tumultuous time that lay ahead of her. Dani let her arms slide around Grace, equalizing the pull of long, muscular arms. Grace smelled of sweat, oil, and her own personal musk that Dani had come to enjoy. She listened to the strong, slow beat of Grace’s heart. She was so calm that it made Dani weak in her own panic. “Just feel me, Dani. Listen to my breath. I’m here. It’s me.” 

Oh god, Dani thought. That was the kicker. It’s me. Dani drew in another trembling, terrified breath, and let it all out into the black shirt and underlying skin. Her only instinct was to never let this wonderful, caring, utterly fragile woman out of her life again. Unfortunately, the clock was running down, and Grace had to go. “Grace, it’s time.” Dani hated to say it. She wasn’t ready. 

“I know. I’m sorry.” 

Dani looked up at her as Grace held her still. “Come back to me, soldier.” Grace kissed the top of Dani’s head, her lips lingering in the thick, auburn hair. Grace slipped away from her unwillingly. Dani exhaled hard at the feeling, like her own skin was being torn away from her bones. That feeling of being exposed heightened the sense of fear that she would have to do this all alone. Maybe Grace was not ready to come back. A person can miss someone and be lonely without them and still have the fortitude to stay away. The whisper was soft and private, existing for no one but them, together. 

“Yes, Commander.” 

Grace slipped out the door and was gone again. When Dani was sure she was gone, she sank to the floor on her knees and began to purge all of her anger and fear. She felt the desperation block out reason. Any trepidation about bringing Grace back to her was stripped away, and a clean slate remained. 

Grace decided to go back as soon as she was finished meeting with Emma Montoya. She also decided to tell the good doctor everything that had just happened. She was not Superman. Grace needed guidance, and had felt safe enough with Dr. Montoya to accept it. Of course, Emma Montoya’s first question to Grace was whether or not it was a good idea so soon after what had happened. That is when Grace raised the gate to release the truth she’d been so carefully harboring. She needed Dani in ways that she could only now understand. Dani brought out something in Grace that she was proud of. Grace could be open and vulnerable with Commander Ramos. She could be strong and stalwart for her. Grace admitted to just how protective she felt toward Dani, how lonely she was without her. Most importantly, Grace talked about their bond and how she had never had that in her life. It was the most human thing she had ever experienced. And if she would not allow herself to fall into that with Dani, what was the point of resisting the machines? 

Emma Montoya was a great psychiatrist, but she was also a human being. She carefully considered what Grace was saying. She did not believe that Grace would lie to her just to be released from her care. She also understood how hard it was for Grace to even admit that, especially to someone she perceived as a stranger. Grace did not trust strangers. That was obvious from the beginning. But Dr. Montoya had recognized that Grace Harper was making an honest-to-god effort to correct the break in her relationship with the commander. Nothing was more important to Grace than fixing this, even if it meant enlisting the help of someone she did not know. 

Dr. Montoya assured Grace that she’d be available day or night to her if something should happen. She knew she could not stop Grace from going back to Dani. She admitted that Grace had said the one truest thing there was. Her relationship with the commander was so deep, the bond unrelenting, that if they did not believe in it and try to make it work, what was humanity fighting for? Of course, other couples felt the same way together. Love was worth fighting for, dying for. It was what made them human. She decided to offer Grace her blessing on the matter, asking her to employ the coping strategies in the same way as if she were alone. She pleaded with Grace to let Dani in and help her. “Don’t try to be stronger than you think you are. If she’s the one for you, and your relationship is as deep as you say, then don’t try to do the other parts all by yourself, Lieutenant. Let Dani in. Let her stay in.” Grace nodded in agreement, eager to get back. Once the hour was up, Grace went back to the barracks to retrieve her medication from her duffel bag. She was determined to remain on this course of action for as long as it took. She kicked the bag back under her bunk, threw Vanda and Henry both a smile and headed home. 

Dani sat at her desk. She had a lot of work yet to do. She had just finished the roster for weapons training with the Equalizers. The firing range could accommodate up to 20 soldiers at a time. There were currently 359 soldiers on base, including the new recruits from Carlsbad. If each group of soldiers spent an hour at the range every day, the firing range would be operational for nearly 20 hours a day. Work schedules would have to be rearranged and everyone would have to help out in positions they weren’t qualified for. Non-essential jobs and services would be suspended until the training was complete. The flight crews, led by Major Emery would have to be trained on the new Scorpions and repurposed HKs. Grace might well be part of that crew, if Emery decided he needed her. Otherwise, Dani could reassign Grace to overseeing rifle training. The commanding officers had begun arriving earlier in the day, and they would all meet first thing in the morning. The engineers were nearly finished, at Dani’s behest to hurry. As soon as the security doors were complete, the commanding officers would have access to all the new equipment to take home to their respective armies. Tomorrow would be the first time in the history of Fort Bliss that every single person registered to fight would have unrestricted access to the fourth sublevel. Everyone needed to know everything, she decided. Tonight, she would tell Grace her plan for the Resistance. Everything was coming together smoothly, just in time for it to all explode outward onto Legion. 

There was a knock at her door. “Enter!” Dani yelled louder than she meant to, knowing full well who it was. She heard the beep of the entry pad as her code was accepted. Grace slipped in quietly and took her boots off at the door. Dani stood and waited for Grace to finish putting her boots against the wall. She took two quick steps toward the tall blonde and jumped. Grace held her arms out and caught Dani securely, cradling her arms under Dani’s thighs. Dani leaned in fast and kissed Grace, running a hand through yellow locks, the other hand gripping the back of the soldier’s neck. Dani locked her lips onto Grace’s mouth like a heat-seeking missile. But it wasn’t the kind of kiss that urged them both toward the edge of their collective sanity. Dani’s lips claimed Grace’s, welcoming her back where she belonged. There was forgiveness and love in her hold on Grace’s body. And Grace held Dani high, breaking the kiss only to smile up at her. 

After a few moments being caught up in the whirlwind of the homecoming, Grace let Dani slip back down to the floor. She pulled the pill bottle from her pocket and set it on the bathroom sink. She ran the water and tried to wash her hands again, but there was still black oil and dirt under her nails, in the lines of her skin. Dani decided to relax for a bit before continuing her work, which would probably take her all night. She sat on the edge of the bed, waiting for Grace to join her. Grace walked toward her and stood silent, looking down at the beautiful brunette that she was so in love with. Grace smiled and asked, “how are you, Dani?” She expected an actual answer. Dani nodded and said she was better now, not so alone with everything, feeling confident in sharing the plans with Grace. “Ok, what have you got to show me?” Grace looked over at all the paperwork on the desk. Dani reached up, twisted her hand into the bottom of Grace’s shirt and pulled her forward and down. Grace took the cue and lowered herself down over Dani as she laid back. Grace held herself up on her arms, resting her lower half against Dani’s hips. Grace surveyed the woman beneath her, seeing her as if for the first time. Dani reached up and held Grace’s face, rubbing her thumbs back and forth against the edges of the blonde’s smile. She pulled Grace down on top of her, leading her back. Grace rested there, bringing a hand up to run rough fingertips across a smooth forehead, using her thumb to massage the furrowed brow belonging to the commander of the Human Resistance. It was becoming that, certainly. “You don’t want to show me your plans?” Grace asked, running a fingertip down the slope of Dani’s nose. She wanted to be nothing but good to her. 

“It can wait. I want to show you something else.” Dani whispered, kissing Grace again, this time with more urgency. She parted her lips and sent the invitation. Grace had only to respond. Dani moaned as the warm, soft wet tongue found its way into her mouth, probing for her own. They slid together, massaging in such a gentle way that if they were standing up, it would have brought Dani to her knees. Dani inhaled deeply as Grace exhaled, taking in everything about the blonde warrior she held in her arms. 

Dani opened her legs and let Grace settle between them. She let her legs settle against the backs of Grace’s thighs. The press of their bodies together ignited the fire that burned between them below the surface. It was always there, a pilot light to the furnace that blasted them both with heat. Grace looked into Dani’s eyes, seeing the desire, the love, and all of the commander’s fears. She searched Dani’s stare, looking for direction. Grace wanted to proceed with her but would not unless Dani was sure. 

“Dani, what do you need?” 

“You.” 

“Are you sure?” Grace wasn’t questioning Dani so much as she was just making sure the feelings were mutual tonight. Dani grasped the back of her neck again, pulling her down. 

Grace lowered her head to capture Dani’s lips in a secure kiss, trying to convey all of her feelings for the brunette as best she could without words. Grace knew her actions were always stronger than anything she could manage to say. She tilted her head and deepened the kiss, inviting Dani to let herself go. She felt Dani’s heels dig into the backs of her legs. Grace ran one hand down Dani’s side, over the gentle curve of her hip, grasping a thigh, pulling it tighter against her own body. Dani pressed her hips against Grace’s, feeling the blonde’s arousal beginning beneath her uniform pants. Grace pushed back softly, and Dani gasped. Dani might have been ready for this, but Grace was suddenly unsure that she was. 

She pulled back from Dani’s grasp, her heart beating hard. She was trying to fight off the flashback that her body was triggering. Dani could see it all over Grace’s face. Desire and contentment were replaced by fear. She dug into Grace’s tank top, holding her, not letting her leave. “You’re not there anymore. This is not your nightmare. It’s me, Grace. It’s Daniella. Feel me.” Dani’s voice was soothing to Grace in a way it never had been before. It told her that Dani would forego all physical pleasure with her to keep her rooted in the present. Grace inhaled deeply, keeping the essential eye contact with Dani. This was the moment of truth for Grace, determining whether or not she had made any progress at all. 

“Grace, we don’t have to do anything tonight. We can just be here together.” Dani whispered as Grace buried her face in Dani’s neck. The offer of comfort and safety over sex was astounding to Grace. She’d never been given the option. She wanted to give Dani every bit of love she had for her. The well was full now. 

“Are we ok?” 

“We are, my love.” Dani’s reassurance broke the wall Grace had set up years ago. This was her home, here with Dani. Grace rolled off of her and onto her back. She suddenly felt better, less obligated to take charge. She did not want to feel anything like she did before. Dani turned, propped herself on an elbow, running her fingers over and back across the warrior’s belly, just under her shirt. “What is it? Tell me.” 

“Being on top of you like that. I’m not ready for that.” It was simple and honest, and Dani respected it. 

“Do you want to try another way? There are other things we can do.” 

Grace leaned her head to the side and was less than an inch away from Dani’s face, as she came in closer for a light kiss. “Like what?” Grace asked. Her experience with women had been limited to the positions that gave Grace the best physical advantage over them. Tonight, she wanted to surrender to Dani, and only Dani. The brunette leaned in and whispered something in her ear. Grace pulled back, her eyes glinting with a hint of desire again, and she started to come back around to the present moment. “No, I’ve never done that before.” 

Dani grinned, biting her bottom lip. “You could if you wanted to.” 

Grace huffed, the sound coming up from somewhere deep. “I do.” Dani rolled back away from Grace. 

“Touch me, then.” And that was all it took. Grace rolled tight against her, kissing her mouth harder this time, angling her head, opening herself to the woman she loved. Grace moved herself down, kissing Dani’s jaw and her chin, before pausing to consider her throat. She moved in anyway, making herself explore the area she had tattooed with fear. She brushed her lips across Dani’s throat, painstakingly caressing her there, apologizing without words. Grace reached down and began to pull Dani’s shirt up. Dani helped her out, by tugging it up over her head and discarding it somewhere beside them. Grace removed her tank top quickly. She leaned back to adore Dani’s naked upper body for a moment, before diving in to cup, caress, and kiss her breasts one at a time. Grace ran her tongue lightly over each nipple, feeling the tissue stiffen against her touch. Dani’s hands in her hair felt good, and Grace began to believe she was the only one who would ever touch Dani Ramos like this again. She felt the brunette push her head lower. Grace had never done this to a woman, but she was now excited and nervous all at once. This wasn’t just any woman. She reached between them and began to unbutton Dani’s pants, pulling them down and off. Dani started breathing harder, anticipating her lover’s next move. Grace moved down to rest between ample thighs, cradling them gently in her hands. She could smell Dani, and it was intoxicating. She had tasted Dani before, on her own fingers, but never directly. Grace pressed her mouth against the cotton panties, feeling the moisture seeping from them. Oh god, she thought, Dani was so wet already. 

“Please, Grace, I need you.” Grace ran her fingertips up to the waistband of the black panties, and pulled them down, yanking them below Dani’s knees, releasing one foot. They hung around her other ankle, but they could stay here for all Dani or Grace cared. Grace reached out and pushed Dani’s thighs further apart, inhaling more of her scent. She loved how Dani glistened and shined, and knew that she was the one who drew it all out. Dani’s fingers in her hair were more insistent now. Grace dipped her head and let her tongue go to work. She slipped between Dani’s folds, finding her clit first. Grace had known how to use her fingers to make Dani come, and figured this might not be different. She worked the hard bud with her entire tongue, working her way up one side and down the other, over the hood and then pushing it back with the tip of her tongue, using the underside to lick Dani’s most sensitive spot. Dani’s moans were delicious to her. She wanted to make her feel so good she would never want anyone else. Grace lowered her head to the wet entrance and dove in. She slid her tongue inside as deep as she could. Wetness covered her mouth and nose, threatening to drown her. She could feel Dani clenching against her face, and she knew the woman was close. She wanted Dani to come in her mouth, and as she moved to lick her even deeper, Dani pulled away. Grace was confused until Dani told her to lay down on her back. They rarely had time for all this. Most of their sex was taken where and when they could, between meetings and meals, right before Dani had to get up and leave for the day. 

Grace sat up and did as Dani told her. Dani moved beside her and took off her pants. She looked longingly at Grace’s enormous bulge inside the white boxer briefs. All Dani wanted was to feel Grace inside of her, but she wanted Grace to feel safe and cared for. Dani did not want to do anything that would trigger her right now. She leaned in and peeled Grace’s briefs off. She laid beside the blonde warrior, relaxing against her body, relishing the feeling of being totally naked together. Grace’s touch on her back was like fire, and every point of connection buzzed with electricity, fusing them. Dani could not wait any longer. She took Grace’s hard cock in her hand, stroked her slowly. She moved to straddle Grace’s hips, and guided the tip against her wet entrance. “Are you ready, Grace?” A deep, shaky breath and a nod was her response. Grace had never been in this position without demanding it. This was entirely new for her. There were no memories attached to it. Dani had just given Grace the gift of neuroplasticity, a new way to think. 

Slowly, Dani slid down on her, taking her entire length at once. Grace felt how tight Dani was around her, and she began to throb and ache until it hurt. She wanted to slam herself against Dani again and again until she exploded. But she held still and let Dani ride her slowly. Grace held her hips, but did not move her in any way. She smiled up at Dani, not believing this was happening, and how good it felt all at once. Dani moved up and down at first, slowly, then in languorous circles, grinding against Grace. She leaned forward and put both hands on Grace’s breasts, squeezing and tweaking the nipples lightly, just teasing her, wanting Grace to feel good. Dani clenched and released in a rhythm, exercising her own control over the woman below her. Every movement she made brought her closer and closer to her orgasm. “Oh God, Grace, you feel so good, and I’m going to come.” Grace pressed her hips up softly, penetrating Dani deeper with every stroke until Dani began to feel her climax overtake her. The storm within her peaked and made landfall between her and Grace. She slammed herself down hard against Grace, arching her back. She felt every particle of her being release, her mind splintered and she just felt where Grace was soft and hard and lean, and loving every part of her. Grace sat up against Dani, still inside of her, pulling the older woman's legs around her waist, to where Dani was sitting in her lap. Grace held her close and rocked them back and forth, trying to bring on her own orgasm. She was rock hard and could feel the head of her cock pressing against the bottom of Dani’s womb. “Yes. Come inside of me. I want all of you.” And Grace felt herself split wide open as she came with Dani, she twitched and throbbed and released. She felt like she was falling, tangled up in Dani like a parachute that wouldn’t open. Dani wrapped herself around Grace, holding her in a net of safety as they crashed over the cliff of sensation and pleasure together. 

Grace understood right then, that wherever she went, Dani was going to go with her.


	23. Beefeaters

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Who will survive and what will be left of them?  
> Apocalyptic dreams see the ordinary madness  
> Who will survive and what will be left of them?  
> I never lock the dogs when the wolf is in the darkness  
> Come on - come on the motherfucker's on fire  
> He cut through the bone, he cut through the wire."
> 
> -White Zombie

Dani worked most of the night, while Grace slept soundly just a few feet away. The light sound of Grace’s snoring was comforting to Dani. She was happy to not be alone in her room, working on the details of the massive campaign. In the early morning hours, Dani finally laid down next to Grace to gather all of her strength and courage for the meeting that was scheduled in the next couple of hours. Everything had to come together now. The Resistance was approaching the point of no return, and Dani could not afford any mistakes. 

She laid on her side, watching Grace breathe deep and even. She loved seeing the soldier so relaxed. It was a strange juxtaposition against Grace’s normal state of being, always wired for ready. Dani reached out and touched the blonde hair that was now messy from sleep. She softly rolled her fingers through it, careful not to wake Grace. No one would be getting much sleep in the coming days and weeks. As if on cue, Grace rolled over and wrapped an arm around Dani, pulling her in close. Grace was still naked from their earlier lovemaking, and hot from laying under the wool blankets. Grace snaked her hand up under Dani’s t-shirt, fingers rubbing her back. A sleepy smile crept across the blonde’s face, the only telling sign that she was awake. Dani leaned in and kissed that smile, tolerant of the morning breath. 

“I love you.” Dani whispered, watching Grace peel her eyes open in the dim light of the desk lamp. Even first thing in the morning, Grace’s eyes glowed bright blue. Grace’s smile remained plastered across her face. She rubbed Dani’s back, slipping her fingers under the bra strap, securing her digits in it. 

“I love you, too.” Grace’s eyes weren’t tracking correctly. They wandered and rolled, as Grace struggled to stay awake. Dani decided to let the great fighter sleep. She kissed Grace once more, and reluctantly pried herself away. She stood and finished dressing, tucking her shirt in, rolling her pant legs and lacing her boots tight. She braided her hair back and examined herself in the mirror. Commander Ramos. Dani took a deep breath and moved to leave. She turned back for a moment, watching the tall woman return to sleep in their bed, wool blanket covering her up to the lower curve of her back, barely above her buttocks. Dani could see every muscle group in Grace’s back where it connected to bone. The warrior exuded physical strength, even in such a relaxed state. Dani regarded her, thinking how absolutely beautiful she was just then. She realized this might be the last time, for quite a while to come, that she would see Grace here like this. It pained her to think of what was coming down the pipe, but steeled herself against the fear of such a thing. Dani had plans for Grace. She turned and quietly slipped out. 

The war room was set for the meeting. Dani entered the room and blasted it with the overhead light. The United States map was illuminated, showing every strategic point, roadway, waterway, and air travel route that was still relatively safe to use. She had patched together, over the course of a week, an entire network of possibilities. The first commanding officer to meet her was Jay Yellow Bear, representing the United Native American Tribes in Montana, Idaho, North Dakota, and Minnesota. Yellow Bear was from the Northern Arapaho tribe. He had unified the Blackfeet, Arapaho, Crow, and Northern Cheyene nations and confederacies after Judgement Day. His skin was dark and beset with wrinkles, giving away his age and experience. He wore his hair long and free, one lock braided and beaded, with an eagle feather tied into it. He was fierce looking, strong. Dani’s skin prickled at the sight of him. He was tall and thick through the chest. She would never want to fight him one-on-one. She was very glad he was on their side. Jay Yellow Bear shook her hand and stood beside her. He was easily as tall as Grace, if not more formidable. The next two commanders were from Washington and Iowa. Captain Dale Wiliams, from Washington, had been in charge of the Pacific Coast militias for three years now. There were four divisions under his command, all unified under the Resistance registry. Williams was young, probably younger than Dani, if she had to guess. His black fatigues had been issued to him when he arrived at Fort Bliss. He admitted that before his arrival, all he ever had were old jeans and sweaters that he looted over the years. He looked way out of his league, nervous, unproven. Master Sergeant Jeffery Fremont hailed from Des Moines, Iowa. He had been with the U.S. Army prior to Judgement Day. He had been a drill instructor at Fort Leonard Wood, training new recruits for basic combat. He had fled with his family when the bombs began to drop and everything fell apart. He regrouped with his old National Guard outfit in Des Moines and formed the five small units from Des Moines to Omaha, Nebraska. He had, in his command, most of the mobile firepower that had been scattered from Fort Leavenworth, including multiple tanks and other track vehicles, Apache helicopters, and sixteen U.S. Air Force F-22 Raptor jets. Master Sergeant Fremont seemed less than happy about Commander Ramos being in charge. He was a short man, stocky, and almost fat. He chewed the inside of his cheek relentlessly. They were waiting on three remaining commanders from St. Louis, Missouri, Fort Ripley, Minnesota, and the Naval Air Command in Corpus Christi. 

Dani invited everyone to sit, introduce themselves, and make small talk while they waited. The three men shook hands with each other and exchanged ranks and affiliations. Where you came from was a big deal, though under the banner of the Resistance, everyone was equal. Yellow Bear was quiet, silently gathering information about the people in the room. He must have been at least 60 years old, but still wise beyond what his features gave up about him. Williams and Fremont argued about whether or not Legion had control in Canada. Williams said yes, and Fremont would not believe him. He said it was too cold for machines to operate efficiently in the extreme north. Neither of them had been there, and little was known about the goings on north of the U.S. border. Everyone up there could already be dead, for all Dani knew. She sat patiently, listening to the two men bicker. She caught Yellow Bear looking at her and all she could do was flash him a knowing smile. Just then, two figures appeared in the war room doorway. Jessica Devereaux from St. Louis and Maggie Fischer from Ft. Ripley, Minnesota, made their way in. There were hushed apologies for lateness. Devereaux had been an entrepreneur in the tech industry prior to the war. She had no military experience, but was a clever leader by nature. In the first months after Judgement Day, Devereaux had turned from technology to doomsday prepping, if a little late. She amassed supplies and people to form a stronghold outside of St. Louis. She was in charge of the newly formed 1st Bank of the West, specializing in supply and trade. Despite its name, the 1st Bank was well known to take care of civilians and military personnel alike. Devereaux’s operation dealt in weapons and vehicles of all types, anything to help with the fight against Legion. She was in her mid 40s, short black hair peppered with gray. Her dark gray eyes told of things she had seen and experienced. Her face was permanently formed into a scowl. Dani decided she was probably fit for command just because of that look on her face. Maggie Fischer was of German descent, a native of Duluth, Minnesota. Her family had been dairy farmers before the war. Maggie had brought local farming communities under the yolk of the Resistance in its very early days. Up north, Fischer said, the Resistance had been referred to as “die Ursache” in German, or “the Cause.” Maggie Fischer was young, late twenties, blonde haired and blue eyed, and reminded Dani very much of Grace. Lastly, a third woman entered the room. Her name was Master Gunnery Sergeant Lucinda Craine, from Corpus Christi, Texas. She served with the Naval Air Command after Judgement Day when all the surrounding military bases fell apart. She was in charge of a vast network along the Gulf of Mexico that monitored, sabotaged, and undermined Legion forces in the water. Craine was a beautiful woman, Dani noticed. Late 50s, flawless ebony skin, and her head was shaved clean. She reminded Dani of Okoye from the Black Panther movie from back before the war. Craine was a goddess warrior, fit in every way, from how she held her posture, to the authority in her voice, to the recollection of her military experience. When all the introductions were complete, the commanders of the Resistance commenced planning the next phase of taking back the world. 

Ultimately, the plan had been formed and agreed upon. With the advent of new transport, equipment, supplies, and weapons, the United Native American Tribes would combine with the Pacific Coast militias to draw fire from Legion along the northern border. Commander Ramos assured Williams and Yellow Bear that supplies would be as continuous to them as they became available. Fremont would gather his forces and mobilize to Fort Leonard Wood, which was now the forward operating base for the River Assault. Fischer would aid in supplying ammunition both west, to Yellow Bear, and south, to Devereaux. From there, the line of supply would continue to Craine, at the southern coast. Cooperation between all the groups was paramount to success. While the northern forces were keeping Legion busy, Craine’s command would consist of inland missile strikes into the open water, creating the need for Legion to focus on the coast. It was a divide and conquer strategy. Fort Bliss would continue sending air support and weapons to the three major focal points. Commander Ramos’ Resistance fighters would all gather with Fremont at Ft. Leonard Wood in the next 7 days, combining with his forces. Dani would pick up as many reinforcements along the way as she was able. The engineers at Ft. Bliss were only two days away from completion of the blast doors that would protect their supply tunnels. The visiting commanders were taken to the fourth sublevel to inspect the new weapons and vehicles. 

Dani Ramos was about to pass out. The intensity of the whole situation was insane. Great and powerful leaders and warriors were under her command, and were actually listening to her. Her original plan went mostly unchanged, which told her that these men and women agreed that it was the most efficient and effective strategy for pushing back on the machines. 

One effective weapon that Dani now had in her arsenal were symbols of unification across the entire Human Resistance. Thousands of black, tactical battle dress uniforms had been rolling in from Juarez this week. The new uniforms would ally every soldier under her newly formed and expanded command. Every uniform bore a red arm band on the right sleeve, depicting a black serpent eating its own tail: the ouroboros. Banners and flags were being produced also. At first it did not seem like a big deal, but Dani understood how vital it was to believe everyone was on the same side. No particular base was more important than another, no soldier better or worse than the next. Dani had even started wearing the arm band before the meeting, as a model for the rest. The psychological impact of the symbol was intended to give every human being involved a sense of purpose and hope that the cause was the foundation of the future of the human race. 

While the visiting commanders were in the level below, meeting with Tech Sergeant Welch, Dani went back to her office to cut a new set of orders. Jay Yellow Bear had expressed concern for her safety in the weeks to come. Commander Ramos would not hide in the safety of Fort Bliss. She would be boots on the ground with everyone else. She believed in leading by example, and honestly could not wait to get into the fray. However, her importance as the top leader made her a target for Legion. She would need a personal detail assigned to her for protection. A queen’s guard, Yellow Bear had said, Beefeaters. Dani could think of no better qualified detail than that of Lieutenant Grace Harper and the Carlsbad Rangers.


	24. Rebirth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Breathe, trust, bless me and release,  
> Climb, hard or never be seen.  
> Closed off, rescue to breathe.  
> Just bless me.
> 
> Two sided time,  
> Your rebirth can't hurt,  
> Branch out behind, the pain."
> 
> -Chevelle

The next couple of days ran into one another and became a week. Everything was slower than Commander Ramos had anticipated. She grew impatient when things began to hit snags and slow down too much. There were problems with the bunker-buster HKs including wiring issues with the comms. Grace had been busy helping to fix some of the issues. The cockpits of the HKs had been remodeled to accommodate a single pilot, and some were wired to be flown remotely. However, the ones that were meant for human pilots had to be completely reformatted with older human technology. In a lot of cases with the aircraft, the new and old technology did not work well together. The engineers and techs down on the fourth sublevel were doing their best to make everything come together. The Scorpions were amazing. Dani loved watching them take off. The landing gear came up under the craft and pilots were able to control pitch, yaw, altitude, and other things Dani did not understand about flying. The Scorpions were elegant. They were enormous, armored machines capable of carrying men and supplies far faster over longer distances than traditional aircraft or trucks. They were also designed to fly under Legion’s radar. 

Every day sounded like a raging battle, with constant gunshots coming from sublevel 4. Every hour saw a new rotation of soldiers and new recruits. They were first issued their uniforms, even if the sizes were a little off. There was no time to tailor. Then they were issued an Equalizer rifle and taken to the firing range to learn it. The first few days, Grace had been down there non-stop, helping soldiers become familiar with the new equipment. Jaurez had also started sending light kevlar battle armor. Now there were vests, helmets, shoulder shields, gloves, and leg shields too. It reminded Dani of when Diego decided to be a skateboarder for a year during high school. The manufacturing capabilities of Juarez, Tijuana, and Mexico City were mind-boggling. Some things had been scavenged and reinforced, painted black and sent forward. Some of the equipment was brand new. But there seemed to be a never-ending supply. 

Jay Yellow Bear and Captain Dale Williams took the first flights out, since they had the farthest to go. Their plan was to carry weapons and ammunition, food and clothing and armor, north, as fast as they could. Lucinda Craine sent orders to Corpus Christi to bring up several pilots to replace the ones that escorted the commanders of the north back home. Major Emery did not want to give up any part of his crew, but he understood the importance of moving quickly. He also understood that most of them probably weren’t coming back. Commander Ramos ordered 10 Scorpions and 8 remotely piloted bunker-buster HK’s to go with them. It was a magnificent sight watching them fly off toward the Canadian border. Aside from fighting the machines up north, Yellow Bear and Williams would divide their new forces along the way, and draw Legion’s attention away from the pathways to St. Louis. Commander Ramos would need all the cover she could get to cross all of Texas, Oklahoma and parts of Kansas. Master Sergeant Fremont had all but guaranteed them safe passage until Springfield, Missouri. Then it was a twisted mess of no-man's-land until Fort Leonard Wood. Along the way, his arsenal of pre-war machines would join the convoy. While Legion was being kept busy in the North, Maggie Fischer would sneak quietly back up to Fort Ripley to begin work on shunting ammunition in two directions. She was given 10 of the scorpions also, but only one HK. Fischer had brought her own pilots to train on the new equipment. She also loaded uniforms, armor, and supplies. She had all the ammunition she needed at home. She told Dani, under an oath of secrecy, that the ammunition was coming out of Ontario, Canada. She honestly did not know who was sending it, but was grateful that they were. When Fischer prepared to depart, Dani hugged her tight and said something awkward about gift horses. 

Master Gunnery Sergeant Lucinda Craine had proved to be a most valuable asset to the effort to get everything out the door. She had entered sublevel 4 on the first day and basically took over operations down there. She already had experience with the Scorpion craft and the bunker-busters. The Naval Air Command had access to these machines from the first month of their inception, before Legion took control of the Gulf of Mexico. That had been a useful supply line for Corpus Christi until then. Craine was grateful for reinforcements, and Commander Ramos was happy to oblige. 

While Jessica Devereaux had supplies, weapons, and ammunition, and even people, what she did not have was the means to distribute it. Everything she had in supply was on a “come-get-it" basis. She lacked military personnel with combat training, as well as any vehicles to advance the cause. She was the most in need of everything. Since Forts Bliss and Leonard Wood were so heavily fortified with most of the armored vehicles, they would provide the lion’s share to the River Assault in St. Louis. Fremont had sent out word that they were coming, and to meet them along the way, forming a large caravan of weapons, supplies, soldiers, aircraft and vehicles. Commander Ramos had 18 HK’s under her command, 25 Scorpions, all the pre-war aircraft, trucks, supplies, gear, and weapons. They were set to leave in two days. There were no more militias, no more scavengers. There was only the Human Resistance under one flag. Commander Daniella Ramos had her army as Grace from before had prophesied. 

Grace had been busy with helping the tech crew get the HKs in working order. She had also been on the firing range in her spare time. She was getting excited about going out again. She wanted to fly, but the sudden forward momentum of the campaign prevented her from having any more than one flying lesson on the C1-30 and a single flight on a Speed Hawk helicopter. She swore to Major Emery that she remembered everything, but he insisted that her new assignment with the commander was far more important. Grace liked to argue that she could actually remember shit (her words), but Emery was having none of it. The Commander’s orders were final. Grace was more than happy to remain by Dani’s side, but she was also afraid that she would not be able to pull her true weight watching over the Commander. The Rangers would not let Dani get into too much trouble if they could help it at all. Grace was antsy to get into the thick of it with Legion and take some revenge. Grace’s protective instinct toward Dani Ramos kicked in hard. Grace would lay down her own life to protect Dani, but that really went without saying these days. In a way, Grace believed she owed Dani for at least two times. 

Major Emery had flight times planned over the next day and half to test the new equipment and make sure communications toward the east could be established and maintained. Communication was vital in knowing Legion’s whereabouts, especially while the slower ground traffic was en route. He had Grace join him briefly to learn how to pilot a Scorpion. He told her that her knowledge would be invaluable as a backup pilot in case things went to hell. She tried to understand that without feeling left out completely. Her heart had been with the flight crew for the last weeks. Then again, she’d been a ranger for years. That is where she was most experienced. Dani and Emery both knew that, and the decision to have her as a combat soldier again was logical. 

Everything was running as smoothly as could be expected with the comms panel issues, and adjustments to new schedules for almost 300 people, minus Emery’s flight crew members. Not everyone was going east. Mothers and young children, the elderly, and disabled would stay behind. They were briefed on the importance of keeping the home fires burning, anticipating the return of the Resistance soldiers. Dani could not tell them when they’d be back, if they would return at all. Dr. Emma Montoya would assume command while Dani was away. She was by far, the most qualified civilian left on base. Dani told her that she would be in contact several times a day, checking on reinforcements coming up from the south tunnels. Dr. Montoya was hesitant to take on command, but Dani reassured her it was temporary, and she was right for the job. Dani would not have asked her if she did not think Emma was capable. 

Dani had notched out some time to spend the evening with Grace. She had not thought that they would have any free time, since their sleeping schedules now rotated. Grace worked days, and Dani worked all the time. She could not remember the last time she slept through the night. Every free moment Dani had to sleep was spent in her bed, alone, or on her office couch, also alone. She missed Grace quite a bit, and tried not to think about it too much. If she did, she was overwhelmed with fear and emotions so deep she could not handle them under the stress of command. 

Dinner was rice and beans. It was a nice change from mystery meat and apples. The rice and beans were always mushy, but Juarez always kept them in supply with good hot sauce and tortillas. It reminded Dani of a better time. Dani missed a lot of things from her life before. That was her cross to bear. That was never coming back, and her memories often leaked from her eyes and ran down her face when she least expected it. Tonight, was one of those times. She sat at her usual table, surrounded by excited soldiers and family members who were all trying to pack in as many good memories as they could before heading out. Dani kept to herself, using her mangled napkin to keep her emotions in check. That familiar shadow crept over her as heavy boots sounded its approach. Dani managed a smile as the tall blonde sat down beside her to share a meal. Grace slid right up next to her, so that Dani could feel the press of her thigh against Grace’s, elbow to elbow. Grace did this thing under the table, where she would hook one of her feet between Dani’s, securing herself to her partner. Dani turned to meet Grace’s eyes, saying hello. Dani’s eyes grew wide as Grace dipped her head down to kiss the Commander. She felt like a deer in the headlights suddenly, and did not know whether to move in or away. She stalled but Grace’s aim was true as was her resolve to publicly announce their relationship. At the very last second, Dani decided that Grace was right. There wasn’t time or luxury to hide from people now. They could all be dead in two days. Dani caught her lover’s mouth with her own, and smiled into the kiss. She was absolutely in love with Grace Harper. They did not speak, but it wasn’t necessary. Dani did not want to yell over the crowd, and Grace could be counted on not to need conversation until they were alone together. They tucked in to their meals and shared each other’s company. Grace must have been feeling frisky, Dani noticed, because occasionally, as Dani would manage a forkful of rice or beans, Grace would playfully reach out and knock it off the tines with her own utensil. Grace’s levity was refreshing to Dani. Things had been way too serious between them lately. Their laughter and playfulness solidified the entire reason the Resistance was fighting Legion. 

After dinner, they took the walk home, hand in hand, silent, but their way with each other spoke more than either of their words ever could. Dani could read Grace like a book. Grace learned Dani’s love language and spoke it fluently. At the door to their room, Grace stopped Dani in the hallway. She turned Dani to face her. Grace held Dani’s hands at her side, gently tangling their fingers together. She looked down into those deep amber irises and absolutely melted Dani where she stood. That gaze was full of love, longing, protectiveness, and something deeper that Dani could not identify. Whatever it was felt wonderful, and Grace was beautiful in it. 

Dani punched in the code, and they slipped inside, away from the outside world. 

Once inside, Dani stopped Grace right at the door. She knelt down in front of the blonde warrior, looking up at her with gentle eyes. Grace’s eyes widened and her brow furrowed. Dani just smiled and looked down. Grace felt the unexpected twinge in her body, half wondering what the hell was happening. Dani knelt lower and began unlacing Grace’s boots one at a time. She loosened the first boot, and guided Grace’s knee up so Dani could slip it off. She did the same with the second one. As a younger woman, Dani remembered how tired her father would be after work, and he fell asleep in his chair with his work boots on. She would always unlace them and take them off while he slept. This was that same sort of love and care she took with Grace. Conversely, Grace had never had anyone do this for her before. She was unsure how to act. Was there something she was supposed to be doing besides watching the woman she cared for most in the universe take off her shoes? Dani set the boots by the door, as per Grace’s typical routine. She lifted a foot and rolled off a sock that had seen better days. There was a huge hole in the heel, and the sock was sweaty from Grace’s feet. The other sock was not much better. Dani loved that her feet never smelled worse than the sweat from that day. Dani would throw the socks away and get Grace some new ones when she wasn’t looking. It was just like Grace to keep a thing until it was completely worn out. 

Grace bent to help Dani stand. She was captivated by the brunette’s unending reservoir of devotion to her. She never felt entirely deserving of Dani’s affection. However, with every token of love Dani passed to her; Grace embraced it and became a better person for her. Dani understood everything that made Grace who she was, even if she’d never know the details. Grace had saved her life more than one time, and Dani would never forget that. A big part of Dani was living for Grace every day. She believed that the blonde deserved every bit of kindness and tenderness that she had to offer her; and she would give it all willingly. Grace slid her arms around Dani’s waist and pulled her close. Dani slipped her hands softly up the front of her partner’s body, absolutely familiar with every inch of her. There was no inhibition that Dani felt when it came to touching Grace. She knew every part and was comfortable on a level that she’d never experienced with another human being. 

“Kiss me.” Dani whispered. She reached up around Grace’s neck, curling her fingers into soft blonde hair. She pulled Grace down to her, loving the way the blonde gave herself every time. Their lips met, soft and smooth, the kiss was like silk on glass. Dani could not decide whether they needed a night together of softness and sleep; or if she needed the other dynamic that they shared. There was an aggressive/submissive level of their relationship also. It was the one Dani was introduced to by Grace in the early days of their relationship. Dani secretly loved how Grace would take her without being sorry. She also understood that Grace was trying not to go there anymore. However, Commander Ramos needed Grace to be hard going into battle, to be able to fight ruthlessly. Dani need to know that she would be protected by this soldier without hesitation or question. She might have to provoke it anyway. 

Grace could sense that Dani was deep in thought about something. She wanted to know and understand everything going on inside the brunette. Grace had seen Dani distracted by something to the point of anxiety and panic before. Grace loved that Dani trusted her with those things now, and all she had to do was ask for them. “What is it, Dani?” 

Dani was about to step into a very gray area. Each step was precarious, dangerous, and still very exciting. She did not know if Grace was ready, or if she could handle it. She felt like she was putting her hand down in a snake hole, not knowing if she’d get bit or not. “Where are you, Grace? Where is your state of mind?” She reached up and took a strong hold of Grace’s shirt collar, pulling her downward, close to her face without kissing her. Grace stared at her, almost through her. 

“I’m fine. What do you want?” The confident tone coming from the young blonde rippled throughout Dani’s entire body, sending a shock of heat and energy right to the very center of her. Grace knew exactly where this was going. 

“I think you know,” Dani whispered, pulling Grace close enough to feel her breath on her mouth. Her breath hitched, and Dani flicked her tongue out and licked upward across both of Grace’s lips. She was starving, gagging for this. 

Grace’s heart pounded. Her adrenaline was rushing. Her cock began to harden and throb. She could do this...she could remain in control. This was both the most erotic and frightening moment she had ever experienced with Dani; one where she was right at the edge of losing control and holding everything together for both of them. She wanted to give Dani what she needed. She searched Dani’s eyes for confirmation that they were on the same page. Dani reached out and placed her hand against Grace’s bulge in response. 

“Turn around.” Grace commanded..


	25. Inbound

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Oh, you fool, there are rules I am coming for you   
> Darkness brings evil things, oh, the reckoning begins 
> 
> I tried to warn you when you were a child   
> I told you not to get lost in the wild   
> I sent omens and all kinds of signs   
> I taught you melodies, poems, and rhymes.” 
> 
> -Lord Huron

The base alarm at Fort Bliss sounded at 0400, alerting everyone that it was time to rise and shine. Every single soldier mustered and prepared to make the long journey to the Mississippi River at St. Louis, Missouri. The wheeled vehicle convoy expected a 18-hour trip, if nothing stood in their way. That was the best-case scenario for the soldiers who had to drive the ground equipment. Their part of the trek was the most dangerous. They would be sitting ducks out there, if Legion forces found them. Commander Ramos had determined the best course of action was to split the caravan into two smaller groups. One group would take the most direct route on the old highway 27, as most of it was still intact. The other group would divert south, taking highway 20. Both routes led to Fort Leonard Wood. Master Sergeant Fremont had promised both units extra firepower and protection. It was a huge risk, sending soldiers over that great a distance, basically on foot. For every minute one spent outside, exposed, the likelihood of a Legion attack increased. When the two separate units and the flight teams were ready to mobilize, Commander Ramos gathered them and addressed them in the east loading bay. Over 300 soldiers were loaded, armed, armored, and looking scared shitless. 

Dani was so nervous; she did not know what to say to them. The Commander’s voice echoed through the concrete bunker on sublevel 4. 

“Soldiers of the Resistance,” she began, “I know you are scared. This journey you’re about to take will be long. It will be extremely dangerous. For those of you going by ground, good luck and godspeed. Those of you moving by air, may the wind be at your back today. I know many of you have questioned why we are doing this. A full assault on Legion is probably going to be catastrophic. I calculate great losses on both sides. However, if we are going to beat these fucking monsters, we have to do it now. We have to take them on the ground and in the air. You, men and women of the HUMAN Resistance, are the greatest fighting forces in the world. Those machines can’t think like we can. They can’t understand what it means to want to live. They will never have families, children, or friends. They will never love another the way that we can!” Dani felt Grace shift behind her. “Those things will never rest. They will never stop. Legion only knows one thing: how to kill. And we are going to teach it another thing: how to die! This is OUR world, not theirs! Our fate is not written in stone! It’s time to take back what is ours!” The bay erupted into shouts and cheers for Commander Ramos. Her battle cry was loud and effective. The Resistance was ready. 

The transports were loaded with supplies and soldiers. It was now or never. The bay doors creaked open one more time, allowing for the Scorpions and bunker-buster HKs to fly free. “Rangers, load up!” Grace’s commanding presence called for her team to move. Dani adjusted the chin strap of her helmet, took Grace’s helping hand, and loaded up into the second Scorpion in the queue. The engines roared to life all at once. The sound was deafening. Sergeant Adam Henry manned the door gun. Vanda and Grace sat near the cockpit, wearing a headset to communicate with the pilots over the noise. Privates Ruiz and Edwards, both young men in their 20s, sat on either side of Dani, weapons at the ready. Hundreds of soldiers loaded into every vehicle under Dani’s command, beginning the treacherous journey east, toward the sun. It was a cold morning, despite being quite beautiful, with the sun blazing a trail into the morning sky. Hues of orange and pink streaked across the heavens. It was only something a human could appreciate, Dani mused. She looked over at Grace, who was facing the pilot, and watched her breath form in the chilly morning air. Dani was struck dumb by a simple display of her humanity, her mortality. Her heart swelled with her love for the woman, her pulse pounded for fear of what lay ahead. 

The Scorpions flew low over the land, allowing them to fly undetected. The HK’s flew at a higher altitude, but much faster. The remotely piloted craft were under the control of the HKs being piloted by actual humans. Tech Sergeant Welch had designed a brilliant way to enslave the remote craft to mimic the one its signal was tethered to. Essentially one Resistance pilot became two. Dani watched behind them as long as she was able, watching the ground forces hit the road. They were out of sight too soon for her liking. She would worry for them until they reached Fort Leonard Wood. Her flight was scheduled to take less than seven hours. She had strapped in to her seat, cradled her rifle, leaned her head back and tried to relax for a bit. 

Dani felt Ruiz move away from her. He was replaced by Grace. She had motioned for him to change places with her. Dani looked up at the hardened soldier beside her. Grace’s eyes were like ice. Her stare saw things a thousand yards away, some things that weren’t even there. Dani knew Grace was in her zone. This is what the apocalypse had done to Grace. This is who it made her. Grace Harper was a trained killer. She was very good at it. The engines and the wind were too much for conversation between them, even only inches apart. Dani was cold beneath her armor, uniform, and thermal under clothes. Her cheeks were freezing, probably red from burning in the wind. Grace checked her over in a sort of a limited, field medic way; just making sure she was ok on a very basic level. Hypothermia was a very real thing, and the wind just amplified the possibilities for everyone. Grace reached down and put a hand on Dani’s thigh, squeezing gently, before she rose up to check Edwards. Grace moved around the seating area, holding on to the straps that restrained the cargo. She was checking everyone. Ruiz moved back to sit beside Dani. 

She had fallen asleep to the rumble of the Scorpion engines and the constant dip and lift of the craft as it glided gracefully along the landscape. Ruiz elbowed her awake. She looked at him, and he pointed to something out in front of them. Dani peered out, letting her eyes adjust to the bright light of midmorning. There was a single C1-30 plane and several helicopters flying in formation beside them. Major Emery would have been at the controls of the giant plane. The helicopters were Speed Hawks from Fort Bliss, and Apaches from Fremont’s arsenal. They were providing support and an escort. Dani realized they must be getting close to Fort Leonard Wood. At that moment, as Dani got lost in her head, a formation of F-22 Raptors zoomed by overhead. The jets were louder than the Scorpion engines. Dani felt a swell of hope and pride, as her eyes began to fill with tears. For all of Fremont’s bluster and snide looks, he was a man of his word. This was bigger than a woman being in command. This was life or death, and Fremont was on board. 

Fort Leonard Wood looked much like the other towns and forts they passed along the way. It was in various states of disrepair. Some buildings were destroyed. Some still stood. Some were partially knocked down, and the whole area looked deserted. It was its own town at one time, with a population of nearly 50,000. Today, however, that number was much lower. According to Fremont, there were around 5000 soldiers and 2500 civilians left there. The fort had no airfield in its heyday. After Judgement Day, military forces began using the surrounding fields as airstrips. That was, until Legion’s presence became too big in St. Louis. Flying in and out had become dangerous on a good day. 

Grace stood as they approached the closest air strip. She turned to everyone on board and began to yell. “When we touch down, there are trucks ready to take us in. Haul balls to the trucks. Do not wait. Just load and go. Legion is inbound to our location! Keep your weapons ready!” Grace could see expressions change on every single face. What was once a look of strength and intestinal fortitude, suddenly became a look of fear and dread. It was typical of soldiers when they faced certain death. Grace nodded to them all, and watched out the port side of the Scorpion as it began to slow down. The landing gear unfolded, angling different ways to lay the craft softly on the ground. The top guns opened up as the shrill screams of legion HKs could be heard above them. “GO! GO! GO!” Grace ordered at the top of her lungs, pushing soldiers forward out of the aircraft. Dani unbuckled and jumped to the ground, her feet unsteady from the constant motion sustained for hours. She looked up one time to see machines descending upon them. Grace was the last one, of 25 soldiers off the Scorpion. They grabbed crates of supplies, weapons and ammunition, while the Scorpion pilots manned the big guns. Everyone was responsible for loading gear onto the trucks. The big guns opened fire on the incoming Rev-7s. Dani did not know they could fly. She climbed up on to the tailgate of one truck, where everyone else was already inside. More Scorpions began to land, guns blazing. The repurposed HKs made a detour to cut the Legion forces in half further east. The airfield had become a war zone. Dani hunkered down behind the tailgate, her Equalizer locked and loaded. She scanned the ground for Grace, who was still with the pilots. She was giving them directions to scramble and take cover elsewhere. The Revs exploded in the sky as they were being shot down. Some of them tumbled to the earth, manifesting as the nightmares they really were, tentacles and hellish red eyes. 

“Grace!” Dani yelled for her, but Grace either had not heard her or was ignoring her. She watched Grace open the last crate, forgotten on board by scattering human soldiers. She shouldered as many of the rifles as she could and headed for the truck Dani was on. Revs were marching behind her, and the trucks were peeling out. “Drop them, Grace!” The guns were slowing her down, and the truck was already in motion. Grace took two big steps and jumped forward, grabbing the tailgate and crouching on the bumper of the truck as they began to speed away. Dani, Ruiz, Vanda, and Henry opened fire on the machines at their six. Edwards took guns from Grace and helped her into the back of the truck. She rolled over the tailgate and landed with a thump at Dani’s feet. Commander Ramos ceased fire, reached down and hauled Grace backward into the depths of the truck bed. “Do not be stupid, soldier! Your life isn’t worth a few guns!” Dani was pissed off. Grace did not need to start being a hero. Grace largely ignored her, shouldering her weapon and taking her place among the queen’s guard, firing on Legion’s remaining attackers until they were out of range. It reminded Dani of being dropped at Biggs Airfield and having to run for their lives to the South tunnel. 

The large blast doors were open as the line of diesel trucks rolled inside. The underground network at Fort Leonard Wood was unfinished. When Legion took out the power grid in 2021, the tunnels under the base were still under construction. That all stopped suddenly. It was left to men with shovels and pickaxes to carve out a crude system of living quarters and a command center. It was nothing like Fort Bliss. This was literally a cave, a hole in the earth behind a single 2-foot-thick metal door. Once inside, the trucks came to a halt. There were six of them, packed full of shaken soldiers and equipment. The metallic thumps of tailgates dropping open was followed by orders shouted and boots on the ground. Everything had to be taken to the bay to be processed. To look at all sitting on the ground, Grace had to admit that it wasn’t much. This was not going to fortify anyone against a battle with Legion. She had to remind herself that the rest was on the way. They just had to stay hidden until then. The trucks began backing up outside, ready for another round whenever it came. The heavy doors closed quickly, and Grace felt a slight modicum of safety. She went to go check on Dani, who was currently doing a head count. They had nearly 120 soldiers on the flight between all the crafts, excluding the pilots, who were god knows where. Grace could hear explosions outside, faint and far away. She moved to stand beside Dani, checking the smaller woman over for injuries. She looked ok on first inspection. At this point, it was all hands on deck to get the supplies organized and distributed. Soldiers from Ft. Leonard Wood were arriving to help en masse. This was the easy leg of the operation. It would be harder for the ground crews now that Legion was aware of the human presence. They’d be patrolling the area for the rest of the day. Sergeant Fremont would bring the rain, keeping them safe as well as he could. The area between Springfield and the fort was a total mess. Grace had seen it as they were flying over. The roads had been destroyed, replaced by giant holes placed sporadically across the ground. Blown apart buildings and long dead vehicles clogged the path. It would definitely slow the incoming traffic down. It also kept Legion from having a tactical advantage, if they could not efficiently maneuver through the area. Grace just hoped that the drivers were as good as they said. 

All anyone could do now was wait. The vehicles were at least another six hours out. Commander Ramos met with the commanding officer of Fort Leonard Wood, Staff Sergeant Jason Gordon. He was pretty rough looking. If Dani had to guess, she would say he was almost 50 years old. He wore a long grayish brown beard, and a black eyepatch over the spot where his right eye should have been. He was nearly six feet tall, a robust man. He looked the part of the post-apocalyptic warlord. His clothes were raggedy and torn in spots. He wore a sawed-off shotgun against one hip, a long Bowie knife strapped to the other. He held out a huge, mangled hand to take Dani’s. She welcomed his shake, as his and engulfed hers. Gordon was surprisingly gentle. Dani offered him a folded cloth triangle. The Resistance Flag. It was just plain red with the balck ouroboros. He unfolded it right there to take a look, careful not to let it touch the ground. “Nice!” He folded it in half and handed it to a subordinate soldier, directing her to run it up the pole. “You got everyone accounted for, Commander?” Gordon’s voice was probably louder than necessary. Perhaps he had suffered some hearing damage during the war. Everyone had lost something to the machines. He turned and motioned for Dani to follow him. Grace and Vanda were hot on their heels. Grace’s orders for the Rangers were not to ever let the commander out of their sight. 

Grace listened to Sergeant Gordon yell too loudly at Dani as they walked toward the command center. “I’ll show you quarters. We have open barracks, bunks for most of your men.” Gordon turned to regard Grace and Vanda. “And women.” Grace did not like being categorized as a woman in battle. She certainly did not like his attitude. But he was in charge here. She swallowed her pride and kept pace with them. She heard Vanda stifle a laugh. “Most of our food is just old MRE’s. We get supplies from St. Louis, I think you know Devereaux?” Dani nodded. “Yeah, she’s been a life saver here. We’d have been starved out by now if it weren’t for her bank. Anyway, it ain’t the Ritz Carlton, but you can rest easy down here for now. Welcome to what's left of Fort Leonard Wood, ma’am.” Gordon ushered Dani through a doorway that opened up into the open barracks. They weren’t well supplied at all. The mattresses looked a hundred years old, stained and bowed in the middle from years of heavy bodies. Half of the bunks did not have sheets or pillows. That was something Dani loved about Fort Bliss. Every bed was always ready. “Your troops can bunk here. I’ll show you to your private quarters. Again, it ain’t much. After you’ve settled a little, ma’am, we can regroup with the other officers and discuss what needs to be done next. We left a box of MRE’s in your quarters.” Jason Gordon nodded to Dani and continued on down the darkened corridor. The hallway was lit by a cobbled together string of work lamps and extension cords. Dani could smell the diesel fuel being burned by generators somewhere in the bowels of the bunker. 

Not optimal, she realized, but doable. She was grateful for the safety provided, no matter what state it might have been in. She also realized that this base was housing some 7500 people down here. She could not comprehend how far forward and out the underground network expanded. It was probably a series of hand-carved tunnels extending throughout the entire town, much like Fort Bliss. Dani turned to look at Grace, who was whispering to Vanda. All Dani caught was, “and when you round them up, we’ll take bunks on this end, closest to the Commander.” Vanda nodded to Grace and went off in the direction of the remaining rangers. Grace stood about ten feet from Dani, turned toward her, and took advantage of this moment alone. She strode up to the commander, reached down and unhooked the chin strap of Dani’s helmet. She gently pulled it off of her head and cradled it under one arm. Grace looked her over again or signs of injury. “I won’t be far away, just right down there.” Grace jerked her head back in the direction of the open barracks. 

Dani looked around, but did not really care who was looking, if anyone at all. The place was oddly quiet and deserted for what had just happened. She returned the serious look on Grace’s face. “Oh, no, soldier. You’re staying with me.” Grace’s top lip curled into that familiar crooked smile, and her eyes softened a bit. 

“I was hoping you’d say that, Commander.” Grace reached out, brushing back a stray strand of hair from Dani’s face. Dani reached up and took her hand, turned and led them down to their new quarters. The room did not have an entry pad, or a lock for that matter. The door was not a heavy security door. It was just a simple plywood bedroom door, probably scavenged from a home. The inside was interesting. There was no bed. There was no table or desk. There was a closet with old, wire hangers, a sink, a toilet, and a couch. “This will be comfy, ma’am,” Grace joked. She’d sleep on the floor if she could stay near Dani right now. She believed Dani would only be truly safe under her direct supervision. 

“Wait. I’ll bet you...” Dani’s voice trailed off as she approached the sofa. She pulled the tattered, torn cushions off to reveal a hide-away bed underneath. She reached down and pulled it out. It unfolded into a nearly queen-sized bed. Two pillows were smashed down in the middle, and folded neatly underneath looked like clean sheets and wool blankets. Dani smiled at Grace just then, “awww, it IS the Ritz Carlton!” Both women laughed, and were both glad for the moment to do so. Grace moved to touch Dani, in the relative privacy of another shared room. They were both heavily armored, and Grace still carried her rifle. She shouldered Dani’s Equalizer when the Commander set it down earlier. Grace unsnapped her chin strap and removed her own helmet. Dani looked her over, noting the blonde warrior was no worse for the wear. For the first time, looking at Grace now, decked out in a uniform, armor, and armed, Dani realized how hot Grace was. She met Grace half way, running her hands up the front of the kevlar vest. Grace slipped a hand behind Dani’s neck, lowered her head down and met Dani’s mouth in a soft kiss. She felt Dani tremble beneath her touch, and it gave Grace a great sense of pleasure and accomplishment as her personal guard.


	26. Inertia

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “We talked about our mothers  
> Kissed the wounds of our fathers  
> I could have been your sister  
> I would have been your brother  
> You kissed me like I was a soldier  
> Headed for a war  
> I dying man but I don't know what for  
> And you were only joking.” 
> 
> -Amy Ray

Dani pulled back from Grace, completely out of her arms, taking a full step away from her. Grace began to worry for the Commander. Shit was getting serious, Grace knew, and Dani would absorb the full impact one way or another. Dani did not break eye contact with Grace. She just stood there, motionless, watching her. They’d done this before, just stood and stared silently at each other. It was as if they were trying to memorize one another in the short time they had together. This was the furthest either of them had been from home before. Dani thought they might as well be on another planet. She had no idea what the terrain looked like that they’d be fighting on, other than the massive river. She knew that Legion’s forces were grouped together just on the other side of the water. She looked Grace over, taking in the sight of the blonde warrior in front of her. She was dressed head to toe in black. The only colors on her were her golden locks and the red Resistance arm band. She did not know how much time they had together before meetings had to start with the rest of the officers. She could take Grace with her to the meetings, since she was, after all, a Lieutenant. She’d have to know the plan of attack and how best to protect Dani. Grace laid down their helmets on the floor next to the small closet. She unshouldered Dani’s rifle and leaned it against the wall. She took hers and set it down against her foot, holding the barrel between two fingers. She exhaled heavily. Dani could see her eyes working on some question that she’d rather not ask. Dani knew Grace didn’t like asking for things that much. That’s why Dani learned to read the subtle cues Grace’s body language spoke instead. Grace was nervous. She wanted something. Dani knew, because she wanted it too. Dani stepped back to the younger woman, keeping eye contact, adjusting the angle of her head as she entered Grace’s space. She reached to Grace’s sides and began tearing away the velcro straps holding the kevlar vest in place. 

“Is this ok?” Dani whispered, sliding her fingers up under where the vest had kept Grace safe and warm all day. Grace shivered as Dani’s fingers stroked her sensitive sides. Dani touched her deeper under the vest, running her fingers underneath the swell of Grace’s breasts. She continued her loving gaze up at her partner, who was starting to come undone. Dani could see Grace’s demeanor changing with every touch she gave her. “Grace?” 

“Um... we don’t have much time, Dani.” Her voice was so soft now. It melted the commander’s heart and made the remaining puddle bubble up, simmering under the fire always burning between them. 

“I’ll decide that. I’m the Commander of the Resistance. I can make them wait until the rest of the convoy arrives.” Dani smiled, licking her bottom lip, running her fingers across delicate, sensitive nipples that were so responsive to her. Grace gave her signature grin, baring her teeth this time. Dani loved that toothy grin. It made her want Grace all the more. “Ok?” Dani began to unhook the shoulder straps of the vest, pulling it away from her partner’s chest, letting it fall to the floor. 

Grace nodded, took a step backward toward the door and wedged the butt of her rifle underneath the doorknob and pressed it tight on the other end with a boot. Impromptu door lock. It wouldn’t keep out a terminator, but anyone else would think twice. She turned back around and Dani was stripping off her armor. Grace followed suit, sliding the shoulder shields off, then her gloves, along with the shin guards and her boots. Dani moved toward her and reached for the buttons on her fatigues. Grace stopped her with a gentle hand. “Dani, wait a minute. Let’s do this the right way.” 

Dani was puzzled momentarily. She thought every way with Grace was the right way. She watched as Grace sidestepped her and moved over to the sofa bed, pulling the pillow and blankets off to the side. She smiled, in awe of the care and time Grace took to roll out the sheets, tucking them into every corner perfectly. She bit her bottom lip and marveled at the warrior making a place for them that would be only theirs. Grace laid out the blankets, one on top of the other and folded them down halfway across the bed. She put the clean pillow cases on, and gently fluffed the pillows, tossing them down beside each other. “My love,’ Dani whispered. She did not think she could fall more in love with Grace, but the young woman never ceased to amaze her with her acts of kindness and consideration. Grace moved next to the work light hanging by the sink. It was far too bright and intrusive. It was one of those old trouble lamps that mechanics used under the hoods of cars, with a hook to hang it from things. Grace unhooked it from the wall, kicked her helmet over, and laid the whole thing inside the cavity. The matte black was unreflective and did quite a bit to dim the shine. Dani shook her head, in awe of her lover’s constant ingenuity. 

“Come here, Daniella.” Oh, sweet Jesus, Dani loved when Grace called her that. It sent a rush right through her every time. As if being pulled by a tractor beam, Dani took the two steps forward into the strong arms being offered to her. She laid her head against Grace’s chest, feeling her heart pound like a sledge hammer. She was so strong and her presence took Dani’s breath away. She loved it when Grace was gentle. She felt the light touch of fingertips running across the back of her neck, arousing the small hairs there, sending a hot pulse down her spine. Dani believed she could just melt right into the warrior and disappear forever. Dani reached up and began the dance. There was the game they played when they went slow, where they would undress each other, fully experiencing everything the other had to give. Dani liked taking Grace’s clothes off slowly, deliberately running her hands across the skin she had just exposed, giving every part of Grace every bit of her attention. 

Grace mustered every ounce of control she had. Being with Dani ignited an inferno inside of her every single time. She ran so hot for the commander constantly, but when they were close like this, with this particular level of intensity, it was all she could do to contain herself. This level, this moment, with Dani Ramos was not what it appeared to be. To all outside eyes, not that anyone would ever get to see, this moment was slow and tender, easy to do. It took every bit of Grace’s self-control; and in holding it together, she just burned that much hotter with ever-increasing degrees of intensity and love. Grace felt at her best like this. Going at Dani hard was quite easy actually. Being aggressive required no work from Grace. But this.... oh, god, this... under Dani’s tutelage, Grace was a razor’s edge. 

Grace reached down and began unbuttoning Dani’s uniform shirt, taking care not to mangle it with her clumsy fingers. She carefully stripped the shirt off of the commander, and laid it down on the bed. Once she got the uniform off entirely, she would hang it up, but there was no sense in breaking their rhythm this second. She ran her fingers lightly across Dani’s shoulders, feeling the release of heat from under the black uniform t-shirt. Dani undid the last button on Grace’s fatigue shirt, and spread it open, exposing the tank top that was typical Grace fashion. She ran her fingers up under the hem of the shirt, snaking her hands up to stretch across the well-defined abdominal muscles. She raised her hands up, touching every part of Grace’s belly that she could, upward to graze the tender skin below the blonde’s breasts. The warmth radiating from Grace’s body was enough to send the shockwave through Dani down to where she felt it most intensely. Dani’s eyes rolled back in her head for a moment and she moaned softly, leaning herself entirely against Grace. She felt lips in her hair, and soft whispers of encouragement and kindness that were only ever for her. This secret they had, this side of themselves that was so private and unique, was a treasure to Dani. 

Dani looked up, and Grace’s eyes were fireballs of blue. The hypernova within Grace’s soul shone through in those eyes. Dani reached up, cupping the blonde’s cheeks in her hands, pulling her downward. She pressed her lips tightly against Grace’s, creating a seal, a vacuum where their tongues could play without the pull of gravity. Dani felt weightless in Grace’s kiss. 

Grace backed her toward the bed, stopping when she felt resistance as Dani’s legs met the edge of the mattress. “Lay down.” Grace’s order was different now. It wasn’t fueled with sexual urgency or force, granting Grace the authority to take whatever she wanted. Her words were a guide now, giving Dani direction if she did not want control here. Grace was so strong, and Dani would follow her anywhere. 

Dani dropped back into the center of the bed, finally able to stretch out. Her stretch became uncontrollable, taking over every part of her, she reached her hands up over her head, arched her back, stretched her legs out and groaned so loud everyone in the bunker could hear. Grace laughed, “Better?” 

“Oh my god, yes!” Dani smiled, feeling more at ease now than she had in the last few days. Grace knelt on the bed, stripping off her fatigue shirt and her tank top. She reached down to unbutton Dani’s pants. 

“I’m not rushing. I just want to hang them up.” Grace reassured her. She pulled the uniform pants down and suddenly realized Dani wasn’t wearing underwear. “Umm, you’re missing something.” 

“I know. I got excited when the alarm went off at the base this morning, I just hurried and forgot to put them on. By the time I thought about it, it was too late.” 

Grace eyed the naked beauty from head to toe, as she quickly pulled Dani’s socks off. She took the entire uniform and hung it up in the little closet, laying Dani’s socks over top of her boots to air out. Grace turned back to take in the sight before her, the softness of the bronze skin, the rise of two supple breasts, the smooth belly, her legs, every part of Dani that Grace knew intimately. She started laughing out loud suddenly, and Dani felt very self-conscious. “What? What the fuck, Grace?” Dani moved to cover herself with a blanket. 

“No, baby...no... it’s ok. I was just going to ask if I had to call you Commando Ramos now.” Grace let out a laugh that came from deep in her belly. Most of her jokes were only funny to her, but the way she laughed at them sent Dani into hysterics with her. They giggled like high school girls. Grace laughed so hard she snorted a couple of times. 

Dani just shook her head after a moment of shared hilarity. “Smartass, come here.” 

Grace removed her trousers and laid down next to her. They were able to resume the silence they usually shared during these moments. Sometimes, Dani saw Grace’s upturned mouth, driving down another laugh whenever she told herself the joke again in her head. Dani did her best to ignore it, and bring Grace’s full attention back around. She reached down and found what she was looking for. Grace was ready, under those boxer briefs. When Dani’s fingers flitted across the bulge, Grace shuddered and sighed heavily. Dani reached inside the briefs and palmed Grace gently, rubbing slowly to bring out the warrior’s full hardness and length. Grace looked at Dani with very hungry eyes. “I want to be on top of you tonight, lover.” Dani had waited quite a while to hear that. She rolled from her side to her back, releasing her hold on Grace. The blonde shifted so she could remove her briefs, and socks as well. When she returned, she leaned over Dani, careful not to lay her weight down just yet. She planked on her feet and elbows, planting her arms on either side of Dani’s head. Grace leaned in and claimed the brunette’s lips with hers. She moaned into the kiss, feeling how incredibly soft Dani’s mouth was. She used her lips to part Dani’s, and immediately felt a tongue in her mouth, searching her for more. Grace felt herself stiffen further, aching to be inside this beautiful and wonderful woman. Dani wrapped one arm around Grace’s back, and the other cupped Grace’s chin. She ran her thumb back and forth across the scar on her jaw, noticing how much she now looked like the Grace from before. It was right then that the two separate realities fused into one. It had been decided, this WAS her Grace. Dani sobbed. Tears that were not there a minute ago threatened to fall any second. The tsunami of love and the end of waiting for years washed through her so hard, it rocked her entire body. Grace paused, watching her partner go through something fiercely personal. “Are you ok, Dani?” She could only ask that, nothing more. Dani would tell her if she chose. Dani blinked and tears rolled, she nodded. Grace dipped her head to kiss the wet trails down each of her cheeks, reassuring the commander that she was loved and cared for. Grace took her time, waiting for Dani to decide when she was ready to proceed. Dani took a deep breath, steady in the new truth, and could no longer wait to be with her Grace. She urged the warrior to continue. 

Dani felt a stealthy hand find its way down her torso and carefully push between her thighs. She opened herself wide for Grace, giving herself entirely over. 

“Mmmm, Dani.” Grace was breathless already, rubbing two fingers across Dani’s labia, carefully gaining entry to the older woman’s most sensitive place. 

“I’m yours Grace. I trust you..” Dani held the young blonde’s jaw, maintaining eye contact. As Grace stroked her slowly, Dani could feel how wet she had become during this exchange. She loved the effect Grace had on her. “That’s all for you.” Grace pulled her fingers away, and brought them up to her mouth. She loved the taste of her partner, and could never help but plunge the fingers between her lips for a taste. They’d get to that later, Grace thought. What she needed was connection. Her body was ready for Dani. She rested on her knees, positioning herself between the soft brown thighs. She aimed the head of her cock against Dani’s warm entrance. Her breathing stopped for a moment at the sensation of being so close, but not quite. 

“I love you with all my heart, Dani. Please know that. I only want to treat you right and be good to you in every way.” That might have been the most Grace had ever said during these intimate moments. Dani nodded and arched her back, bringing her hips forward and up, swallowing Grace in one delicious move. Both women gasped in stereo. Grace felt all of her strength give out, but was, of course, rescued by Dani, who in that instant pulled the blonde down on top of her completing the connection. Jesus, Grace thought, it was perfection. They moved together flawlessly, each complimenting the other at every thrust. They made love for what felt like hours, or might have only been minutes. They lost themselves in the safety and comfort of each other. At least three orgasms overtook Dani, as Grace ground them out one after the next. Grace’s length and size filled and stretched her in every possible way, touching her everywhere inside. The head of her shaft pulled and dragged against Dani’s walls, caressing her g-spot with every driving push. Grace held back as long as she could until Dani whispered that it was ok and she wanted her to let go. And Grace gave Dani everything she had. All her love and lust, intensity, and emotions so strong that they didn’t have names, she poured into Dani when she came inside of her. 

They laid together for quite some time, Grace on top, still inside Dani, while they just shared loving touches. They kissed and talked softly, worshipping one another until they were physically and emotionally spent. Dani loved being at this point, where they were absolutely exhausted. It was funny to her, that just one round of intense lovemaking could do that to them. The whole thing was like a powder keg. There was so much potential energy there all the time, and it always exploded out in one complete eruption. Dani never got tired of it. Grace could probably go all night, just on the fuel of desire and care she felt so deeply. Dani was a miracle to Grace, and she knew, down in her heart, that she would die for her without hesitation. 

There were voices outside the door, and a loud knock. “Who is it?” Dani yelled. They both sat up, suddenly ready to get moving again. 

“Private Vanda, ma’am, the officers sent me to get you and Lt. Harper for the meetings.” Her voice seemed to struggle getting the last part out, even though everyone knew where Grace could be found during down time. 

“We’ll be right there!” Grace yelled, announcing her presence. She turned and smiled at Dani, leaned in for a gentle kiss. She whispered “You are amazing. I’m so lucky.” 

Dani brushed blonde hair with her fingers, “you are my only love in this life and the next.” Her words rang with an obscure truth that Grace might hopefully never have to know. 

When the women got dressed, Grace knelt down on a knee to lace up her boots. Dani moved in front of her, looking down, trying to straighten Grace’s wild hair. It was never any use. Grace stopped working on her boots and looked up at Dani. 

“I’m not good with too many words. You know I don’t always have things to say. But you know me. You KNOW me. It’s like I never have to tell you things, Dani. You just know. And I want to continue that, where you just know me and teach me things. I love learning from you. You make me a better person every single day. I know that if you let me, I will spend the rest of my life practicing being better … all for you.” Grace reached down into her pants pocket and produced a shiny band of titanium. “Daniella Ramos, when this is all over,” Grace’s eyes filled with tears. Dani couldn’t even breathe. “When this is all over, will you marry me?” Grace took Dani’s hand and slipped the metal ring over her finger. It was a little big, but Dani curled her hand tight to hold onto it as if it gave her life. 

Dani’s chest heaved as she wept, pulling Grace up to stand. “Yes. Yes. Yes!” Grace wrapped her arms around her now fiancée, and held her so tight. Dani was floored, and elevated too. There, together, they had forged the bond that would see them through anything.


	27. Attrition

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "You take my hand  
> I'll take your hand  
> Together we may get away  
> This much madness  
> Is too much sorrow  
> It's impossible  
> To make it today.
> 
> Down by the river."
> 
> -Neil Young

Dani and Grace met with the officers of Fort Leonard Wood late into the afternoon and early evening. They stood in the tiny command center room, pouring over maps and the most current intelligence reports about Legion across the river. The command center was not much of a room. It was just a hollowed-out cave in the tunnels. It was equipped with a radio station, a long table covered in local area maps. Strings of Christmas lights were hung up around the room, along with trouble lamps. It reminded Dani of her cousin’s apartment. Alessa was always decorating her room with different types of lighting. Dani remembered the Christmas lights were her favorite. These weren’t the type that blinked on and off, like Alessa’s. These just hung on the wall, unflinching in the stark, earthen hole. 

The new plan of attack was to obviously take the site at the river. Legion had amassed forces to the east, outside of the city. Legion machines were strange things. They did not need command centers or bunkers to hide in. They stood, ready, silent, waiting for orders that were compiled from pieces of information regarding human activity, threats, and movement. The hive mind of Legion was a stunning weapon. Dani knew that in order to completely beat the machines, that brain would have to be destroyed. One thing at a time, Ramos. This access point was essential to resupplying the west and making lasting contact with the Resistance forces in the east. 

The machines had control between Cahokia and Madison. St. Louis was only two hours by vehicle from where they were. In that amount of time, the Resistance could mount an attack on the machines within the next day. The pilots and various crafts were relatively safe, hidden near Miller’s Cave. The equipment was sitting, exposed, but the pilots had taken shelter for the night inside the cave. They weren’t far away. Major Emery had communications with the command center from the moment they landed. They’d stay out of sight till morning, not wanting to give legion any reason to press forward. Emery said they had taken out quite a few of the Legion HKs, but he was sure more were coming. 

The information coming out of the north was hopeful. Jay Yellow Bear and Capt. Dale Williams had been successful in their plans to draw Legion fire. The machines had been reported as moving out west and north away from the River. The same was true of Corpus Christi. Lucinda Craine had launched an offensive against Legion’s water defenses, effectively pulling more machines in her direction. Dani hoped, deep down, that they would all make it out alive. 

“We have to strike tonight. They’re buying us time in the north and south, but it won’t hold. Legion will be onto us by morning.” Sergeant Jason Gordon stroked his beard, which he had recently braided into one long twist. A light colored, but deep scar ran down his face, from the middle of his forehead to just above his jaw, cutting right through where his eye would have been. Gordon was deep in thought, wondering just how they would pull this off. “Commander, your forces are about an hour away, navigating the shithole between here and Springfield. They’re sustaining fire from Legion HK’s. They have air support from Master Sergeant Fremont. He’s got tanks on the ground, and choppers in the air. His jets are cool and everything, but they’re not well armed. They’re probably going to be good for a single pass over St. Louis, just to get us started on the ground.” 

Dani considered all of this new information carefully. Her soldiers would be coming in hot. There would be no time to regroup. Her battle plan had fallen apart. She had hoped there would be time to distribute supplies and allow her forces to rest at least for the night. Instead, they’d all have to push through to the city. Gordon’s forces were always ready, he said. They’d have to sort and distribute weapons on the ground, en route to St. Louis. It was certainly not ideal, but it was still a plan. Dani had been used to changing plans in order to keep rolling forward. She was adaptable. 

Grace stood silently in the mix of men and women, pondering how all of this would work. If Legion was moving out to the north, west, and south, taking the river would be plausible. Legion had blown out the bridges spanning the river, near Madison, National City, and East St. Louis. Those were the Resistance lifelines and could be rebuilt. This battle would be a volley of artillery over the river. It would be an air assault. Grace wasn’t even sure how many boots would see action tonight, unless the machines marched straight through the river at them. She offered this possibility up, and everyone in the room agreed that it could happen. They were trying to be prepared for every single possibility. It was decided that the ground forces would spread out through the city, along the river, as they could. They would hold the city with small arms and the mortars and landmines. “We have to move like fucking lightning.” Grace wasn’t sure how much of this could be accomplished. 

“Right.” Gordon motioned for one of the other officers to start spreading the word to the infantry soldiers. They’d do their best to get everyone on the same page. Communications with Major Emery told him to get ready to scramble the bunker busters and Scorpions. They’d be transporting thousands of soldiers and equipment over the next few hours. Just then, word came in that Dani’s reinforcements from Fort Bliss had arrived. No alarm sounded, but everyone headed to the bay. This was the moment of truth. Dani radioed Sergeant Fremont to take command of the convoys and head straight through to St. Louis. There would be no time to rest before the assault. Commander Ramos instructed the ground crews to pick up as many soldiers and weapons as possible on their way through. This was now the best plan the Resistance had. It was time to move. 

Grace and Dani topped briefly in their room to armor up and retrieve their rifles. Inside the room, Grace dressed with such ease and confidence in the way she had done a hundred times before. She had a zone that she got into, where she became meticulous, methodical, and focused. Dani’s hands shook violently while she tried to strap the vest to her body. She was scared to death. Grace could see how unsteady the commander was. She finished tightening her glove straps, and moved over to help Dani. Grace took Dani’s hands in hers, steadying the commander. “Let me.” She whispered, but it was a clear order from the ranger. Dani dropped her hands to her side and let Grace dress her. Grace was quick, not overly gentle, but effective in her ministration. “You’re okay, Dani. Stay right beside me from now on. Do not go out on your own. Let me protect you, Commander.” Dani looked up into those glowing blue eyes. This was what Grace was made for, in any lifetime. She was Dani’s guard, her protector, her lifeline. They stayed like that for a long moment, but no more than a few seconds. The stare between them spoke everything they shared together. 

Grace broke off, shouldered her rifle, and led the way toward the entry bay of the Fort Leonard Wood bunker. 

The bay doors were open, and Scorpions were landing right outside. Soldiers from both commands began hauling weapons and equipment, packing lightly to get to the front of the action. The movement was quick, fluid, like the lightning Grace spoke of earlier. Grace helped Dani to board one of the transports, strapped her into a seat, and sat down beside her as the machine lifted itself into the air. The flight would take only 30 minutes. Dani realized that was a long time to wait. She breathed deeply, acutely aware of the soldiers beside her. She mustered every speck of courage she had. Dani had been in battles with the machines before, but this was on a scale that was unprecedented, even for her. 

Major Emery had begun the air strike with the choppers and the F-22s. He led the charge, just ahead of the ground crews. Sergeant Fremont brought up the rear with the mobilized tanks and trucks, hauling men and artillery. There would be no command post, no place for officers to decide how to proceed. This would be a full-on attack, and probably a total clusterfuck, if Dani let herself think about it too long. Had she made a grave error in ordering this operation? Was she just sending thousands of human beings to their deaths? She understood perfectly well that every military campaign had risks and casualties. 

The city sprawled out before them, mostly destroyed and crumbling. Jesus, Dani thought, what the fuck are we trying to save? She suddenly questioned if humanity would be able to ever recover from this; or if she was just allowing people to cling to an old memory of a life long gone. She tried not to think about it. The objective was clear: take the river back from Legion. Dani closed her eyes and listened to the sound of the engines. She felt warm fingertips on hers, as Grace reached out to touch her. The soldier offered her one last moment of compassion and comfort before they landed near Busch Stadium. Once, thousands of baseball fans gathered there in the summer months to watch the Cardinals play. Now, it was a husk, an innuendo of what the former time represented. 

Their boots hit the ground just after sunset. Grace and the Rangers grouped around Dani as the Commander of the Resistance began to shout orders for forward movement. She exercised her clear, uncontested authority along the edge of the city, from the remains of the broken Gateway Arch to highway 115 where the bridge was blown out. Her orders passed from officer to officer, telling soldiers to hold the bank while the bunker-busters and Scorpions continued the frontal air assault. Soldiers followed orders to set up land mines along the edge of the water. They prepared the artillery, the mortars, and steeled themselves against the certain forthcoming slaughter. After an hour of no activity from Legion, Dani began to wonder what was happening. She hadn’t seen any movement from across the river since Major Emery’s blitz on the old buildings and surrounding roads. The machines had to be aware of their presence on this side of the water by now. But where were they all? The darkness had provided Legion with the tactical advantage of cover. 

Major Emery radioed in that there were no air forces to be seen from Legion. He thought they had either taken them all out, or they had moved on to the north and south. Whatever happened, Emery could not detect a single aircraft in the area. He said they had been successful in taking down what they could see with the Scorpion guns and the F-22s. The small guns on the helicopters were able to tear through a few of the armored Legion HKs. He said they had just fallen into the river below. Dani heard someone clear their throat behind her. She turned to see Jessica Devereaux, who had overheard the conversation. “Yeah, about that. When we heard you were coming, I decided to get in the game. I had a little surprise for those Legion fucks.” Jessica Devereaux reminded the Commander very much of Sarah Connor. Dani cocked her head, waiting for Devereaux to continue. "About 6 months ago, my guys found a cache of military grade energy weapons. Just small stuff, really. Like you’d have to get up close and personal with the machines to have any effect. They managed to wire a few of the weapons together and we shot them over the river just before you arrived.” Devereaux had performed a successful EMP strike. “We shut down the fliers that were still here, but there were thousands of Revs already there. I can’t tell you what happened to them.” 

Grace watched the water in front of them, starlight glinting off the surface, darkness shrouding the whole scene. The Resistance was about to get their answer on where the Revs were. Grace hated being right, but thousands and thousands of glowing, red eyes began to rise up from the water, as the machines reared their ugly heads. Artillery shells began firing, and a whole line of military grade flares lit up the sky over the water. The strobe effect provided enough light to see the nightmare unfold before them. Under the artificial daylight, Legion was coming. 

“Oh... my... God...” Devereaux whispered. From all up and down the waterfront, screams, shouts of orders, and gunfire began. There was no time to process. The machines were already on the Resistance side of the river. The Rangers surrounded Dani, and Grace opened fire alongside Vanda and Henry. Ruiz and Edwards flanked the Commander, waiting for more machines to approach. The Equalizers were greatly effective, blowing big holes in the machines, if a soldier’s aim was true. Grace wasted no time in taking apart every monster she could see. The Revs were many, and for every one that fell, another split into two and took its place. The horrified screams of men and women being cut apart were too much. A second round of flares shot up into the sky. The endless waves of Legion soldiers kept coming. Dani raised her rifle and decided to do her fucking part. She was no more important or disposable than any other soldier tonight. Her first shot sent an early model Rev flying backward, never to stand up again. Grace was mowing down machine after machine, as they continued to be pressed backward. Dani shot out at a second Rev, this one was the exoskeleton that had split from its owner. The shells from her rifle exploded inside its head, once, then twice, before a long metal tentacle flew directly at her. The machine was trying to spear her. She instinctively raised her left hand up to block the shot, though she didn’t know what good it would do. She was reminded of when she’d play fight with Diego, and she’d block his shots that way. She felt the cold metal slice through her hand with ease. The spear had just missed her head, grazing her cheek as the girth of the tentacle grew in passing. The machine pulled back, and Dani screamed as the the metal slid out. It felt like broken glass was being crushed into her flesh; the tentacles were designed to go in smooth, but the retraction was barbed, like a cat’s tongue. Dani heard a grunt from behind her. She turned to see Vanda, bleeding from her throat. The spear had run through Dani’s hand and all the way through Amelia Vanda. Dani took a step forward and pressed her one good hand against Vanda’s throat. The woman was bleeding so profusely, Dani knew she wasn’t going to make it. Vanda fell to her knees, choking and spitting blood. Grace kept firing in front of them alongside Henry. She glanced back and down at Dani and Vanda. 

“Jesus Christ! NO!!! Grace yelled. Enraged, she began to empty her entire clip into a Rev7 endoskeleton, sending it flying backward, dead. Then another, and another until Grace was out of clips. Dani cradled her injured hand under her arm, trying to apply pressure to Vanda’s throat to staunch the bleeding. She looked down into the Private’s eyes; and before she could say anything at all to Amelia Vanda, Dani watched the Ranger slip away into the darkest night they’d ever known. 

Fremont’s tanks and assault vehicles roared onto the scene, providing well needed reinforcements. The cannons boomed and landmines exploded all up and down the riverfront. Bunker-busters and choppers and Scorpions came to the rescue of the exposed soldiers on the ground. Dani held Vanda’s body against hers, stunned, shocked, terrified, and the pain of her hand was starting to blur her vision. She felt Grace kneel in front of her, shielding her with her body. Grace was so close, she could feel the woman’s heat and the recoil of her weapon.

The remaining Rangers laid down suppressive fire around Commander Ramos, who was kneeling in the blood-soaked dirt with Vanda. A group of Scorpions pulled into the city above them from the north. They began landing all up and down the front. The aircraft that landed near the Rangers bore more soldiers, ammunition from Ontario, and one pissed off Maggie Fischer. Maggie opened fire as soon as she stepped off the Scorpion, laying to waste every machine she could see. The reinforcements provided the resistance gunners with new ways to deal death to Legion. 

Henry finally processed what had happened to his teammates, and broke ranks. He let out a blood curdling scream and charged at a Rev, firing shot after shot into its so-called face. Grace watched in stupefied horror as the Rev lashed out, spearing Henry through the center with two tentacles, cutting his body completely in half. The Rev sent him flying in two directions. Fischer launched a grenade from her belt into the oncoming machines, watching them fly back from the explosion. She threw several more, clearing their path to the river. 

The battle went on for hours, though it could have been days. The sky was lit up at some points, dark at others. Dani had no concept of time anymore. All she knew was pain. And fear. Just before dawn, the shots fired became fewer and fewer, until silence met the rising sun. Thousands of Legion machines lay strewn across the banks of the Mississippi River in front of them. Not a single monster stood anymore. As many bodies of human soldiers littered the scene. It was over. The Resistance had taken St. Louis back. 

Grace sat on her ass in the dirt, reloading her Equalizer. She was covered in dirt and blood from the shrapnel that had torn Edwards apart. Ruiz stood silently next to her, scanning the area for machine stragglers. Grace turned to face Dani, who was slumped on the ground, still cradling Vanda’s lifeless form in one arm against her chest. “Look at me, Commander!” Grace ordered, reaching out to bring Dani’s face up to meet her gaze. Dani locked eyes with her, still shell shocked and terrified. 

“I think, she’s.... I think.... Vanda.... Grace, she’s...” Dani couldn’t speak. Grace nodded and just said she knew. The remaining Resistance forces were beginning to regroup. They would remain in the area, occupying the west bank of the river until reinforcements from the east side could arrive. Thanks to Maggie Fischer, they were well supplied with ammunition. What they did not have many of, now, were human beings to use that ammunition. But even a single soldier would prevail where no machines stood. 

Grace pulled Dani away from Vanda’s body, helping the Commander to stand up. “We won, Dani. You did it.” Dani did not think she had done much at all during the fight, except get a Ranger killed and almost herself too. 

“I didn’t do anything.” 

“Are you fucking kidding me?” You did ALL of this!” Grace made a long sweeping move with her arm across the city. “Dani let me see your hand.” Dani still cradled her injured left hand beneath her right armpit. The blood had congealed during the long night, and everything was stuck together. The pain shot through her arm like a jolt of electricity, as everything began to pull away from itself. Grace carefully took her hand into her own, gently inspecting it. Grace pulled out her tactical pocket knife, flipped the blade up, and gently began to cut away Dani’s glove. The injury was worse than Grace thought. The tentacle not only ran through Dani’s palm, but had sliced it completely open between her middle and ring fingers, essentially cutting her hand in half. All of her fingers were still intact, including the ring Grace had given her only hours before. Grace suddenly felt foolish, giving Dani a titanium washer from a Chinook engine. It didn’t even fit. She was shocked back into the moment when she felt Dani begin to sway, pulling away from Grace’s grasp. Grace instinctively reached out, grabbed Dani’s arm, and moved in close to her. Dani was passing out. Grace lifted the Commander into her arms and whispered, just for Dani to hear, “I’ve got you, my love. Let’s go.” Grace had no time to process the enormous loss the Carlsbad Rangers had sustained. Private Ruiz sighed heavily and followed Grace back to the nearest medic station.


	28. Remembrance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Oh, and there we were all in one place  
> A generation lost in space  
> With no time left to start again  
> So come on Jack be nimble, Jack be quick  
> Jack Flash sat on a candlestick  
> 'Cause fire is the devil's only friend."
> 
> -Don McClean

The field medics wrapped Dani’s hand as best they could there on the battlefield. Reports came in to Grace that reinforcements were on the way from Chicago, Kansas City, and Indianapolis. The eastern coalition would keep control of the river while Dani’s western forces recuperated. This was good news, Grace thought, considering the Resistance had just had their asses handed to them. Even though this was a decisive victory for humanity, the losses were substantial. Grace shook off the thought of who had fallen beside her during the night. Her concern was getting Dani to a safe place, with a hospital that could repair her hand. The only place she could think to take the Commander was back to Fort Bliss. Of all the other hospitals in this region, Grace knew the one back home was best. Dani deserved the best care that could be given. 

Private Ruiz went forth on Grace’s orders to find a helicopter and pilot to take them home. His work had been cut out for him. Although there were plenty of old helicopters to spare, there were no available pilots at the moment. Most of them were busy with the Scorpions now. The sudden shift in technology had left absolutely no one wanting to use the outdated aircraft. It wasn’t for a lack of trying, everyone just seemed busy with other things. Even though Ruiz expressed the need to get the Commander back to Fort Bliss, no one but Major Emery was listening. Emery instructed Ruiz to let Grace fly one of the Speed Hawk helicopters back home. She’d had a lesson and probably would not kill them, Emery joked. He was in a proper good mood with the Resistance victory. He admitted that they could not spare any new aircraft just yet, because they were being used to bring eastern reinforcements and supplies forward. Ruiz saluted the major, which got him yelled at, and he went to find Grace. 

“Fuck me, Ruiz. Are you serious? He wants me to fly from here, for six hours, all the way back to Fort Bliss?” Grace sometimes hated Major Emery’s suggestions. 

“That’s what he said.” 

“I’ve had one flight lesson....one.” Grace thought it over, and looked down at Dani, who was unconscious thanks to morphine. She reached down and ran her fingers under the large abrasion on Dani’s cheek. “Alright. Let’s load up.” 

Once they were up in the air, Grace felt better about the situation. Flying was easy. Taking off and landing were the difficult parts. She had fared better piloting the helicopter than the huge cargo plane. Ruiz had strapped Dani into the back seat, securely inside the five-point harness. They had taken her helmet off to allow her to lay her head back and relax. Ruiz sat beside the Commander, watching her vitals. Grace talked to Ruiz through the headsets, getting status reports on her partner. Grace managed to fly three hours straight without seeing a single Legion machine. They stopped outside of Dallas to refuel, and continued on straight to El Paso. 

Over Biggs Airfield, Grace successfully, if not roughly, landed the chopper outside the hidden underground entrance. She quickly unbuckled Dani from the straps, pulled the commander into her arms, and carried her below ground. The elevator wasn’t moving fast enough for Grace. She grew impatient, and a whole slew of emotions began rising up, threatening to rock her to the core. She couldn’t do that right now. She swallowed hard and shook it off, cutting off contact between herself and whatever she was about to feel. She looked down at the unconscious woman in her arms, a mangled, bandaged hand cradled against her chest. “Ruiz, when we get down, I need you to run and find us a go cart or something with an engine in it.” Ruiz nodded, and as the elevator doors opened, he sprinted down the hall toward the mess hall. They always kept motorized golf carts down that way. 

Grace cradled Dani in her arms and began the long walk down to the hospital. Her arms were growing weak with every step she took. She was exhausted and starving, unsure of when she last ate or slept. Her duty to the Commander and the Resistance was not finished, not by far. She wasn’t kidding when she believed she’d die for this woman. And now she also knew she’d die for this cause. The victory at the river was enough to inspire confidence in humanity’s ability to overcome Legion. Grace believed now, all in, that people could take the world back. It wasn’t just some pipe dream anymore. 

Ruiz rounded the corner with a cart a few feet in front of Grace. He slammed on the brakes, turned the little cart around, and stopped long enough for Grace to load up. He put it in gear and floored it in the direction of the med bay. 

“Grace?” Dani’s voice was soft and far away. Her head was pounding and her hand … it felt like it had been ripped off. Grace looked down at her, shushing her, telling her not to worry about anything. Help was on the way. “Where are we, Grace?” 

“Home.” Grace answered right as Ruiz pulled into the open expanse of the Fort Bliss hospital. Nurses swamped them as soon as they realized who Grace was carrying. They rushed her into the emergency room, and began their process of vitals and triage. They checked her over for any life-threatening injuries, excessive bleeding, and so forth. Grace relayed what happened to her at the river. They were all full of questions about the battle. Grace politely urged them to all focus on the Commander. She hated giving primary care of Dani over to anyone, but Grace forced herself to step back. Captain Algren was there. She remembered him from when the Rev had stabbed her coming back from Carlsbad. He offered her a chair to sit beside Dani. He knew Grace wasn’t leaving, no matter if he ordered her to go. 

Grace watched them like a hawk as they began unwrapping Dani’s bandaged hand. The commander was in and out of consciousness the whole time, and Grace kept a hand on Dani’s arm, whispering kind and reassuring words in her ear. The damage to Dani’s hand was quite terrible. The finger that bore the ring was swollen now. There was no way that ring would slip off. “Cut it off,” Grace ordered one of the nurses. She’d find another one soon enough. Dani’s left hand had been split completely in half, from the bottom of her palm to up between her middle and ring fingers. This wasn’t something they’d be able to stitch together in one fell swoop. This would require some detailed surgery to repair veins, tendons, muscle, bone, and skin. They would have to rebuild Dani’s hand. Grace felt her pulse quicken, realizing the severity of the injury. Captain Algren assured Grace that it would be fine. They were learning new things with the reverse engineered Legion tech. 

“You don’t put a single piece of Legion hardware in her body, do you understand me? Sir?” Grace was standing toe to toe with the captain now, seething at the idea of putting machine parts into her partner. 

“I understand, Lieutenant, but it’s really not up to you. Commander Ramos would want this, if it gives her full use of her hand again.” Captain Algren countered. 

“I have her proxy. It IS my decision.” Grace argued. She was just getting angrier and angrier. 

“Do it, Doc.” Dani spoke up from behind them. Grace whipped around to see Dani’s eyes were open, inspecting the damage to her hand. “Grace, thank you for looking out for me, but I need my hand. Captain Algren, do what you have to do.” He nodded to Dani and left the room to prepare for surgery. 

“Grace sit down.” Dani offered her good hand out to the mad blonde. Grace shook her head and wanted to spit on the floor. This was unreasonable. Every fight they’d every had with those fucking machines was to preserve humanity, not strip it away. She forced her anger down, gently grasped Dani’s hand and sat back down. “Just be with me, Grace.” Dani’s voice was weakening as she began to pass out again. Grace looked at her, worried that this process would fail, or take away some of what made Dani so wonderfully human. 

“Dani... I love you.” Grace whispered, pulling the commander’s hand up to kiss it gently. Dani elicited a soft moan, but did not respond otherwise. 

Grace was made to leave during surgery. She paced the hallway outside with Ruiz, who had come back with food for her. “You haven’t eaten in a while, L-T. Sit. I’ll stay with you if you want.” Private Ruiz was a decent fellow. He had tried hard to always care for every one of the Rangers in their time together. Now it was just him and Grace. They sat together in the hallway, in the motor cart, while Grace forced some soy curd into her stomach. She wasn’t hungry, but she knew he was right, she hadn’t eaten in days, she was sure now. Ruiz also suggested that she go home, shower, change clothes and rest. They would come get her when Dani was out of surgery. Grace was exhausted, but did not want to miss anything. She looked over at Ruiz, who was struggling to be strong for her. He had lost the same people in the battle. Between them, that shared look of understanding and pain finally broke the wall Grace had thrown up. “Private Amelia Vanda.” Ruiz said. 

“Sergeant Adam Henry,” Grace choked out. She sobbed loudly, remembering Sergeant Henry, how kind he was always, protective, smart, and compassionate. She cradled her head in her hands and cried, releasing the tidal wave of grief. 

“Private John James Edwards.” Ruiz lost it. He and Edwards had been best friends since the beginning of their time together. 

“Corporal...Deke...Nelson.” Grace felt Ruiz’s hand on her back. She turned to him and fell against him, burying her face in his shoulder. Her heart broke for all of them. They were her family. Her friends. And they had died for something bigger than all of them combined. The Rangers recited the names of the fallen whenever they lost someone. This was too much. 

“Ruiz,” Grace croaked, “I don’t think I ever learned your first name. 

Ruiz made a strange breathy noise, deep from within him. “It’s Amador.” He wrapped his arms around Grace and held her as she wept uncontrollably. 

Once Grace had regained her composure, she felt absolutely empty. She was worried about Dani, and overwhelmed by the loss of most of her team. She allowed Ruiz to drive her back to hers and Dani’s shared room, where she could clean up and rest. A hot shower would probably do her good right now. Sitting in the hall wouldn’t do any good. There were hours yet before she’d hear anything. At the door of her room, she took Ruiz’s hand, shook it gently, and offered to get together soon to figure things out. He nodded, thanked her and drove off toward somewhere else. He never actually said where he was going. 

Once inside the room, behind the locked security door, Grace stripped out of her clothes. She checked herself for injuries. Aside from a few scrapes and bruises, she was ok. The hot water of the shower washed away the dirt and blood. She took extra time to wash the shit off her hands, but it was no use. The oil was there to stay, under her nails and cuticles. Grace dried off, and put on a clean pair of boxers, uniform pants, and a black tank top. She never bothered to comb her hair, but opted for some of Dani’s hair oil. That way it wouldn’t stick straight up. She laid down on the bed, burying her face in Dani’s pillow. The smell of her lover was all over it. Her heart ached, her body was tired. Grace fell asleep without meaning to. 

She was dreaming of the ghosts on the high hill, the Ranger’s formation as they walked through the forest outside of the militia base. She walked behind Vanda while Henry took point. The knock on the door dragged her from the pleasant dream of her comrades. Grace took a moment to right herself, wondering if she’d actually heard someone knock. The rapping against the metal door came again, louder this time. Grace leapt across the room and threw the door open. It was one of the nurses. “She’s awake and asking for you, Lieutenant.” 

Grace was out the door and sprinting down the long hall. She did not even put on her boots. Her bare feet slapped against the cold tile with every step she took. She didn’t care. All she cared about was the woman who had asked for her. Dani was lying in a bed, in a private room, propped up with several white-cased pillows. A slow smile crept across her face when Grace ran into the room. The blonde warrior stopped suddenly at the foot of the bed, taking in Dani’s countenance. Grace could not think of anything to say right then, which was not a great shock. 

“Come here, Grace.” Dani opened her arms. Her right arm had a tube running from it to an IV bottle of saline. Her left hand was wrapped in thick, white bandages. Her face, where the spear had grazed her, glistened with ointment. Someone had taken her hair out of the braids, and it flowed beautifully over her shoulders. Grace just stared, slowly shifting her feet toward the Commander. Dani moved slightly sideways, giving Grace enough room to join her. Grace sat, faced Dani, and looked deep into her dark brown eyes, searching her partner for answers or questions or orders; anything Dani needed, Grace would do. Dani used her right hand, took Grace by the arm, and pulled her down to lay in bed beside her. Grace wrapped Dani in long arms and legs, cradling her, protecting her again. 

Grace pulled the blankets up over them. The Commander was completely naked. Grace reached down and pulled her tank top off, pressing her front to Dani’s back, giving her that necessary contact. This wasn’t about sex or submission or domination. This was love and simple connection. Grace didn’t care who knew. Dani did not object. 

“Dani?” Grace whispered softly into her ear. 

Dani tipped her head to the side, closer to Grace’s lips. “Yes, love?” 

“You still don’t have any underwear on, Commando Ramos.” The two women laughed together. Grace held her close and tight, feeling Dani relax into her arms. 

After gentle shared touches, secret whispers, they slept.


	29. Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Deus Ex Machina
> 
> "How will the God emerge from the machine?  
> We started with God  
> the machine emerged  
> We picked up the machines  
> more machines emerged  
> We switched to humans  
> a super machine emerged  
> We picked the planet  
> a great machine untangled  
> Then having gracelessly mechanized everything  
> our selves, our things, our tools  
> our only home  
> Bound by the machines  
> a new God finally emerged."
> 
> -Rhadika Dirks

After the supply lines were reopened, the assault at the river became known as The Shove. It was hailed as the single greatest Resistance victory in those first years after Judgement Day. The name “Dani Ramos” became synonymous with fighting the machines. Her name was spoken with reverence and pride all over the country. When Dani lead the charge into St. Louis, with so many human lives on the line, she wasn’t thinking of greatness. She was thinking of survival. She was scared and out of her league. Human beings everywhere raised her up, essentially forcing her to cast off her fears and lead the people forward. 

The war was far from over. The Shove was just the first of many brawls that the Resistance would instigate against Legion. The human army lived up to its name every single time. People were done running and hiding underground. The Shove had given not just a few some desperately needed hope; but as word spread throughout the land, everyone took up arms against the cold, unfeeling enemy. There would be a great loss of life, but with that, came great human innovation and technology to beat back the machines at every turn. War was not without its price. The cost was paid in blood. A lot of blood. 

Dani’s hand healed uncommonly fast. She knew what was inside her, the technology scavenged from Legion to rebuild her. She did not like to talk about it, but it served as a reminder that augmentation was still a possible weapon they had against the machines. She thought for a long time, after Grace returned to 2021 to protect her, that her knowledge of augmentation would give it life after Judgement Day. As it turns out, it was already being explored by the Resistance. She could do nothing to stop it. She needed full use of both her hands if she was going to continue shoving back on the machines. She began to believe in fighting fire with fire, in this case. The eventuality of augmentation and time travel would just have to find their ways into this new reality, should that be fate’s desire. 

Grace Harper remained an unsung hero. That suited her just fine. She loved watching Dani bask in the glory that men and women showered upon her. Grace was better suited to being a soldier and a pilot. Major Emery returned to Fort Bliss in the following weeks and taught her how to fly every single aircraft they had at their disposal. Grace was happy as a grease monkey, elbow deep in some dirty, oily engine, making it work again. She felt good when she could fix things that were tangible, right in front of her. She was a very simple soul, and a very complex human being. She worked part time in the library with Penny Emery until Penny’s death the following winter. After that, Grace rarely went into the library at all. Penny’s passing was especially hard on Grace because she looked up to the old woman as a sort of grandmother figure. She continued to struggle with PTSD for years. Sometimes it was easy to get through, sometimes it was really bad. She never attacked Dani in her sleep again. But then again, maybe the reason she never did was because Dani Ramos never left her. Dani stood up to Grace’s demons and kept her safe from them. 

There was almost nowhere that Dani went that Grace wasn’t right beside her. That was how they operated. They had carved out space for each other in every single way. When Grace had to go somewhere, on a supply run or a brief mission without the Commander, Dani missed her deeply. Dani would pace the floors and worry incessantly until Grace returned to her. When Dani had to leave the post, Grace was always assigned as her personal guard. The Rangers recovered, with Grace at the head, and Ruiz as her second. They recruited 15 new souls to join them. They changed the name from Carlsbad to the Resistance 1st Ranger Division. Grace would go on to train hundreds under that banner. 

The red Resistance flag flew over every human military base, outpost, and civilian settlement. Everyone knew what the ouroboros meant. The great snake signified life, the time before the war with Legion. It stood for death, when the whole world crumbled under the rule of the machines. It stood for rebirth, when the Resistance finally gained the upper hand and stopped running. Dani was right about it being a unifying symbol. 

Although Grace had asked her, she and Dani never did get married. It wasn’t because there was no time or they didn’t want to. Grace had asked, and Dani said yes. They never talked about it after that. Grace did find her a better ring though; one she’d procured on a supply run. Funny thing about human beings, when they are just scrounging through the ashes to eke out an existence, certain things fall to the wayside and lose their value. Gold, silver, platinum, and even diamonds were like that. Grace did not get Dani a diamond, though. She kept it plain and simple, giving her partner a platinum wedding band, she looted from a jewelry store near Dallas one day. A few weeks later, Dani presented Grace with a ring of her own, very similar to hers. That seemed to be good enough for them. They were together and no one questioned it. They only ever had eyes for each other anyway, so it didn’t matter if it was ever official. All that mattered to Dani and Grace, were Dani and Grace. 

The Shove did one thing else for human beings. It reinstated faith in a thing greater than themselves. People, for centuries before, had marveled at their own ability to build things and advance their technology at breakneck speeds. What people realized after Judgement Day was that their reach exceeded their grasp. They stopped putting their faith in machines to propel them forward into the future. They no longer needed that god. Instead, a new religion, as it were, was formed after The Shove. The foundation grew from a single belief: the human heart and mind would never find purchase inside machines. For all they tried to do in making them more human, they ultimately failed. That failure finally resurrected humanity’s faith in itself, because nothing could stop the enduring spark of hope.


End file.
